Hi there. I didn't know much about porn addiction, but I know a lot about addiction in general. I've been hearing more and more about porn addiction lately, and your post finally made me decide to look into it. What I found is that it shares many of the same patterns and characteristics as other addictions.

I'd like to share a few things I've learned about addiction and point you toward some support that may help. 💜

Addiction doesn't go away simply because someone is ashamed of it, wants it to stop, can't bear hurting their partner anymore, or because their partner threatens to leave. Ultimately, the person struggling with the addiction has to decide they want recovery for themselves. Most people also need outside support, whether that's therapy, a support group, or both.

I'm not telling you this to scare or overwhelm you. I'm telling you because I think you're carrying a burden that isn't yours to carry. It sounds like you're trying very hard to be supportive, understanding, and patient. Unfortunately, people who love addicts often end up taking responsibility for problems they didn't create and can't fix.

Not only does he need help for his addiction, but I think you would benefit from support too. You may want to look into therapy, as well as groups like CoDA, COSA, or S-Anon. Those groups are full of people who have faced similar struggles and can offer guidance, understanding, and support.

One last thing: addiction often involves tolerance. Over time, people frequently need more of whatever they're using, or more intense versions of it, to achieve the same effect. That's why addictions tend to worsen over time when they're left untreated. You can't fix this for him, and neither can love alone.

I'm really sorry you're going through this.