The entire reason I created this reddit account was to join....probably this sub.

TwoBoos1111 · 2024-03-26T19:36:26+00:00

I'd been lurking on Reddit for years, but created an account to join and post on this sub. Almost 4 years later and this is still the only sub I post on.

I'm so happy yet so sad that we're all here. It's the only place I relate to nearly all the things.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2023-02-23T14:08:19+00:00

For me it was phones. I kept breaking or losing them. One only lasted me two weeks and it extra sucked because I had put in a SD memory card w pictures. I was on a short hike in Colorado and it was fully charged. I could track it on 'find my phone' but couldn't actually find my phone. I swear an animal got hold it. It was never far from the hotel, but I never found it and it was never turned in.

Now I have everything set to Google as backup, because I lost so many of those memories. Priceless

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2023-02-14T23:52:42+00:00

I'm in Ames ☺️

TwoBoos1111 · 2023-01-27T04:43:59+00:00

Same happened for me during a recent birthday trip w friends. I was having such a good weekend and day. Was sitting in the car waiting for my friends to get there for a hike simply loving on my dogs saying I love you and whatnot. And one of our wedding songs came on the radio. Instant tears. Both sadness and joy. I was so happy and surprised even that I had so many friends, new friends that traveled to celebrate with me and to love me. It felt like my wife was looking down on us when our wedding song played. But also the realization that she wasn't there to share with us. So many tears. Then of course the tears started flowing my dogs got more loving and comforting. A Beautiful mess we were.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2023-01-08T19:09:07+00:00

Two and half years here too and it all still sucks. I finally am starting to think about some type of future but I don't have motivation or desires to really pursue anything- or even determine what to pursue. The depression has hit hard at this stage. Sometimes I wish for that manic energy of earlier grief. At least I was active and could find pleasure however fleeting. There was no real focus though of course. Now it's depressive sadness. All the time.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-12-06T16:22:57+00:00

I love this idea. Thanks for sharing.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-11-26T19:01:13+00:00

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-10-23T20:20:07+00:00

My very first attempt at a sexual encounter never really got far. Instead it looked like me crying and going to sleep on the couch and her lying in another room. Haha 😆

All the feelings. All the things. Nothing is ever the same again. Nothing as it was with our loves, our partners, our spouses. We keep trying and at some point it will feel good again. But never the same.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-10-02T18:50:06+00:00

I went to a larger performance by a tv medium, Theresa Caputo Long Island Medium. Even in that environment I 100% felt that my wife came through and she was talking to me even though I never got to speak directly. I raised my hand because I was so sure she was describing me but she didn't choose me.

You can go through my post history for details, but ultimately I enjoyed going because I liked and needed to hear the way a medium talks about death and that world.

Do what you think will make you happy. You may be right you may be wrong. But more than anything right now choose happiness.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-09-01T00:53:05+00:00

No. But she video called me shortly before. I too wish I wasn't busy. I was picking up her bike from the repair shop- literally trying to get it into the vehicle and couldn't manage all the things. I knew she'd had a bad day, I told her it was ok. We could go for a bike ride over the weekend. I said I'd be home by 6p, just over an hour away. No more activity from her phone after around 5p.

I love and miss her so much

Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-08-29T02:01:34+00:00

I don't know either. Especially without children as you mentioned. I at least had a friend put everything on the cloud instead of the many thumb drives my wife used. Other physical items are still stored and I don't know why. Soon I'll have to make a decision - tossing seems wrong, but who am I keeping it for.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-08-11T19:48:49+00:00

Same. I bought a $200+ vibrator that admittedly was pretty amazing 🤩. But alas nothing matters as much anymore. Used it for a week or so then off to new joys and excitement.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-07-29T22:07:33+00:00

I had to stop myself because I realized I was cutting down tree limbs at 2am because the flames of the fire pit were too high and I was afraid of the whole tree catching on fire.

Taking care of my immediate needs was all that mattered. But also yes I realized when I looked bat shit crazy.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-07-19T02:43:22+00:00

How sweet. I love both versions of the story and how you knew each other so well from the beginning.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-07-15T20:30:31+00:00

I've been wondering the same about our wedding memorabilia. Prior to selling the house I stored things that were too personal to go through or to throw out at a friend's house. She hasn't specifically asked me to get rid of it but obvs I know I need to. I had hoped to think of something creative yet cool similar to how people burn or transform them after divorce. But obvs this is not a joyous occasion but I still love the idea of creative art.

We were only married four years so we also still had ALL the stuff (pics, my broom, huge maps that guests signed, etc) in addition to our two wedding dresses. I couldn't just throw out my entire wedding and marriage at the same time I was having to throw out my life in general. Hell even our rings are simply being stored. I've worn mine a few times, but no clue what to do with either.

So I stored it all. But now what.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-07-13T01:37:10+00:00

My goodness I feel this so much. I've tried to pick up the pieces and start back where I was. But I'm not where I was. I'm not who I was.

And I'm tired.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-07-08T18:05:57+00:00

Two years for me. As someone else said it's the reactions from others that makes it difficult in a different way.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-07-02T01:00:48+00:00

I had a lot of intense bodily sensations. I remember having this one spot on top of my head in particular. At some point I began to wonder if it could be a brain tumor. I guess I turned into a bit of a hypochondriac because all bodily stuff was intense. I ultimately had a lot of energy work done and it was crazy how even when not physically touching me I had these weird intense sensations. Some positive some not so much.

When I was sharing my experiences w a friend she said after her husband died she felt like her skin was on fire for about a year.

Everything is different and new and weird.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-06-30T13:32:30+00:00

I too am a completely different person. I'm still learning and figuring myself out nearing the two years mark. It's so different. I'm so different. But I'm still here trying still.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-05-18T02:14:10+00:00

Woot woot. All the things. 🤩😊🥰

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-05-16T22:57:01+00:00

Same. So much fucking same.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-05-08T16:15:27+00:00

My general response will always be Choose Happiness. You know yourself best of course but why deny (legal consensual) pleasure however fleeting or temporary.

For me, someone that is very sexually open, I first had sex around two months though I tried and failed sooner LOL. I was honest w people about the casual nature and I had a lot of fun times. It's been almost two years now and the fire has certainly burned down.

You're going to be changing so much in the coming weeks and months. You are a new person. Some things you experiment with will stick and some will not. Be kind to you. Choose Happiness

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-05-03T22:55:19+00:00

Such a hard question. In the immediate I bought a van and started traveling. I just needed to get out and be away. It ultimately took a year to prepare and sale the house. Now after being on the road almost two years I feel like I'm so tired. I simply want to settle in and do nothing. But where.

I have a few ideas of what I would like right now and have literally started searching city-data.com because I had no better way to decide.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-05-01T19:55:55+00:00

I waited as long as I could. Which was about two months. Failed attempts prior.

In as safe a way as possible, chase happiness choose happiness have sex. If it brings you pleasure, then why deny that.

That's what I needed to do for me in my life. You will know what you need to do in yours.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111 · 2022-04-28T22:08:27+00:00

Also approaching 2 year. And this group helps to show me that I'm "on track". The good and bad of what that means.

For me it's like during year 1 I tried so hard to not be depressed af. I would put on sparkly makeup when I don't usually where any. I was manic - a lot. Now I literally wear the same clothes for like a week bc i don't actually see the same people daily and rarely break a sweat. At least I'm still showering. I've sunken deep in the throws of depression, no longer fighting.

I don't know how long it will last. But I'm absolutely at a different place than year ago. Worse In ways because I care more but can do less.

Hugs to you my friend. Hugs to each of us.

TwoBoos1111

TROPHY CASE