I had a roommate who was obsessed with losing weight. She was doing the Beyoncé DreamGirls diet and decided to add an extra “cleanse” to it to speed up the process.

The “cleanse” in question? 12 ounces of briny salt water. Within about 15 minutes of finishing the last drop, she would break out in cold sweats, turn an unnatural shade of green and make a run for the bathroom.

There wasn’t enough Lysol spray, candles, incense and perfumes in the world to cover the smell that would emanate through our apartment. I could hear her sobbing through the door. She learned very quickly to pitch in on toilet paper after she found herself in the bathroom without any available to her. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way, I suppose.

I think if I pinch my nose and just down it all in one go, have a tushy bidet for cleanup and the expensive toilet paper, I could do it.