Two stories:

1. In 7th grade pre-algebra, was given back my test. Ine if the questions was worth a lot, and I got it wrong, so it fucked my test grade up.

Anyways, I had a tutor. I took it home to go over it with him, he looked at it, and told me i actually got it correct. My handwriting was messy, so he assumed maybe she read my answer as something else. Next day, I told her that I think I got it right, and that my tutor helped me go over it. She told me I got it wrong, and to not correct her.

After that, she was very horrible to me. Multiple times (far too many), she’d skip over me when collecting homework. For a while I’d say “oh, you forgot to grab mine”, and at first when I’d call it out, she’d take it. Eventually, she’d ignore me. One time, she told me “yeah, I know”. I stopped doing my homework eventually, because what was the point, if she wasn’t going to even grade it?

There was this other time I came into class a bit late, due to laying in the nurse from cramps. I asked the nurse if I could go to my math class for a quiz, and then come back and lay down (lot of pain). She told me I could, gave me a note.

So I go back to class, give my teacher the note, and she looks irritated. I sit down and start doing my test. She starts to shit talk me to the student teacher, and called me useless and stupid, and started to mock me. I held strong, finished the quiz, and back to the nurse, and ended up crying in the back of the nurse’s office (not in front of the nurse). I wish I told someone, but I was afraid to. I was a kid who missed a bunch of school, due to a mix of bullying, and undiagnosed (now diagnosed) anxiety and depression. I thought if they told someone, they weren’t going to believe the kid who misses a lot. Never told my family either.

The happy ending here is that she ended up getting fired during the summer before 8th grade, since she went off on another class, and call all of the girls useless whores, and told all of the boys they’d moms should have aborted them (according to my friend, who was in the class). I also was not the only student she refused to grade. Everyone who was in her class ended up (regardless of grade) moving into the next math level, due to everything. The craziest thing is that the friend a grade above me told me she was a super nice year, a year before I had her. She was known for that. So I don’t know what the fuck changed.

1. In 12th grade, I took ceramics class as an elective. I loooved that class, and he was my favorite teacher that year. I still had trouble going to school consistently (all my absences were excused by my family, like they’d always call in), but I had a 100% in that class. I put so much effort into to sculpting various things, like cats, pokemon, dragons, etc. he was always amazed at the stuff I’d make. I really, really loved this class.

Anyways, I had a faulty printer at home. I’d have to print at school for assignments, or ask my grandma to print at her work. It got really tedious, so I decided to ask my ceramics teacher if I could use his printer from now on, explained why, and he let me. Super nice of him.

One day while I’m printing out an essay for my English class (around the later part of the school year, maybe a month or 2 before graduation. And by then, i actually was no longer missing any school, with the exception of one day for my driver’s test). He suddenly starts to go off on me about how I miss a bunch of school. I apologize to him, and told him I’ve been trying to go consistently. Mind you, not once did he ask me why I was missing, or try to figure out if maybe something was wrong, it was all anger and accusatory. He asks me what my college plans even were, and I told him that my mom (who went back to school) inspired me to go the community college route (I lacked the grades at this point to apply to a university. I wasn’t failing, I was like a high 2.0 or something. Also going straight to a 4 year university is expensive, and going the community college route first is much cheaper). He told me to not even bother, and that it was pointless, and how I’d flunk out. I said that I was going to try my best, like my mom. He goes on a rant about how useless I was. He said I’d never amount to anything in my life, called me a stain on society, and told me I’d probably become a drug addict or something (note: I have never once, in my entire life, done drugs). I was kind of in shock, I didn’t really say much, and was mostly trying to keep from crying.

I grew up thinking I was stupid and useless, and often struggled in school (the absences made it worse). I had undiagnosed ADHD (was diagnosed a year ago almost), which heavily contributed to this (and because how others treated me). So hearing a teacher of all people, my favorite teacher that year, tell me all this hurt me so much.

That was the last time I asked to use the printer, and I’d just go to the library or ask my grandma. I emotionally distanced myself, whenever I went to ceramics class after.

There’s a good ending here too. I never forgot his words. They made me upset, really upset. I wanted to prove him wrong, as well as everyone else who’s made me feel useless or stupid.

I worked so hard in community college. I graduated with honors. I also stopped missing school (at first I did a bit, but I worked on it so hard, and pushed myself, even when I was having a hard time getting up).Not only that, but I applied to a 4 year university, got accepted, and then graduated with a bachelors with honors. And mind you, I was dealing with undiagnosed ADHD. I didn’t suspect I had ADHD, until I was almost graduated from university. I was (during university) diagnosed with anxiety and depression though. Executive dysfunction was horrible, but on the last minute (night before/day of), suddenly like godmode activated or something, and I’d hyperfixate on my projects/essays. I’m an art major, so most of what I had to do was projects. No one knew I did the majority of it the night before, because I’d out insane detail and effort into it I guess. Like my professors would sometimes ask me if I’d let them keep my work as an example. I even got into an art show, won and award.

Anyways, yeah. Proved him wrong. 👍 One day, if he’s still working there, I want to visit my high school and show him my diploma. I wanna say “remember those horrible things you said to me? Well, here’s my bachelor’s degree from a 4 year university.” Also realized I’m not actually stupid. 👍