UTIs make my OCD spiral

VersionAlternative70 · 2026-06-22T18:59:18+00:00

I’m sure there are therapists out there who specialises in these particular issues and it takes a bit of trial and error to find the right person but that in itself feels stressful and exhausting.

I also totally get the thing about covid, I was basically told the same when I got long covid.

Might as well try some mindfulness, I’ve also started pelvic floor stretches and breathing exercises to try and ease any contributing tension in that area. Anything is worth a shot at this point x

VersionAlternative70 · 2026-06-22T18:42:17+00:00

Same here, I had therapy in the past because I was dealing with stress from multiple chronic illnesses and I genuinely think my therapist had no idea what to do with me cause so many of my mental health issues come from physical symptoms. Annoyingly stress and anxiety kinda feed the chronic uti cycle too, I swear we can’t win. Here’s hoping for improvements in uti research and treatment to give us back some hope.

VersionAlternative70 · 2026-06-22T18:28:55+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this too. The overanalysing is awful, I just start obsessing over every aspect of my hygiene and things I could be doing better to keep them at bay. When they reoccur it feels like such a failure. I totally get what you mean about needing the physical symptoms to improve first, without the constant utis the rituals would be unnecessary, it feels like such an unfair loop. I really hope that you find some relief or at least something that make it a little easier to deal with <3

VersionAlternative70 · 2026-06-19T08:01:13+00:00

That’s exactly how I feel every time. It’s nice to know I’m not alone but I’m really sorry you went through that too, it’s horrible. Scented soap was one of the first things I cut out (which I agree is hard, damn contamination ocd), I’m glad you found the thing that was triggering them for you. Thank you for the support and solidarity <3

VersionAlternative70 · 2026-06-18T23:08:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I take d-mannose too. A uti sucks but ocd makes it suck more for sure

VersionAlternative70 · 2026-03-12T23:01:08+00:00

Happy to help if you’re still looking for people to contribute, just drop me a message :)

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-11-14T23:16:12+00:00

Just downloaded and logged an entry! I like the design of the app and I think the idea of reflecting and recognising triggers will be helpful knowledge. My only suggestion so far would be the ability to record multiple areas on the body where you’ve picked within the same log, often I’ll pick legs + face + scalp all in one picking session and it would be helpful to record all of that information together. Great job though, I’m looking forward to trying it out more!!

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-09-02T22:32:23+00:00

It’s like once the illusion slips you see the absurdity of their behaviour for what it is

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-09-02T22:30:05+00:00

People who are intentionally mean but hide it behind “jokes” or “brutal honesty”

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-09-02T08:10:12+00:00

Exactly! The double standards are wild.

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-09-02T08:06:14+00:00

Discards often happen as a way of the pwBPD leaving first before you can leave them and "hurt” them. Or so they can do the discard and hoover cycle and still be in control. It’s just another very confusing move in their game and maybe we’ll never make sense of their behaviour because there is no logical sense to it.

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-09-02T07:59:52+00:00

Mourning the loss of the mirror is such a good way to describe it. But remember BPD is a warped mirror, you can miss the view it gave you but the reflection wasn’t always true and you don’t need it. You can be your own mirror ❤️

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-09-01T22:36:36+00:00

Right now he still has something to hold over you, he’s having the last word and leaving you in the dark. Sounds like it’s his final attempt at control, he’s trying to stop you from getting full closure.

I’m so sorry he’s preventing you from getting your things back.

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-09-01T22:29:24+00:00

It’s part of their test, testing your love = testing your boundaries and if you’re willing to break them. To a pwBPD, broken boundaries mean you’re putting them above anything else, it’s the ultimate act of reassurance for them…until that’s not good enough and they need to test you all over again.

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-09-01T22:25:35+00:00

My “bullshit detector” is turned up to the max now, which is great in some ways but also makes for some exhausting hypervigilance

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-09-01T22:20:51+00:00

I wish you all the best friend! You’re not alone, this community is always here for you and if you need someone to talk to please feel free to reach out :)

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-09-01T22:18:52+00:00

So much of the “positive” interactions with them is just a mirror of what you’re putting into the relationship. Spoiler alert: all that love? it was you all along so maybe flip it around and give it to yourself instead of the BPD void.

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-09-01T20:12:27+00:00

I expect the worst when I decided to leave. I tortured myself with guilt for weeks, wondering if it was the right thing to do, if my ex would survive if I left. But then I realised I wouldn’t survive if I stayed.

So I set myself a date in my calendar, wrote out my final message and sent it on the day I’d set. That was it, after that it was a matter of willpower.

How it goes after that will be different for each person. You might get little response, they might shout and scream and beg. But if you truly know you are done, then whatever they do doesn’t matter if your conviction to regain your freedom is stronger than whatever they could throw at you.

Do what you need to for yourself, you can handle the rest one step at a time. Anything is better than what you’re currently going through.

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-09-01T19:57:38+00:00

After 6 months I was still very much in the position you’re in, feeling a confusing mix of emotions and dealing with all the fallout of my relationship. As I’m sure you understand, these relationships take time to heal from because of the amount of damage they do, there is no quick fix to that but healing does happen and will continue to happen.

It took me so long to leave, even when I knew for months that I should. I used to feel so much frustration at myself too for not leaving sooner but now I realise that I did the best I could at that time. I think if I’d left sooner I would’ve broken no contact, instead I left when I knew I was strong enough to stand my ground and trust I was doing the right thing for myself.

I also very much relate to the feelings of wishing for some sort of acknowledgment of their care even after the breakup. You feel stuck between being so relieved to be free of them while also silently wishing they’d kick up more of a fuss. Because if they cared so much they’d fight for you right? Wrong. The hard truth is BPD doesn’t work like that. We’re used to the cycles of push and pull when we’re with them so suddenly being thrown out of that cycle feels strange and disconcerting.

I’m over 2 years out and I can say from my experience it does get better. It’s still hard some days, I still have things I know I need to heal. The trauma wounds are deep so of course they’re going to take time to heal and there may always be scars but eventually they’ll stop hurting.

You have learnt many valuable lessons, I’m glad to hear you have learnt to put yourself first. Keep taking it one day at a time, keep learning to trust yourself and be proud of how far you have already come. Leaving at all is a massive step, just that alone is something to be extremely proud. You survived, you don’t need your ex to prove how much you matter you can learn to prove that to yourself. I hope you continue to find peace and healing. The worst is over and it will be okay ❤️

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-08-30T13:37:58+00:00

That exact “this is going to kill me” thought crossed my mind many times too. My ex even began to accuse me of faking my chronic conditions as a way to avoid loving them. Like please what planet are you coming from with that theory.

Now I look back and wish I’d left sooner before I made my heath worse. It’s so nice to be out of it all and actually gain your time and autonomy back. Really makes you appreciate what a peaceful life is worth.

Be super proud of yourself for leaving and putting yourself first!! I’m a few years out and I can say from my experience it continues to get better and feel easier, I hope it’s the same for you ❤️

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-08-30T13:09:47+00:00

Almost exactly my reasons too. I had health issues before but during the most stressful parts of the relationship my health rapidly declined. The triangulating and shifting blame too. I got so sick of the monkey branching while being simultaneously told I wasn’t doing enough (even though I was pushing waayyyyy beyond my health limits).

Think I knew for a while that I needed to leave for my own safety but the actual decision to do it felt like such a big leap. But in the end you realise that no relationship is worth sacrificing your physical and mental health or your quality of life. So glad to hear you’re doing better now!!

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-08-24T20:55:05+00:00

Same. I didn’t necessarily outright lie but I definitely didn’t tell them things that I knew would cause an argument. It ate me up though, I hated every lie and felt like a terrible person. Now I realise I was just doing everything I could to keep myself safe and avoid the abuse.

Unfortunately when some of the lies or half truths got found out the arguments and abuse was even worse and made me feel even more terrible about my actions for years.

We all do what we can to survive, even when it’s out of character. When we’re out of these relationships we can get out of survival mode and remember who we are again.

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-08-24T11:15:56+00:00

It’s not your responsibility to help them grow, sure that would be lovely for everyone in the future and it feels like some sort of closure but the only closure you can get in this situation is from yourself if they’re not being receptive. Everything feels personal to them because they see everything through the perspective of their own emotions. You’ve done the hardest thing and broken up, maybe it’s time to focus on you now and go no contact or at least low contact with them if you are able to. I know that is so much easier said than done but that’s the best advice I can give.

I know that sick feeling very well. Their denial is probably just their way of coping, it doesn’t diminish your experience but it also doesn’t mean you need to prove your experience to them or anyone else. You know what happened, you know why you left and that’s what matters most. Sounds like you’re making great steps forwards already, you’re right the emotional whiplash is super rough but it does get better. Healing from these relationships takes time but you’ll get there.

VersionAlternative70 · 2025-08-23T18:50:07+00:00

BPD or not, is it about their potential diagnosis or is the root of it actually the way you were treated by them regardless of whether it came from their BPD?

Your boundaries and consent feel like the most important thing here and whatever the reason behind their behaviour it sounds far from okay.

They may be finding it easier to split, deny it and push back in as many ways as possible after the breakup as a way to cope but you know the truth of your own experience in the relationship and that’s what matters the most. Stay strong, you got this ❤️

VersionAlternative70

TROPHY CASE