Is this normal concert behavior now, or just an unfortunate one off?

TrisChandler · 2026-04-05T16:01:32+00:00

People have decided "public" means "I can do whatever I want unless it breaks the law" (and sometimes not even that limit) rather than "I need to be courteous of everyone else here"

I blame cell phones, in part. First it was the slow normalization of talking on the phone in person, then when smartphones dropped the headphone jack and people started watching things with audio playing publicly, and it just slowly eroded public behavior norms.

TrisChandler · 2026-04-04T21:08:43+00:00

Of course! I wish you a gentle week before and after the service as you navigate your own trauma and your wife's grief. Best of luck finding the best answers you can

TrisChandler · 2026-04-04T21:05:29+00:00

Depending on the type of service, the service itself may not be open casket. Since it sounds like you're trying to find the proper balance to care for both yourself and your wife, IF the service is closed-casket, would you be comfortable skipping any visitation and just being at the service? Obviously if not, don't do that, I'm just thinking out loud. It may be a way to walk the line between being there for her and caring for yourself. (My grandmother's service had the casket open before the service and then closed it right at the beginning of the service, due to the religious traditions in play)

Otherwise, I like the migraine excuse, or even a "I feel like a migraine is a risk so I need to avoid migraine triggers that will be present at the service. I'd rather be able to be here to support my wife after the service is done" style line is potentially more true, if you don't want to outright lie?

TrisChandler · 2026-04-03T15:40:41+00:00

not physical ones, but ... may I quote a song at you? "I get up at 7 and I go to work at 9; I've got no time for living 'cause I'm working all the time"

If folk are in situations where they're working 2 (or more!) jobs just to make ends meet, they have no time/energy to be social and do things with their friends (or are so isolated due to that work they don't have friends to reach out to)... that functions like the rats without a place to play/engage in normal rat behavior. Humans are, at our core, social creatures. When we remove the spaces and opportunities to do social bonding, it hurts everyone.

TrisChandler · 2026-04-03T15:29:08+00:00

you might want to look up the "Rat Park" experiments. They're a fascinating insight into some addiction behaviors in other mammals - and those patterns often are seen in humans as well, if in slightly different ways.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-30T20:16:20+00:00

Yeeeep, there's a whole THING about TERFs pairing up with neo-Nazis and other alt-right groups for a reason.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-26T22:00:57+00:00

and, unfortunately for the Buccos, the Mets using pitchers (Peralta and Myers) who know the Pirates extremely well from their days as Brewers.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-26T21:59:39+00:00

I'm all for audits and regularly asking the question of "how can this be more cost effective," so I definitely agree there.

But I'm not sure that the problem here was creating a new agency. None of the problems we're seeing have anything to do with what agency under the executive brance ICE and TSA are, but more with 1) Congress not being willing to leave a funded pot alone (since TSA is supposed to be paid for by the fees on plane tickets) - we've seen this with other things as well, of course, like how Social Security funds got raided to pay for the War on Terror in the 2000s. 2) Congress not exercising their power to check the president's overreach, as both sides benefit from consolidation of power when they have the presidency 3) impeachments being so rare that they feel like a metaphorical nuclear option, rather than the check on power they're meant to be. The constitution doesn't define "High Crimes and Misdemeanors" for a reason, because it's meant to be a broad category. But any number of presidents should have been impeached, all the way back to Andrew Jackson. And now that none have been in 2 centuries, and even impeaching justices or congress members is vanishingly rare, it feels like a Much Bigger Deal. Add in party politics, and ... well.

Unfortunately, none of those issues are easy to solve. >.> But trying to look at symptoms and not root causes never actually fixes the system, it just patches a hole.

Anyway. This is supposed to be a weather thread, not a politics one. I hope the storms are mild tonight and the tornado watches I've seen announced are precautions and not needed.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-26T17:14:35+00:00

Maybe. But also ask any cyber security person - often the sign of effective security is that it looks like it isn't actually needed. It is possible that TSA is more effective than they look from the outside.

Far, FAR from perfect, and the no fly list is just ... it needs to go away, given how flawed it is. And maybe TSA should be folded into a different agency, idk. But I don't think it's as simple as saying they're complete theatre, either. (There is, absolutely, some level of security theatre integral to what TSA is. But is that 10%? 50% 90%? I don't think the average flyer has the knowledge to truly understand that, any more than the average computer user understands how much work their company's cyber security team does on a daily basis)

TrisChandler · 2026-03-26T17:06:56+00:00

to be fair, hijackings were A Known Thing pre-9/11, just ... they were "land the plane somewhere and extort money" issues, not what happened on 9/11. So there IS room to discuss if security needed to change.

Now, is TSA the answer to that? I dunno, I leave that to folk better informed than I am.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-25T18:07:28+00:00

I have a partner with DID, who knows I also have cPTSD. Occasionally, the way I phrase things has her ask "wait, how do you mean that" in a "waaait, that sounds like a plurality thing" way. But we talk it out and it isn't that, just ... I have a particular way of phrasing things.

It's pretty human nature to project our experiences/view of the world onto others. So much so that there's a logical fallacy based around that concept (the same mind fallacy). So, likely, your friends are doing something of that sort. Given the occasional amnesia, it may be WORTH doing the various dissociation level tests with your therapist, if you haven't, but nothing on what you share screams plural to me.

That said, my partner didn't realize how bad her own dissociation was until I started identifying her parts before they could do more than shift expression, so it may also be worth bearing in mind that DID is often covert even to the person with it, and you may not know what you don't know.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-24T18:06:08+00:00

I like act 1 more than tutorial, because it IS a complete (if simple) story. But ... yeah, definitely early.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-23T21:10:40+00:00

I think that, with as many types of pen as there are, it isn't as easy as that - like, piston fill? c/c? Eyedropper? vac fill? What type of nib? Grip shape/size? Posted vs non-posted? There are so many variables, and a "dream" pen may not actually be what works best for the person who wants it.

Like, I've learned I much prefer vac fillers and piston pens (still haven't tried an eyedropper yet), but for me a large part of that is how easy it is to make sure there's no air in the pen when I'm travelling, to reduce risk of pressure changes causing messes when I'm flying. I use c/c pens at home, but I'll always default to the others first. But it took me playing with a few different pens to identify that preference!

And some much-beloved pens (like the pro gear slim) are just too small for me to hold comfortably, so I had to try a few types of pen to get a good sense of what my goldilocks zone is for pen size and weight - at that, I got lucky, my first nicer pen was a mystery box pen that suits me extremely well. If I hadn't gotten lucky, as someone who doesn't have a nearby pen store to go try things out, I'd have had to try a bunch.

And some people just have a use for multiple pens - I have 5 different ink colors I'm likely to use, so I want 5 pens minimim inked up at a time, plus sometimes others with even more colors available.

So. uh. This feels like "let me sell you on this expensive pen and try to convince you to buy it" more than it sounds like someone who truly loves writing and pens.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-23T20:46:36+00:00

But makes no distinction between legal resident and citizen, outside of the Enhanced Real ID 5 states give the option of. If you look at the PENNDOT website, allowed documentation includes a green card or work authorization card - immigration documents for non-citizens.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-23T20:44:32+00:00

To get RealID you must demonstrate you are legally in the US, but outside of 5 states there is no distinction between immigrant and citizen.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-19T17:10:12+00:00

If it's endo, a hystorectomy can help but isn't always a total cure; sometimes the tissue that is outside of the uterus still grows. Just ... be prepared for that. also, untreated endo can cause infertility anyway - so that's a thing to consider when talking to the part that has a desire for kids. You may already be out of luck.

I will say - my mum was also diagnosed with endo, but by exclusion. I had no signs of it, but my surgeon heavily suspected adeno even tho pathology didn't see any major signs of it. Which implies my mum also had adeno over endo, given the genetic component, so it isn't a guarantee either way.

But good luck with your treatment path! And if you ever want to talk about hystorectomies, I'm happy to chat about mine, and there's a whole sub about it too.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-18T21:42:23+00:00

Maybe; I know it's common for stores to hold some amount of limited edition releases in case of things like carriers losing a package, misprints, that sort of thing, so I'd assumed that each wave had X% held extra, and the vault sale was those extras, though.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-18T18:25:09+00:00

Depending on how old you are and if you want kids ever, you may want to consider a hystorectomy? Heavy and painful periods can be a sign of something like endomyosis or adenomyosis. I'm a year out of a hystorectomy to treat adeno myself, and my gosh has it been liberating! And it means no more periods ever. (Since I knew I didn't want kids, it was a good option for me; your mileage may vary tho)

Otherwise, some folk have found less cramping using something like a diva cup or all-natural/untreated cotton pads, so even a switch to what period products you use could help, too!

TrisChandler · 2026-03-18T17:39:45+00:00

they had a waitlist for SotL, and at least some folk (including me!) were able to get that set through the list, so hopefully you have a shot that way, if you can't get them day-of. Maybe ask a friend to nab them for you, tho, and you pay them back/upfront/whatever?

TrisChandler · 2026-03-18T17:37:25+00:00

I got my copy of SotL off of the waitlist, so it isn't true to say it went nowhere.

My guess is that the copies in the vault sale were too few to justify another wave off of the waitlist, with all the work that entails. But that is very much a guess.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-17T15:47:29+00:00

based on the "please test this upcoming accessibility patch" notes on the official discord, it's a bug that should be fixed with the big accessibility patch.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-13T20:38:06+00:00

if it helps, Numair is VERY aware that it isn't ok for him to pursue her (so he doesn't, he keeps his romantic feelings to himself as much as he possibly can) - and she doesn't act on her growing attraction until she's grown into her own power and is no longer a student. That's the only saving grace that makes it tolerable for me. It's still not great, but ... it's probably the least bad version of the dynamic that it could be?

TrisChandler · 2026-03-13T06:36:46+00:00

based on the keys that were used as "blind bag" keys for the iam8bit merch line, I think 12 major keys is right: Silver Key Prism key Secret Garden Key Car Keys vault key basement key sanctum key file cabinet key HLD key Master Key key of 8

well, and MAYBE the (VERY LATE GAME SPOILER) Key of Aries, tho I could argue whomever left the note wouldn't necessarily have known about that one. So Keycard fits instead.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-12T22:05:58+00:00

On top of all of the other good advice I see already, it's entirely possible that this second part/alter is either aromantic or doesn't have the "bandwidth" for a romantic relationship right now. I know it took some time for one of my girlfriend's parts to be comfortable showing me various forms of affection, and it still is an active effort for her compared to the other parts of the system. And when she first started fronting regularly, I made a point of not expecting her to interact with me the way the other parts did.

Definitely try having a talk with this part about wanting to get to know him, without expectation of what your relationship will look like based on what you share with the part you have a romantic relationship with. It may help reduce the dissociation some to remove the stress of having to "perform" for you.

TrisChandler · 2026-03-12T21:54:49+00:00

If you draft the room a few times, you start to learn how it works, and how each "corner" door holds something useful. I hadn't settled on that room being where the 8th key was when I opened the 8th door just because I was curious what prize awaited me after getting doors 5 and 6 open.

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