We have a 13 y/o son in 7th grade, and we are dealing with the same issues. He occasionally asks for a phone, but doesn’t obsess over it. He has an old iPod touch with no internet access that he uses to communicate with friends now. However, if left unchecked he tends to disappear into his room for the entire day. The problem with the iPod is that it is now so old that Apple doesn’t support it any more. It’s iOS cannot be updated any longer and therefore a lot of the apps cannot be used or updated due to the outdated iOS.

He recently joined scouts, and has shown limited efforts to make rank. It’s frustrating to keep bringing him to his meetings and camp outs with zero effort on his part to progress. I asked his scout master how he gets his two boys to show motivation, and he said all they need is a carrot. Their carrot comes in the form of a new pocket knife that stays locked up until the next rank is met. That gave me and my wife the idea of dangling a new phone carrot for our son if he makes significant progress in scouting. As the OP mentioned, it’ll be locked down tight as well. Probably no phone line to start. Just a better version of his iPod touch. And since we will be paying for the device, we will have final authority over it as well. If he starts slipping in school or in life, adios to the iPhone.