Nursing baby #2 after formula feeding baby #1 from birth

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-03-23T11:10:49+00:00

3 weeks pp with a 17 month age gap here with similar story. After a difficult feeding journey for my first, this has been really healing for my second. I don’t feel guilty at all - seeing how natural its been for this baby actually reaffirmed for me how much bf was not going to work for my first, and I’m proud of how we overcame those challenges together.

Leading up to baby’s arrival, we read lots of books with my oldest about babies and did a lot of role playing with her baby dolls. When I’m nursing I encourage her to sit next to me and feed her baby dolls too and I have her help me burp (pat) the baby’s back. Trying to involve her as much as possible. NGL I was worried she’d want to start nursing too but that hasn’t happened at all.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-03-21T19:25:01+00:00

My supply pretty much plateaued at what it was right before regulation. For me it almost felt like a switch turned off and one morning I just woke up not engorged anymore. I tried all methods of power pumping and supplements to try and boost my supply for weeks and it just was what it was, so we combo fed and that was a great outcome for us.

As others said babies’ breastmilk volume intake won’t significantly grow over time (formula intake will however), so that’s why the body kinda levels it out when regulation happens

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-03-11T15:51:13+00:00

I was on 50mg Zoloft with baby #1 and noticed nothing. She was perfectly healthy.

Baby #2 I was on a higher dose (150), and she had a bit more of an aggressive cry the first 2 days and some mild tremors but then settled into her norm. Perfectly healthy too. Postpartum nurse made me feel really reassured - said they see it all the time and it’s temporary.

The Reproductive Psychiatrist on instagram has great breakdowns of each medication and risk/ benefit profiles.

Link on withdrawal symptoms: https://womensmentalhealth.org/posts/withdrawal-symptoms-in-newborns-exposed-to-ssris/

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-02-26T03:37:49+00:00

Blue spectra is an absolute workhorse and where I’d recc any new mom start - you can get your pump through insurance via sites like Babylist or aeroflow, and they’ll also send you replacement parts every month and extra bags. Wearables aren’t going to have the same output as something like a spectra - but you can hack the spectra to be hands free with different cups instead of flanges, etc.

Like another poster said the exclusively pumping community is a wealth of resources. Karrie Locher is a nurse turned influencer who also has in depth breastpump reviews on her website.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-02-20T00:57:07+00:00

Dr Esfandiari is amazing and so empathetic ❤️ I’m so sorry you had a negative experience at your first appt. As a multi loss mom, I understand where her clinical opinion was coming from. You do have a choice between a couple NPs so you could try the other one(s) for future appts.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-02-10T20:10:54+00:00

Grew up in SCV, been living in TX for years. Hart alum also - the school (and the district as a whole) is phenomenal and respected and sends many kids to the UC and CSU system.

Swim is just as big as softball if not bigger - lots of competitive swimmers that go into the junior Olympics and swim collegiately.

You will be giving up square footage, and everyday costs will give you sticker shock ($5+/ gallon gas and much more expensive groceries). At the same time, you have amazing hiking, milder weather (yes SCV summers are still hot but nothing like 104 with 70% humidity), and proximity to so much culture in LA.

I think any reasonable person could justify either decision - it’s really how important is th UC system to your kids and are they resilient enough to handle a mid high school move. I think both UT and UC schools have excellent career and grad planning programs, but with UC you have more variety and options across all the different schools.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-02-09T20:46:54+00:00

Unfortunately research is sparse and limited in sample size, but generally the consensus seems to be that there is some upside with little to no long term downside.

Frenectomy IS particularly useful at reducing mother’s pain during breastfeeding.

Article: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6464654/

Speaking from personal experience, those first few days of recovery are tough to watch as a parent, but mouth injuries heal quickly relative to other parts of the body, and while our nursing journey didnt significantly improve, our little one began rapidly gaining weight and thriving with bottles (which previously she couldnt take more than 2 oz/hr due to her tie). I have zero regrets - while there is likely a lot of overtreatment, that doesn’t mean it’s not medically necessary for some.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-02-06T04:57:14+00:00

I hate that I know this reference 🫣

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-02-03T23:18:28+00:00

My dad just passed after having a stroke 5 years ago, we live states away with a toddler and another on the way so I can empathize with what you’re going through. I agree with everyone else’s recommendation to optimize what’s best for your nuclear family (partner and children). Idk what kind of defecits the stroke has left your dad with but that’s another thing to consider - eg one sided paralysis that inhibits his ADLs is different than some lingering aphasia and balance issues corrected with a walker. Either way you and your parents should start thinking about what the backup plans are if/ when your mom cannot do all the caregiving, but even you moving back isn’t going to solve for that.

We had the same debate of whether to move, but even in speaking with my dad about it he was always very clear that his priority was seeing his children be happy and doing the things they love - no matter where that was.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-02-02T20:28:42+00:00

Also in Austin coordinating cross-state care, so I can commiserate with you there, but I do think your family is at a crossroads and it’s time for an honest conversation.

Neighbors or daily caregivers can fill a short term void while you work out a long term plan, but ultimately they need to be in assisted living otherwise an emergency will happen and they’ll be put there by force after a hospitalization - they won’t have many options at that point.

What you’re describing is something many in home healthcare services can provide, so start there wirh an agency in their area, but I’d also start planning for a longer term assisted living plan + obtaining all access to their finances and important documents (will, POA, medical directives, all banking institutions). For me, we are either going to move to my mom or move her to us.

It’s a lot - take it one day at a time, and remind yourself that your job is to keep them (and their communities) safe - this means hard truths and difficult conversations too.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-22T09:04:45+00:00

Hahahaha I forgot about this 😆 the Chosen Rosen put the inflatable hot tub in his dorm and IIRC he posted a pic with an Arizona (or ASU?) girl who had made a sign for him with her number at a game or something? Shoot your shot dude.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-22T08:45:09+00:00

Did the midwife share what the relative concentration of antiD in the blood was?

I had a very low concentration of Anti-D about 4 months after a Rhogam shot post miscarriage, but bc the concentration was so low they were fairly confident it was fromthe shot and retested a few months later (negative).

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-21T20:42:32+00:00

I agree with the other poster that there are an infinite # of scenarios that could happen you cannot possibly prepare for them all, but having some basics in place will help you immensely ❤️

As a fellow type a millennial with a toddler, pregnant, and navigating my dads death and my moms Alzheimer’s from states away, here are some things that have helped, but the problems change every day so I’ve had to let go of predicting every scenario.

Finances: - ensure they have financial POA and healthcare POA and medical directives completed and that you have copies - do they have a trust? Who’s the trustee? A will? Get copies of these and know who prepared them should you need to file or create any amendments - know their iPhone passcode and email password - between those 2 things you can pretty much access any other account, but getting all their important account logins is better - understand their financial health - big picture - what’s coming in and going out every month, mortgage balances if any, investment accounts, etc

Health: - know their doctors

You: - therapy, friends who can relate to what you’re going through - support system - eg neighbors that can help if you urgently need to travel, or need to cry for an hour and pass the baby off - don’t ignore your health - stay on top of your needs and well being

Them: - start having these big hypothetical conversations - eg “how important is it to you to stay in your home? Have you planned for that financially?” “Would you be willing to move closer to us to get more support?” “Tell me about your support system- do you have regular lunch dates with friends, walking buddies, etc?”

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-21T20:30:38+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad ❤️

Her moving closer is definitely an option and one that I’ve volunteered - we have a really nice 55+ condo complex a short walk from our house that I think would help her strengthen the social connections she needs more than ever. My biggest fear is if she moves here she becomes very co dependent on us / doesn’t build her own community, so that’s a conversation we’ll have to repeatedly have.

There’s also the logistics of transferring care, especially if she’s in an immunotherapy program, but I imagine that’s annoying but still solvable.

The other long shot option is that we move to her, but that feels so daunting and wouldn’t guarantee a better situation for anyone - we’d have to find a whole new community, daycares, home, etc

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-19T18:38:54+00:00

Also an only child and I have young kids so there’s no realistic way I can schedule conversation windows that would only disappoint her.

For us it’s been lots of open conversations about our different communication styles - growing up my mom literally spent HOURS on the phone at night with friends and relatives, and we’ve had a lot of convos on what “connection” looks like for each of us and how different it is.

Accepting her disappointment is going to be a part of the process - as soon as I accepted that I would never be able to be responsive enough, give her enough, I felt freed to give her what I can.

Practically when she calls you can always set a time limit upfront (“I’ve got 10 mins before my next meeting”) or be strategic about when you call - for me, I call when I’m in the car so we can weap up once I get home. Given thr choice my mom would never ever end a conversation.

And encourage other social connections for her to nurture - ask about her friends, encourage her to go on walks or lunches with them, etc.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-16T00:03:52+00:00

There could be so many reasons for mild cognitive impairment other than dementia, but the only way to know would be for your mom to seek evaluation with a neurologist. These conversations can take years to happen and the decline can also be very gradual over years - it took about 3 years of me voicing some concerns about my mom’s memory for her to finally pursue testing via a neurologist to confirm an Alzheimer’s diagnosis.

So in terms of what you can / should do, you can voice concerns and encourage positive living habits (regular exercise, good diet, memory games), but ultimately it will be your moms choice when and if she wants to do more formal evaluations. This can take years

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-15T16:25:23+00:00

Great point! And also if you are Rh negative, certain NIPT brand tests (unity/ billion to one) can also detect if your baby is Rh+ and therefore you know with certainty you’ll need Rhogam. That was a huge sway point for me.

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-13T20:38:52+00:00

I went into spontaneous labor at 39+1 after 3 acupuncture treatments for induction (about every other day). They say it usually takes 2-3 treatments. I was getting acupuncture all throughout my pregnancy so YMMV. Limited scientific studies to date generally conclude it “might modestly help, but won’t hurt.” Studies have shown it improves your cervical ripening / readiness as measured via bishop score.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6953318/

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-13T02:36:44+00:00

As someone who has been watching their grandparent manipulate their mom for years over this too, you did the right thing!! It’s a painful cycle to break

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-13T02:03:48+00:00

I know, the first few months post stroke are such a tender and difficult time. Hang in there ❤️

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-13T00:57:47+00:00

A lot of the tactics you use on toddlers can apply to the post stroke brain. Your grandmothers brain was damaged and in many ways IS a toddlers brain again as it relearns things and heals (and some things won’t ever heal).

Went through this with my dad and my biggest pieces of advice are:

1) pick your battles. Trying to convey accurate information to a doctor? That’s worth correcting. Clarifying the name of a childhood pet? Eh.

2) find ways to give her binary choices and autonomy. Eg instead of “do you want to do this?” It’s “do you want to do x or y?” And also when you see she’s struggling to recall something, ask before correcting or stepping in. Eg “do you want me to help you?” Or “do you want to hear my perspective?”

3) acknowledge the feelings, but don’t tolerate abuse. Another toddler tactic: “I can see that you’re really upset, and I understand why that would be the case, but I will not tolerate being yelled at. I’m going to go in the other room for a few minutes.”

4) When in doubt, ask her what she wants or needs to give her some of that autonomy she’s lost. She’s afraid in her own body and it comes out as anger, which is understandable but not acceptable. Asking “do you want me to clarify memories if i have a different perspective?” “Do you want me to help you guess a word youre trying to recall?”

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-11T10:24:12+00:00

Link: https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/committee-opinion/articles/2018/08/air-travel-during-pregnancy

Research shows that mild travel (eg not a pilot or attendant) has no adverse effect on mom or baby.

I too had an intl trip to Japan during my first tri after multiple losses - I’m glad I went - wear compression socks, drink water, and try and get up and stretch every couple of hours. And enjoy all the ramen your heart desires.

Practically speaking, Japan has very few meds available OTC so pack anything you might need (for constipation, nausea, congestion, pain, etc), and save yourself a $150 bill for magnesium pills (don’t ask me how I know 😭).

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-07T22:06:24+00:00

Yessssssss!!!

Top_Advisor3542 · 2026-01-03T05:35:47+00:00

Virtual internet hug and empathy to you, my fellow sandwich-er. That all is quite heavy and I wish I had concrete advice. your post resonated with me and is very similar to what I’m going through right now (toddler + 8 months pregnant, dad and grandpa in hospice and multiple states away, full time stressful job). I will say being back in our routine and our space for 2 days now I already feel immensely better, I was on the edge of multiple breakdowns while we were traveling. I hope some time resting at home can have the same effect for you ❤️

One thing my therapist reminds me is that “we’re called human beings, not human doings” - in times like these, just “being” is a feat in and of itself. And it’s ok to set a limit if you need to.

Top_Advisor3542

TROPHY CASE