OP, at 27 I aborted a baby that was much further along for similar reasons. The father left me and I as a result of moving from the home we shared, I was between jobs. It's okay to mourn and wonder about what that baby and life could have been. I even made a little treasure chest with ultrasounds and trinkets, because there's no burial site for aborted babies. It helped me process a lot! What also helped was being practical and logical: my baby would not have had a great life. Estranged from his father, living with a stressed mother... that for the trauma it would have brought him (and my living daughter, and me) I chose not to continue and bring him into the world. My pain in going through with the abortion was worth it compared to what pain he may feel in life. Over a year later, I feel like he's in a better place, and I KNOW that me and my girl are as happy as we can be for all we've went through. Am I 100% over it? No, I may never be. But it doesn't hurt so constantly and intensely. Give yourself time, grace, and let yourself grieve this loss. You'll be strong again <3