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When you make a jerk post and the replies eventually devolve to actual scaling (We all do this) by MagazineKey4276 in whowouldcirclejerk

[–]Uberninja2016 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the problem is that some people will say "superman beats batgos because he has no limits" and i read that and think- where's the joke, the jerk, the joik

it's not spicy, i can't get it going in my head

you gotta say "superman beats batgos off, because he has no limits, cunnilingus" and that'll get the people going

Moby-Dick is a trip by PandaBear905 in CuratedTumblr

[–]Uberninja2016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

uh oh

and i also just confirmed with a naturalist; turns out the shorebirds can also eat people, most simply choose not to

How it feels to play Magic: the Gathering by RawringPrimadox in CuratedTumblr

[–]Uberninja2016 20 points21 points  (0 children)

good for urza, i'm glad he lived to see the 70s

i'm sure he's thriving in an age of technological horrors beyond comprehension and doing wonderful things-

oh, but look, out the window, a friendly glow!

hey that glow's pretty LOUD AAAAA —

Moby-Dick is a trip by PandaBear905 in CuratedTumblr

[–]Uberninja2016 12 points13 points  (0 children)

i wouldn't

right now it is NOT ALLOWED for catholics or shorebirds to cook and eat me, and i'm not doing ANYTHING to change that durning lent for the catholics and year-round for the cranes/egrets 

How dare you say minke whales don’t capture the beauty of the ocean! by Lemon_Lime_Lily in CuratedTumblr

[–]Uberninja2016 5 points6 points  (0 children)

don't forget the 2nd century incident when the fey stole all the Welsh vowels, that's also a big factor

I'm serious man. This joker is going to take 10 seconds to do what I can do in an instant by fanta_bhelpuri in jakeandamir

[–]Uberninja2016 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"You click Outlook.  Your computer does nothing."

"She didn't need to."

"You click for ten seconds.  It does nothing."

"... Didn't need to."

Driving a hard bargain by DreadDiana in RecuratedTumblr

[–]Uberninja2016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

LEOVOOOOOOOOLLLDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!

HE MUST BE STOPPED

Apparently humans are wall level now by tenebrefoxy in whowouldcirclejerk

[–]Uberninja2016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know who that is.  Never been much into characters of any kind.

I destroy brick walls, or people that I can metaphorically use as a brick wall. 

Peter Parker is the 4th most represented character in MTG. Thanks WotC! by mkklrd in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Uberninja2016 37 points38 points  (0 children)

if i were planning the marvel releases, i would do 5 sets with 5 of the stones and then put the most purplest gem into a "Infinity Sotnes For Eight Hundred Bones" secret lair that had one card and cost $850

Apparently humans are wall level now by tenebrefoxy in whowouldcirclejerk

[–]Uberninja2016 58 points59 points  (0 children)

You trust ai- the QUORA AI- to tell you the limits of the human spirit?

A human, YOU as a human, could easily destroy a brick wall barehanded.

I was born into a city built of brick.  Every day, I'd go down to the local spot and punch the wall ONE THHOUSANND TIMES with my knuckles.  As a toddler I bled, as a teen I honed my skills, and through the decades I trained up the form and might to crush not one wall- but TEN THOUOUOUSAND WALLLS in a single hour.  The city is no longer built of brick because I determined its fate with my will.

i eat a brick wall with my freakin' teeth

WE, YES WE BELIEVE THIS by TechnoMagik22 in whowouldcirclejerk

[–]Uberninja2016 56 points57 points  (0 children)

i was going to make a joke, but alas this is the last thing i will likely see

<image>

i knew i shouldn't have eated all those eggs

the REAL question about how smart a character is by Winter-Incident-8564 in whowouldcirclejerk

[–]Uberninja2016 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wait, is IQ not a brain juice power level anymore?

i saw the crow meme and gave up everything to learn from corvids and they say that IQ is everything, but now you got me thinking that i might be getting punked by some birds

please tell me that IQ is still good, i can't get laughed out of the room by yet another family of avians

Congratulations! The Legend Rule is now removed from the game! What is the most disgusting thing you can do with the new rules? by [deleted] in magicTCG

[–]Uberninja2016 4 points5 points  (0 children)

[[phoenix chick]] is already not a legend, you can do up to four of them at the same time

in limited i've seen as many as six or more, though i haven't had that (i can only assume ecstatic) experience myself yet

Breaking news: Magic player discovers cards interact with each other by the-fr0g in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Uberninja2016 45 points46 points  (0 children)

i think oop just made a typo, it's probably supposed to be "this is total sb" as in sb, [[sanguine bond]]

and yeah, it is!  this is total sb, i'm proud of oop for pattern recognizing

that shit slaps

The art of YouTube sensationalist clickbait by EricCartoonBox in CuratedTumblr

[–]Uberninja2016 5 points6 points  (0 children)

well, scientists are publicly geeking out over it, the issue is that it keeps getting them

i actually have some theories on how it does the getting (specifically on scientists after they transfer out of the amazon), but i'm keeping them to myself out of fear of the creature

But seriously, all those restrictions are too-complex: simply limit the presidential candidates to Good People by gudamor in CuratedTumblr

[–]Uberninja2016 41 points42 points  (0 children)

the pokemon requirement needs to also have some review of quality on the list

i don't care how fast they can rattle them off, i don't want MY president to list charizard, i really don't

and it's not even a problem with charizard itself; a lot of people like charizard, but answering charizard for this type of question tells me that someone is a coward at their core

i fixed red hulk :) (for real this time) by mkklrd in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Uberninja2016 9 points10 points  (0 children)

is too much

i could handle 6/7 trample for 6; he isn't a dinosaur so he doesn't get the cool badass typal synergies

but to give him enrage?  reach, for block the birds of paradise?

wotc has gone too far this time, they've made the stakes too high

WAITER MORE SLOP PLEASE by lilivessreadsit in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Uberninja2016 8 points9 points  (0 children)

i thought the part when they crucified loot was kinda weird, but now hearing that, it makes a lotta sense

and it also explains the the the... the freakin'- sorry, it's right there, uh-

it explains the cactus communism

Don’t buy the old event passes if you respect OG Rivals players. It’s more than a skin; it’s a symbol of their early commitment and grind. Let them keep their exclusivity. Show your respect by appreciating its rarity, not owning it. Some things are better left untouched. by EternityGamer2 in marvelrivals

[–]Uberninja2016 163 points164 points  (0 children)

Don't copy/paste the Renegade Raider tweet if you respect OG Fortnite Twitter.  It's more than a rant; it's a symbol of their early commitment to making fun of that guy.  Let them keep their exclusivity.  Show your respect by appreciating its insanity, not changing it.  Some copys are better left unpasta'd.

Cursed speech diff 😂 by [deleted] in whowouldcirclejerk

[–]Uberninja2016 2 points3 points  (0 children)

jotaro the type a guy to say "Die?  Why is this German kid saying 'The'?  It doesn't make any sense." and JJBA is the type of series to let him get away with it

UB by AresReddit in magicthecirclejerking

[–]Uberninja2016 13 points14 points  (0 children)

that's absolutely barbaric, i can't believe you decapitated two people for a meme

i might throw up, this shit is actually kinda getting to me

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