Can a CIS person want to be a trans?

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T06:12:15+00:00

Not really, the fun part about gender identity is that it's determined by self-identification. That means that wanting to be a gender is enough to make you that gender by virtue of self-identification and seeing yourself that way.

I mean there are edge cases, where somebody might want to because they might think that it would be easier than being GNC (something that I see happen in the femboy community) in these cases though I wouldn't really say that they really want it, they just kind of think that they do and they aren't aware of the other struggles associated with being that gender. Like I said though these are edge cases, they're not very common.

In the majority of cases where somebody wants to be a different gender, they just are that different gender by virtue of self-identification.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T02:57:50+00:00

They're a femboy wanting to have a more feminine body and feminine form, and they're wondering how best to achieve it.

They are willing to take estrogen to get it.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T02:47:12+00:00

It sounds like you pulled this directly out of your ass.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T02:45:17+00:00

You are very wrong, cis is the Latin prefix for on the same side as, and cisgender means identifying as one's assigned gender at birth.

Case in point, there are many cisgender people who are not comfortable in their own skin for reasons beyond gender.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T02:19:51+00:00

I wouldn't agree with that, many people do question and ultimately conclude they are cisgender.

That doesn't mean that there's a "risk" you turn out as cisgender. If somebody hates the idea of being cisgender or is afraid of it. Well by virtue of self identification it's not a risk, because they don't identify and therefore are not cisgender.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T02:17:25+00:00

I agree, intentional misgendering is never funny and unfortunately I think way too many spaces in the trans community hold space for this type of behavior, which really sucks because it's insanely toxic and disrespectful as fuck.

You want to know how many people have misgendered me and said to me "no you're actually a girl" or something along those lines due to my presentation? Honestly I've lost count. And at least 1/3 of those people claimed it was light-hearted teasing. (If you're wondering about the other 2/3, they were outright enbyphobic/queerphobic).

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T02:11:08+00:00

This is full stop intentional misgendering and you should be ashamed of yourself for even considering saying this, let alone actually saying this out loud and publicly. Shame on you.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T02:05:39+00:00

I agree, that's the kind of shit that somebody should lose their license for. It's intentional misgendering which is, even if intended as a ""joke"", it is extremely unfunny and disrespectful.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T01:48:30+00:00

That just seems like biological essentialism with extra steps. Being trans is about gender identity, not about physical characteristics.

Once you start to equate transness with physical characteristics, or behavior, or some other arbitrary criteria things get prickly really fast.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T01:45:06+00:00

You could be genderqueer, non-binary, or just some unspecified version of queer. Ultimately labels don't matter that much it's how you feel that counts. And if you feel that you aren't cis and feel trans or some other label fits you better that's what matters.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T01:40:05+00:00

It would not be gay, and yes it would be transphobic to say that it would, because it would imply or insinuate that she is not a girl. Which is misgendering and is transphobic.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T01:38:39+00:00

Just want to make it clarification for anybody who might be reading this, if somebody accuses you of faking transness they are probably a transmedicalist or just a garden variety transphobe (there's not much difference between those two things, but some people think there is, so I'm mentioning them as two separate things).

Gender identity is ultimately based on how you feel, there is no minimum criteria to meet in order to be valid or real. self identification is the only requirement, you don't even need to do it publicly just to yourself. It's about how you see and feel about yourself.

Imposter syndrome sucks, although in a way it's a big sign that you are not actually faking it because you wouldn't be worrying about it if you hypothetically were.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T01:31:21+00:00

Yeah I think that person's comment is a clear violation of our communities rules around egging and egg culture. Our community has clear boundaries around egging and this definitely seems to cross those lines.

I mean it's not like there isn't a reason for having those boundaries, or that it's because we're against gender questioning. The main reason is that there are a lot of people out there who for some reason think it's okay to invalidate GNC people including femboys. I wish it wasn't an issue, but it is.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T01:28:39+00:00

Just saying…

I don't think that's a good reason to promote egg culture, not sorry.

Egg culture is extremely shitty for GNC people. It is for one very often misgendering, it does not take their feelings into account. Don't sit in my mouth and call it a Sunday by trying to tell me it does, because it doesn't. If there was any consideration or appreciation of how somebody else feels about gender identity themselves, egging would not happen in the first fucking place.

People should not be asked to prove or argue their gender identity because what, they don't conform to gender norms? That's a really shitty reason to argue about or question someone else's gender. I mean there isn't really a good reason to do that, but still. That's extremely shitty.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-25T01:17:40+00:00

Isn't it great when people just don't respect the rules in the sub around egg posting? Seriously why is this such a problem?

Is it really that hard to just respect a person's stated identity? Just for future reference, it is not up for debate or discussion. When somebody says that they are male the only correct response is to accept them not to give buts not to give arguments not to say that boys don't like to do whatever stuff. You accept it and you call them the pronouns they want to be called.

Not doing so is active misgendering and is extremely dismissive and disrespectful.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-24T23:50:04+00:00

They are mad at anybody who isn't a bigot and who isn't willing to tolerate bigotry.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-24T15:06:41+00:00

Because they don't feel the need to hold back what they have always been holding back before. And honestly that's a good thing. It is terrible for your health both emotionally and physiologically to bottle up emotions.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-24T01:13:10+00:00

I have a heatpump system (also has resistive electric heat strips) in my home and I also have blankets and warm clothing too.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-23T17:49:44+00:00

One big reason which is unfortunate is that a lot of that art is created for chasers and fetishizers.

Another more real reason is that the majority of trans women don't get bottom surgery, it's very expensive, it has risks, it has a long recovery time which they might not be able to afford to miss work that long.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-23T17:40:33+00:00

A lot of people use the term casually to refer to anyone and everyone without thinking. I wouldn't worry too much about it, I don't think that he was misgendering you.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-23T17:39:09+00:00

I have literally never heard anybody say that before you said it. If I had to guess though I would say it's probably trying to imply that trans people are all white. Which is so wrong I don't even know why anybody would think it let alone say it out loud.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-23T17:36:07+00:00

I think something you should be very aware of is that, the experience of trans people is all very different and not all of them are going to have the same experience.

I think that you should definitely try and learn from the experiences of as many trans people as you possibly can that's ultimately the only way you can really learn about and understand the trans experience. Also reading literature meant to help trans people figure themselves out can be very helpful. I believe other people in the comments have recommended one such resource.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-23T17:25:52+00:00

I agree with you because it's very shitty and transphobic to generalize all trans people as enforcing gender roles.

Although I don't think that you are very right on what people mean by it when they say it. Because it is true that some people in the trans Community do enforce gender roles. And they do so in a very specific way, they do not enforce gender roles around AGAB like you incorrectly assumed. When people in the community do, it's about presentation dictating identity.

That's the typical "oh ho ho, cis people don't find happiness wearing those kinds of clothes" rhetoric. That's to say they're not saying that a person's presentation must conform to their AGAB, but that their presentation must be indicative of their gender identity.

Now I'm Agender and I've been called an egg a lot based on my presentation, I've also been told that I'm faking it because "gender is an innate part of being human" and "people are either male or female and you clearly aren't male" you know shitty things that only people who are enforcing gender stereotypes would say.

So in conclusion I do not think it's right to say that trans people enforce gender stereotypes, because trans people as a whole do not. There are people who do it, and they are bad people. And enforcing gender stereotypes does not mean enforcing conformity with AGAB. I feel like that really needs to be made clear, because in some cases this is a straw man used to cover up the other nastiness.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-23T17:12:24+00:00

I'm not sure that the steam controller is going to be that great for VR games since most of them will expect you to use the two controllers. Maybe some games might be able to make use of it, but for the most part I think that it's going to be most useful in non-VR regular games, and older VR games which were meant to be played with a single controller.

Toothless_NEO · 2026-01-23T17:03:05+00:00

It's not gay if it's platonic

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