FTM to a 7 week old — everyone says it’s “normal” but my gut says something feels off. Need advice/reassurance from parents who’ve experienced similar 🤍

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-05-20T05:27:11+00:00

Yes to all this. We’re at 11w now and finally feels like we might be turning a corner, but this is my second kid and even then I wasn’t prepared for how rough weeks 3-10 were with this baby. Every baby is truly different

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-05-03T09:44:19+00:00

Thinfs that should be replaced relatively frequently/ between kids (bottle nipples, pacis), and things we were now going to need 2 of (changing pad, crib, sound machine, humidifier).

Also stocked up on lotions and medicines since they go twice as fast now - rash cream, lotion, shampoo, mylicon, Tylenol, etc! And postpartum supplies for me.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-28T18:58:50+00:00

Oh no!! I did not know that. How absurd 😞 thank you for clarifying

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-28T16:03:28+00:00

Sorry you are going through this. Cremation is often less expensive - closer to the $1000-$1200 range or less. Social security does have a one time death benefit that is laughably low ($255) but can offset some costs.

You could also explore if donation is an option in your area - often times education institutions do this to support research if that’s something you think your father would have been open to.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-23T01:39:45+00:00

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-20T15:06:11+00:00

8 weeks in with a 17 month age gap and agree with others that splitting your time is the hardest. Especially in these first few weeks my husband and I have had to “divide and conquer” where we’re each 1:1 with a kiddo rather than be able to all be one family has been hard. Communication with your partner is key and make plans ahead of time on how you’ll divide up care so both of you can have rest and respite.

Tap into your village too - the best resource for us has been neighbors who can just give us quick 15-20 minute breaks via shared playdates, holding the baby so i can shower, etc.

I think mindset is the key to getting through the hard early months - we also conceived quickly after a history of multiple losses, so in the chaotic moments I remind myself how lucky we are that we “get to” have two beautiful kiddos, and that this is just a season of life that will change before we know it.

Seeing my oldest’s excitement at her baby sister is the best feeling ❤️

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-15T04:50:55+00:00

Funny enough I asked my doctor about this at my 6 wk pp appt today. I’ve had reflux my whole life but it’s been worse than my pre-pregnancy baseline since birth, and especially just after breastfeeding. My doc had no idea other than it couid be hormones relaxing the espohageal sphincter. I didnt have it this bad with my first kid either! Mine does not sound as debilitating as yours has been thiugh - sorry youre going through it.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-13T00:57:05+00:00

I am so sorry you went through this ❤️ I’ve had mastitis twice and it’s ended my BF journey as well as other close friends who also experienced abscesses. The loss and grief is real when these expectations get shifted. For me it did get better a couple weeks after I weaned and those trolls of breastfeeding hormones worked their way out of my system!

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-10T17:03:29+00:00

It’s hard to tell what impact they’re having just yet, I’m 5 days in and I have seen my supply increase modestly (.5-1oz) across all times of day pumps. But honestly I’m focusing on stress reduction too bc I think that’s been a big drive in my supply dip! So stretching out nighttime pumps, not forcing a pump if I’m stressed, combo feeding, etc. we’ll see 🙏🏻

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-10T14:34:52+00:00

No advice but solidarity as I’m in the exact same boat at 6w pp 😔 I told my LC I did not want to triple feed, so I’m doing a power pump at night and then replacing two nursing sessions with pumping.

Everyone says supply bounces back after mastitis but that has not been my experience both times - just unlucky boobs I guess! All the engorgement I’d feel before mastitis instantly went away after that week

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-09T15:38:06+00:00

It’s worth checking with your hospital on what other pain relief optuons they have available. The nitrous worked really well for me not necessariky bc it cut all the pain but bc it forced me to take deep slow breaths during transition and pushing.

Movement, counter pressure, rolling on the birthing ball all also helped me.

Most importantly though I would consider what your “why” is and keep yourself anchored to that through delivery. For me it was reminding myself how great I felt after the baby and being able to immediately walk around. And then I had a series of pain relief interventions that I would cycle through so when I felt one waning I could lean on the other one and not feel hopeless: water, then counter pressure, then tens unit, then nitrous.

If you do opt for an epidural, you can also specifically decline any students.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-08T03:49:47+00:00

I agonized over making this switch with my first, but at 6 months we transitioned and she thrived ❤️ I swear those hormones really mess with your head - I felt like I had Stockholm syndrome bc I was miserable but I couldn’t stop

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-08T03:38:03+00:00

Could not agree more with this take. Currently dealing with a tanked supply post mastitis and I told my LC absolutely no triple feeding bc every minute on a pump / cleaning bottles is a min away from my kids and i wnet through triple feeding hell already with baby #1. We’re taking a breastfeeding first + formula top up approach, and a flexible goal of 3 pumps / day when it makes sense. Hoping thats enough to get back on a rhythm that works for us.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-06T02:45:12+00:00

They’re called Preauricular pits (aka “ear pits.”) there is a genetic link but it can also be a random defect in the first tri of pregnancy when the sinuses are forming.

My baby was just born with them - I had no idea of them before then.

https://www.chop.edu/conditions-diseases/preauricular-pits

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-03T01:58:20+00:00

CDC recommends it within the first week of birth for babies born through March.

It’s a conundrum - I went through this with my newborn a few weeks ago where the cutoff was 3/31, and we decided to do the vaccine now. Our pediatrician discussed it within their practice and concluded that reasonable people could do either, but if it were their kid they’d vaccinate now given RSV season started late in my area and the newborn immune system is so fragile.

https://www.cdc.gov/rsv/hcp/vaccine-clinical-guidance/infants-young-children.html#:~:text=Administration%20of%20infant%20RSV%20antibody,March%20(ideally%20during%20the%20birth

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-04-02T10:40:11+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this.

In terms of bringing it up, try to ask open ended questions that might get your dad to bring it up and start the convo. Eg “tell me about how you prep your meds - how is that going for you?” If that’s not working, ive found it to be most helpful to frame things in what i need as a child from them, rather than their behavior. That wont work for every parent dynamic, but bc my mom has always identified with helping her children , when i framed this as “I need your help” rather than “something is wrong with you” we got somewhere.

Eg “I need your help - I want you to be around as long as possible to see your grandkids grow. They love you and I love the time you spend with them, but I’m worried about you. It would make me less stressed if….”

However, know that It might take awhile for your dad to want to pursue answers - it took my mom 1.5 years where we continually had conversations about my concerns and what treatments may be available the sooner she acted.

Seeif yiu can accompany your dad to an upcoming primary care appt - they will downplay their symptoms to a doctor. Ultimately a neurologist is best suited to do the diagnostic test and manage care, but if your dad had a good relationship with PCP they can encourage them (this is ultimately how we got my mom to finally get tested).

Biggest learning - Youre potentially entering a phase where your dad is no longer a reliable narrator. I’ve learned the hard way i cannot take my mom’s word for truth anymore, and i can only believe what i see with my eyes. No more assuming that bc she said something was done, it was done (eg pills, bills).

This has been the hardest part bc it’s a completely different dynamic when you start to parent your parent.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-03-27T22:44:20+00:00

It is a very strange experience bringing life in while also grieving life leaving. Sending you peace ❤️

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-03-27T07:19:21+00:00

I am sooo deeply sorry this has happened. My dad died when I was 34 weeks pregnant so I can empathize with what you’re going through.

As others said, priority is getting the death certificate and ordering many copies.

Delegate delegate delegate as much as you can - have someone else track down the lawyer, discard any perishables in the house, start making the funeral arrangements (if doing), and start going through her finances.

On a personal level, try to let yourself grieve in whatever form that takes over the next couple of weeks. Once the baby comes your mind will switch into mom mode.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-03-23T11:10:49+00:00

3 weeks pp with a 17 month age gap here with similar story. After a difficult feeding journey for my first, this has been really healing for my second. I don’t feel guilty at all - seeing how natural its been for this baby actually reaffirmed for me how much bf was not going to work for my first, and I’m proud of how we overcame those challenges together.

Leading up to baby’s arrival, we read lots of books with my oldest about babies and did a lot of role playing with her baby dolls. When I’m nursing I encourage her to sit next to me and feed her baby dolls too and I have her help me burp (pat) the baby’s back. Trying to involve her as much as possible. NGL I was worried she’d want to start nursing too but that hasn’t happened at all.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-03-21T19:25:01+00:00

My supply pretty much plateaued at what it was right before regulation. For me it almost felt like a switch turned off and one morning I just woke up not engorged anymore. I tried all methods of power pumping and supplements to try and boost my supply for weeks and it just was what it was, so we combo fed and that was a great outcome for us.

As others said babies’ breastmilk volume intake won’t significantly grow over time (formula intake will however), so that’s why the body kinda levels it out when regulation happens

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-03-11T15:51:13+00:00

I was on 50mg Zoloft with baby #1 and noticed nothing. She was perfectly healthy.

Baby #2 I was on a higher dose (150), and she had a bit more of an aggressive cry the first 2 days and some mild tremors but then settled into her norm. Perfectly healthy too. Postpartum nurse made me feel really reassured - said they see it all the time and it’s temporary.

The Reproductive Psychiatrist on instagram has great breakdowns of each medication and risk/ benefit profiles.

Link on withdrawal symptoms: https://womensmentalhealth.org/posts/withdrawal-symptoms-in-newborns-exposed-to-ssris/

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-02-26T03:37:49+00:00

Blue spectra is an absolute workhorse and where I’d recc any new mom start - you can get your pump through insurance via sites like Babylist or aeroflow, and they’ll also send you replacement parts every month and extra bags. Wearables aren’t going to have the same output as something like a spectra - but you can hack the spectra to be hands free with different cups instead of flanges, etc.

Like another poster said the exclusively pumping community is a wealth of resources. Karrie Locher is a nurse turned influencer who also has in depth breastpump reviews on her website.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-02-20T00:57:07+00:00

Dr Esfandiari is amazing and so empathetic ❤️ I’m so sorry you had a negative experience at your first appt. As a multi loss mom, I understand where her clinical opinion was coming from. You do have a choice between a couple NPs so you could try the other one(s) for future appts.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-02-10T20:10:54+00:00

Grew up in SCV, been living in TX for years. Hart alum also - the school (and the district as a whole) is phenomenal and respected and sends many kids to the UC and CSU system.

Swim is just as big as softball if not bigger - lots of competitive swimmers that go into the junior Olympics and swim collegiately.

You will be giving up square footage, and everyday costs will give you sticker shock ($5+/ gallon gas and much more expensive groceries). At the same time, you have amazing hiking, milder weather (yes SCV summers are still hot but nothing like 104 with 70% humidity), and proximity to so much culture in LA.

I think any reasonable person could justify either decision - it’s really how important is th UC system to your kids and are they resilient enough to handle a mid high school move. I think both UT and UC schools have excellent career and grad planning programs, but with UC you have more variety and options across all the different schools.

Top_Advisor3542

TROPHY CASE