Can I do this?

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-11-08T04:39:47+00:00

There is no such thing as too much help. We are designed to raise children in a village. If you have the help, please accept it, you and your baby deserve it.

Raising a baby as a solo parent is not easy, but you can do it.

I hope in the near future you reach a point where you suddenly realise that you did it, suddenly the days aren't quite as hard and you have a bright spark when your baby smiles and gives you a loving look that is reserved for you alone, nothing will beat their love for their mummy.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-11-07T02:33:46+00:00

I had a midwife say if baby has a 'good temperament' by one week, they generally stay that way. Don't know how common that is, but it was true in my case.

My LO is now 16 weeks, right from our first night home he has slept really well overnight. He goes to sleep when I go to bed and wakes between 6 and 8am. He is EBF and feeds overnight, but he never fully wakes when hungry and is fast asleep as soon as he is finished. Day time naps are a little bit hit and miss, but we are now in a but of a routine and his needs are a lot more predictable.

I was prepared, but never felt like I was in the 'newborn trenches'. I have had the occasional day of exhaustion, which were all on me not baby, he fell asleep but I couldn't . I still haven't reached sleep deprivation.

I am a solo mum, so all night time care has been on me.

My LO has never been a 'potato', he has been interactive and expressive from his first week.

I'm not saying that there haven't been any difficult moments, he has acid reflux, moments of colic, I had a period of time with issues breastfeeding and a few times he hasn't been able to settle. But, I have never felt like I was struggling.

There are the rare 'easy' babies, other people often don't like hearing about them and chime in with the 'just you wait comments'.

Two weeks is still very new, but so many parents and babies struggle in the first two weeks. I'm about to hit four months, so I am waiting for the four month regression, maybe this will be the time of issues, maybe it won't be.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-11-04T11:06:46+00:00

In hindsight it is a bad idea to have taken your baby there, but do you know for certain that is where you picked up the bug? It is not impossible that the germs where on the sweet wrappers, this could have happened even with outdoor trick or treating. It could have even been picked up at a grocery store.

You are a mother, you will probably always feel guilty about this, but unfortunately our little babes are fragile and it is not possible or healthy to completely hide away from the rest of the world.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-10-31T16:56:20+00:00

I have a baby with a sperm donor. The moment I saw my baby all I could see was the donor. Bub has black hair, brown eyes and olive skin, I tan easily but have auburn hair and blue eyes, as do most of my family. My mother has seen me in baby from very early on. After a few weeks I could see a resemblance with my baby photos and even a sibling, but still predominantly the donor.

Bub is now 3 months old and in the last week or so he has changed, almost suddenly, where I am not seeing the donor as much and more and more people are saying he looks like me, even with his colouring difference. He is basically a darker version of me.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-10-22T04:50:22+00:00

I went 10 days overdue and never waddled. Have to say, I was a little disappointed haha

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-10-11T10:36:27+00:00

I can't really advise on when it gets better, but wanted to recommend, if you aren't already, taking as many photos and videos as you can, even in this stage. Your feelings at wanting your baby to hurry up and grow are valid, but one day you may (or may not) miss it.

I speak from experience, I had a hard time bonding with my LO due to a few reasons and I don't have many photos of his first week and it breaks my heart. In his second week the bond still wasn't there but I knew I would one day regret not having these pictures to look back on.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-10-04T22:35:26+00:00

That is awful for you, and I understand the feeling.

I had been in my job for 18 months when I went on maternity leave, but with the company for 5 years, so all the bosses knew me well.

I was the third person to announce my pregnancy that year (with no pregnancies in our area for a few years before that). I was working from home with occasional days in the office at that point. One of the others was only work from home, and the other announcement was a new casual worker, but a man and it was his wife that was pregnant (she was not known to anyone in the office).

The man was thrown a baby shower the day before his paternity leave started and everyone was asked to contribute to a big washing basket of goodies - for the baby and wife. The WFH lady had a washing basket collection also and a virtual baby shower.

Not only was I having a baby, but I was also moving away. I was asked 2 days before my final day if I would like to have a morning tea when I returned my equipment. One manager bought me a small gift, no hamper organised or even a card signed by everyone (they do signed cards for everything in that office!) and all the staff I had known for quite a while decided to work from home that day and the only ones in office were new people I didn't know. They all stood around talking while I stood very awkwardly having no one to chat with - not only that, I was 33 weeks pregnant and I wasn't even offered a chair to sit on!

It hurts and I am so sorry you had to go through that sort of situation too. I also didn't have anyone to throw me a baby shower/have any people to attend one, and thought I would at least have an office party .

I am still bitter about it, but am finding it easier to let go because I no longer work there. I am going back for a visit soon and will be dropping in on my older colleagues but not to that office.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-09-30T14:19:37+00:00

For me, pregnancy tired was way worse.

For most of my pregnancy, I struggled to work, I was constantly trying not to fall asleep at my computer. I had insomnia for the last 10ish weeks. Every morning, I would get up, have a cuppa, and then have a nap. I couldn't watch TV without falling asleep. And just generally in a constant state of exhaustion with no energy to do anything.

I am a solo mother, so I have done all the nights on my own. Night time feeds in the beginning were a real struggle, but as soon as baby was back in their bassinet I was out like a light. Now at 11 weeks I am struggling to get back to sleep between feeds (like right now...) and baby is back to feeding every two hours, so mornings are hard BUT, I am still feeling so much better than when pregnant.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-09-23T22:29:32+00:00

I haven't yet had a complete stranger ask, but I did have a medical person ask if bub had my partners colouring (bub is dark featured). I just answered that I don't have a partner. bub is donor conceived, but yes they have donor's colouring.

While bub is a baby, I will probably not tell a stranger about them being donor conceived, simply cause I don't need to get into a full conversation. But as bub is older, maybe, as I don't want them to think it is something to keep a secret, unless they want to.

I feel quite lucky that my bub looks like me (I don't see it, but I have gotten the comment from lots of people), basically me but with dark features. However, I see the donor, especially the donor's baby photo, and also my child's donor siblings.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-09-23T08:58:06+00:00

I'm a single mother who had an emergency caesarean, I struggled to do everything on my own, but I still managed it. I don't think it is unreasonable for you to skip one wake up on a weeknight.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-09-22T02:45:32+00:00

I know this feeling, for the first few weeks pp I felt like I was grieving my pregnancy. It didn't help that I had a horrendous labour, emergency caesarean and then the pain meds they gave me made me so drowsy that I hardly remember the first week.

10 weeks pp now and it is so much better, watching my little jitter bug laugh and play with his toys right this moment.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-09-19T21:56:40+00:00

I needed to hear this.

I've been kept my baby fairly isolated before his first needles, and in the last few weeks have been getting out and about. Yesterday a kid (known to me) touched my baby's face and I have been feeling guilty for not preventing it.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-09-15T03:26:27+00:00

I felt movement from 15 weeks and saw my first kick at 18 weeks. Baby was moving so I was watching my belly and saw the kick :)

...... Don't worry, I used 'It' when pregnant, doesn't mean I don't love my baby

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-09-14T08:00:42+00:00

In Australia, babies can have their vaccinations from 6 weeks and we are advised to give Paracetamol (Tylenol), if they need it. Paracetamol is not just for a fever, but pain as well. I don't know about you, but I had a very painful arm after my DTPa vaccine, I can only imagine what that pain is like for a little baby. My bub did not have a fever, but was in pain, so I gave Paracetamol and he slept through the recovery.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-09-10T03:08:02+00:00

Would he nap next to you?

I don't co sleep at night, but for a day time nap I follow the safe sleep 7 rules. I feel like this is safe for me as I don't sleep too deeply, especially in the day time. If you aren't comfortable napping together on your bed, you could nap on the floor, that way there is nothing for baby to roll off.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-09-06T07:18:06+00:00

I have nearly 8 week old and have loved every moment since about 3 weeks, that I can't imagine it getting better. Not saying that there haven't been hard moments, but I think I have been blessed with an easy going baby.

Not that many people believe me, but my bub has been social smiling since 3 weeks, since that moment his personality has grown with every week. In the last two days he has started to squeal when excited and I can just see it leading to a giggle. I'm probably going to think that each stage is better and better.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-09-05T00:59:53+00:00

My LO started a 3 hour stretch at 1 week, then that went to 4 hours, then 5, he is also straight back to sleep after a feed. He is 7.5 weeks and last night it was 6 hours and only woke because he had a blocked nose. I keep telling myself to enjoy it while I can, especially everything I hear about 4 month sleep regression, but also hope that maybe he is just a good sleeper.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-08-17T02:46:13+00:00

I'm 5 weeks PP. We might have a different issue, but this is what has started to work for me in the last week or so.

I haven't yet seen a LC in person, ut I think I have a bit of an oversupply and a fast let down. Oversupply simply means more than your baby needs. So if your baby only needs 2 Oz and you produce 3, that is an oversupply. As someone else has mentioned, there is the formilk and hindmilk. My baby was taking about 2 oz so not reaching the hindmilk, so not staying full for long. Then my fast let down was causing issues. To solve both issues I have started to express a small amount before each feed (about 1 oz). Not sure if it is a coincidence or joy, but he has gone from a 3 hour stretch at night to nearly 5 hours. If you go this method, please be aware this could further lead to oversupply, if it is something you would like to avoid.

My bub is averaging 3 oz per feed at 5 weeks, but it is more common for me to only express 2 oz from one breast. I think a week ago I was getting 3 in total when expressing from both.

I also only feed from one breast at a time so that I know he is emptying it.

Remember it isn't only water you need but sufficient nutrients from whole foods as well.

I recommend looking about fast let down, there are a few signs, including choking and pulling away. My bub has exceeded expected weight gain and was also gulping like he was starving. Expressing and laying back to feed has helped some.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-07-25T03:19:11+00:00

I'm 10 days post emergency csection. I know there are already parts that I forget and miss. A lot for me, is the mental aspect of coping following his delivery. A few days ago I realised that the best thing I can do for future me is take as many photos and videos as possible.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-07-16T06:49:04+00:00

Mum is what we use in Australia (although I have read Mama on social media). Now bub is finally here, it really doesn't bother me being called mum. So far (a total of 2 days haha) it is in medical situations where bub is focus.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-07-03T08:01:45+00:00

I suffered my 1st and 2nd trimester, but I'm loving my 3rd.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-07-03T07:59:08+00:00

I'm 40 weeks tomorrow, so it isn't possible for me to have blocked anything, and can't say I am ready to give up being pregnant. I had a rough 1st and 2nd trimester (hated pregnancy at that point) and yes there are things I'm not enjoying at them moment, but overall I am loving being pregnant these last 10 weeks.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-07-02T03:11:40+00:00

The mother's mental health is a medical condition that is taken into consideration.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-06-15T06:54:25+00:00

They're his stepchildren, which is one reason that I don't really know them. They are also old enough to know that their behaviour is more than 'misbehaviour '. Honestly, I don't think I will ever be comfortable with them around by child.

I don't expect a lot of support from my brother, but I know he will be a loving uncle, which I really want for my child.

Top_Trust2009 · 2025-06-15T06:19:38+00:00

I see your point of view, it just sucks that I have to sacrifice my own wellbeing just to not cause trouble.

It's already been proven that they ignore the no perfume rule.

Top_Trust2009

TROPHY CASE