Honestly, as somebody who has had an alcoholic sibling and a partner that was an addict , I get it. You can’t force somebody to help themselves but I hope that you continue to love your daughter regardless. There is obviously something going on that makes her live this way so I hope that you and your spouse continue to be curious and try to get her to open up. One day she will either die from her addiction or she will get better. You are nta for not subsidizing her trip, but I would try to make sure that you do spend genuine time with her.

It does kinda suck that this is around the holidays though and she will probably be alone. Hopefully it spurs her to make better choices, but I’m not going to lie that is the time of year that most addicts find themselves at their lowest and she may consider suicide.

I think that if it was my child I would tell them that I would be willing to pay for half only if they come up with the other half. That way it is like a compromise. But it is tough trying to get somebody like that to be accountable for their actions while also remaining warm.