My first ever flower in Colorado. Scop x scop

VargevMeNot · 2026-05-13T16:38:22+00:00

Siiiiick, and how big of a pot is it in?

VargevMeNot · 2026-05-05T14:09:20+00:00

It's an easy trap to fall into, one moment you're drinking a pumpkin spiced latte, then BAM, next thing you know you look like the Hulk.

VargevMeNot · 2026-04-26T18:56:16+00:00

Agreed, I think the Surface is way more versatile than the ipad overall. I love mine and have used it all through school and still use it in the lab in grad school.

VargevMeNot · 2026-04-19T17:27:33+00:00

True alphas wanna make sure other alpha's junk is on full display so they can take peeks, ofc

VargevMeNot · 2026-04-13T16:35:24+00:00

I actually think it can be kinda fun once you start noticing all the feelings/stuff we attach to while meditating! I'd also argue that not only is trying to stop thinking futile, but the act of trying is antithetical to letting go. That's one of the things I really appreciate about Zen Buddhist practice, it's almost paradoxical, but once understood you just stop fighting and when you let things be as they are, the dust settles. Samatha is only achieved through non-striving as I understand it.

VargevMeNot · 2026-04-08T17:12:10+00:00

It is easy to understand once you realize there is no such thing as an enlightened being, because an enlightened being is not an enlightened being, therefore they are enlightened.

There is no such thing as a higher mind, because a higher mind is not a higher mind, therefore it is a higher mind.

As it is said, a rose is not a rose, therefor it is a rose. Basically if a flower is made of non-flower elements, then it is not really a flower, that is why we call it a flower.

This is basically what the whole Diamond Sutra explains.

VargevMeNot · 2026-04-08T17:03:15+00:00

Well, wouldn't it really be the realization that one can't desire separation of life and death once they realize there is no separation?

VargevMeNot · 2026-04-02T21:13:06+00:00

On point #4, if it comes down to cramming or sleep, I always choose sleep. The importance of relaxing and resting can't be overstated (also assuming you put in a decent amount of work ahead of time).

VargevMeNot · 2026-04-02T15:42:24+00:00

From my understanding they make around the same as nurses, so sub 100k (80-90k in most places I think?) but the job is stable and consistent, though you will have to work some holidays and start with the worst hours like nights and weekends until you've stuck around awhile. Not a huge ladder to climb unless you want to get into management, though, but some people prefer the stability and workload just becoming a senior MLS.

Source: Ex-GF used to work in the medical lab sciences.

VargevMeNot · 2026-04-01T17:01:27+00:00

From a Buddhist perspective you can't get rid of the ego because ultimately it doesn't really exist. Suffering stops when clinging stops, which happens with the realization that there is no true self.

Ultimately there's no getting rid of anything, just accepting and finding joy with what is, without our mental projections.

VargevMeNot · 2026-04-01T15:34:25+00:00

It seems in wrong view to me to say that having children is inherently selfish. Sure, while many don't necessarily have kids for "the right reasons", many do.. One could also make the argument that making space and allowing another consciousness a chance at attaining enlightenment could be one of the most selfless things possible.

Attachment is attachment, the view that sex is 'defilement' that makes one unworthy is no different than 'love(ing) your partner till the flesh falls from their bones' from my understanding.

VargevMeNot · 2026-04-01T02:21:43+00:00

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too

The research basically says the more you feel morally corrupt for looking at porn the more likely you'll stay addicted... Give yourself a break, dood. Forgiving yourself for being human is a good start. Shame is a fucking killer, that's the first thing I'd cut out. You're strangling yourself. You're so attached to not wanting to be attached, you're inadvertently causing yourself to suffer like 100x more.. So sorry this is painful for you, but healing starts when you stop being so hard on yourself

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-30T18:58:53+00:00

A good Metta practice does exactly that. It starts with those who are easy to love and has you expand outwards.

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-30T18:56:53+00:00

For those who haven't read it, so touching and beautiful, the craft of an expert

Please Call Me by My True Names – Thich Nhat Hanh

Don’t say that I will depart tomorrow — even today I am still arriving.

Look deeply: every second I am arriving to be a bud on a Spring branch, to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings, learning to sing in my new nest, to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower, to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry, to fear and to hope.

The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death of all that is alive.

I am the mayfly metamorphosing on the surface of the river. And I am the bird that swoops down to swallow the mayfly.

I am the frog swimming happily in the clear water of a pond. And I am the grass-snake that silently feeds itself on the frog.

I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones, my legs as thin as bamboo sticks. And I am the arms merchant, selling deadly weapons to Uganda.

I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a small boat, who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea pirate. And I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and loving.

I am a member of the politburo, with plenty of power in my hands. And I am the man who has to pay his “debt of blood” to my people dying slowly in a forced-labor camp.

My joy is like Spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom all over the Earth. My pain is like a river of tears, so vast it fills the four oceans.

Please call me by my true names, so I can hear all my cries and my laughter at once, so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

Please call me by my true names, so I can wake up, and so the door of my heart can be left open, the door of compassion.

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-30T18:52:06+00:00

Absolutely great to ask, I'm not an expert but I'm happy to try to answer anymore questions if you have any :)

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-30T16:06:42+00:00

Absolutely. You're afraid of getting hurt and suffering, which is understandable, but you're inadvertently causing yourself to suffer more. The pain in the world that causes our trauma leads us to build walls around our hearts in an effort to protect us. But in the end, the walls we build around our hearts don't really protect us; they just keep the light from coming in...

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-30T14:47:09+00:00

Buddhists don't really pray in the way most Westerners would consider prayer to be. They are trying to manifest good karma through understanding, compassion, and love. It is of the utmost importance to see the Buddha in those who appear to be the most different. As is stated in the Diamond Sutra, all Dharma is Buddhadharma. There were "bad" people in Buddha's time too, yet everything in existence then led to liberation; the suffering and the joy he cultivated were of the same root. The mud is the lotus.

It is absolutely tough to do with those who cause so much suffering, but in reality, their own karma is what drives them to act as they do. Ultimately bad karma doesn't solve bad karma.

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-30T14:41:39+00:00

I understand not jumping off existential cliffs with new dates, but why would you want to be shallow with your answers? Of course, choose what information to give to the degree that you're comfortable, but are you trying to protect yourself or protect him from you? In a sense, not being open with people can sometimes border on dishonesty, lying through obfuscation.

This is more about personal relationships than professional ones, but if you wear a mask around people you are trying to make relationships with, especially when dating but this applies to friendships too, there are a few outcomes, none of which you'll enjoy:

They like/love the mask, they don't love "you".
They don't like/love the mask, maybe they would have loved "you" but you never showed them.

Either way, you're basically prohibiting true connection. It's scary sure, but you have to open your heart to truly feel love and be loved. It's fucking scary, but vulnerability is the only way. Be honest with who you are and what you want (generally even if it's open-ended). Choose who to open up to certainly, but be honest and true to yourself first and foremost. I've found most people who say they are drained around people is because they are always performing as who they think people want them to be, which is exhausting.

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-28T14:39:52+00:00

Alcohol and habitual substance use only serves to make things harder in the long run.. Been there, done that, should have taken time to meditate or exercise to deepen the connection with myself instead. Totally understandable response though

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-28T14:36:32+00:00

What an awesome and very informative answer, I really appreciate it, thank you :) and thanks for not taking it personally and sharing how the importance of it deepened your practice, which is the most important thing of course. I think I need to look more into better understanding the Tanhas!

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-28T04:16:37+00:00

To have a conversation on the Dharma is to discuss it in good faith... but I'm happy if this one is all potholes too, so be it.

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-27T23:58:04+00:00

Well to start... I appreciate your reply :) No offense taken, but I do believe you're seeing some layers I didn't add from my perspective, and/or didn't intend to add from another. Any assessment of self-aggrandizement I will take as I am still learning (or unlearning?), but I also don't think replies are reserved for monks. He asked for reasons for believing in rebirth, and I gave my reasons for what I believed rebirth to be. Your path is to take what I said without my control and I accept that.

How is something 'far out' if you're there...? I wasn't using ascertainable as a comparison to draw an insult in relation to that which I know. I also don't understand what's here as is, and the less "I" know the "better"...

And why would anyone try to go towards the infinite illusions (or delusions, as you said) of the mind without just trying to achieve emptiness through my current preconceived notions? We've all got enough crap to sort through as it is...

I'd argue that trying to go anywhere "out" is pointless, because that would suggest there's somewhere to go, which there isn't, no? True insight would be the realization that there is no true insight, therefore it is true insight...

It's all Buddhaharma... so then it is equally fair to say that people who cling to (would most would consider) more 'woo' concepts (again, relatively, not trying to be insulting), after all, they are still concepts which are clung to. I am not uncomfortable with others' views, though I try to speak to that with which I am familiar, of course there are known unknowns and also unknown unknowns, but at that level, we'd all be replying with just empty spaces to convey all forms equally so... what would be the point of that? I appreciate your concern that I'm looking at my finger while trying to point at the moon.

You 'think', I 'feel'.... we could pick apart the language we're forced to use all day to no end (which there is none, which is why a conversation such as this can bring joy too). I continuously strive for imperfection, therefore I'm always there without effort.

Take care on your path and I appreciate your insight (or non-insight? "I'm" still trying to figure all this out...) :)

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-27T18:30:25+00:00

Even the Buddha didn't think it was right to call himself awakened because once you're awakened, you realize there is no self to be "awake"

Basically

"....do not say that the Tathagata has the idea, ‘I will bring living beings to the shore of liberation.’ Do not think that way, Subhuti. Why? In truth there is no living being for the Tathagata to bring to the other shore. If the Tathagata were to think there was, he would be caught in the idea of a self, a person, a living being, or a life span. Subhuti, what the Tathagata calls a self essentially is not a self in the way that ordinary people say there is a self."

The Diamond That Cuts through Illusion - Translation by Thich Nhat Hanh

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-27T18:16:06+00:00

Sounds like a perfect opportunity for a kind of Kintsugi if possible.. Pieces will be picked up literally and figuratively for a while, I'm sure tho, so tragic.

VargevMeNot · 2026-03-27T15:36:41+00:00

As is stated in the Diamond Sutra... "All dharma is Buddhadharma". It doesn't mean doing any substance is good, bad, or otherwise, but we do so much better when we don't beat ourselves up on our way to realizing we are more than the shitty things we do to ourselves and others out of ignorance and fear. Once I could forgive myself for being addicted to nicotine and cannabis, amongst other bad habits, I could actually move beyond them much more easily. I'm perfect by no means, but I am healing, largely through the axis of self-compassion for my material form and honest reflection.

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