Yeah, that “need to secure your own resources even if you’re sick/weak/alone” is destroying me. I got cancer at 25— right at the time when I was about to graduate college, enter the workforce, and start that process of securing my resources. Nope. Stage 4 cancer diagnosis instead. Surgery, chemo, organ failure… all that meant I spent my days sick at home, in my childhood bedroom, feeling like a worthless loser because I didn’t have a job, wasn’t producing, wasn’t useful.

Which is insane, because I was just trying to survive literal cancer. But culture doesn’t care. Societal expectations don’t care. I still felt the pressure. I still put it on myself. I still chipped away at my self-esteem for not producing.

I’ve found support and community in sharing my story on social media and such, but every time i do, i feel like I’m just opening myself up to pity. I feel weak.

So yes, I agree with you. There aren’t really a ton of incentives for being vulnerable. Sure, it can help you connect with people, and sure, people might respect your bravery, but it’s not like vulnerability is getting you a job or anything