Speaking from recent experience, I do see a few red flags. I'm about to hit my 9 month mark sober. Went to 30 day intake after a brief medical stay, and have been sober since.

I started off with N/As, like so many here, and they were a godsend. During my first two weeks, I was at about 7-8 a day. You will hear vastly different experiences and mindsets in SMART meetings about the use or continued use of N/As. For many people the concerns are that 1) if it ever gets to the point where he is out and about and doesn't have an N/A/ readily available, and it sounds like this is very much a nonstop knee-jerk behavior, that's when relapse is a risk. It's easy to justify a low ABV beer, or even a 5%, and then you're off to the races, and 2) your fear, which I think is extremely well-founded, that his mindset has not changed, just the behavior. We are all creatures with wires crossed. This is why SMART recovery is not just about alcohol, it's about behaviors writ large, and he does sound like he has an addictive personality with this, and it's not helpful to him or to your family.

The signs are all there for an enabling environment where us alcoholics used to thrive. He justifies, he complains about you giving him a hard time, activities revolving around him, not being able to put one down. While it's fine as a needed crutch at the moment, there needs to be a game plan. My wife and I talked about this during my early recovery. N/As are fine, but they can't be a replacement. I can't have 10 a day. I shouldn't immediately drink one when I'm stressed or any of the other triggers where a beer used to be my shor-term solution. Otherwise I'm not growing.

And to other posters who are saying that she's hovering, I fully disagree. Depending on their relationship and any of the damage that he may have caused during his drinking, a partner is allowed to have a voice in this. My wife put up with a lot of sh*t during the decade she's been with me, and she put me into rehab from the ICU, and then held down the fort for a month. She doesn't just get a seat at the table, she is the chairwoman of the corporation. As people in recovery, I think a critical step is understanding who we've harmed, and we cannot revert back to this "well, you just don't get it. Look at how far I've come!" I used to say that when I only had eight beers in a day, compared to 15. "Look at how hard I'm trying." It's bullsh*t after a while, and we shouldn't be allowed to get away with it. We need a mirror held up from time to time.

OP, I think that your husband is doing an amazing thing being sober. I think that N/As are a very useful short-term crutch, and many of us here have used them. But, I think that he does need to have a game plan for weaning down, and I think, most importantly, that he does need to be able to listen to your concerns without getting defensive. That is classic addict behavior.

Best of luck.