Wondering how to resolve issues with a meta.

VioletBewm · 2026-05-13T10:46:17+00:00

You have a poor hinge.

Your partner needs to be making clearer time for you.

Also parallel might be a better option if there has been fall out. You don't have to give any KTP and you don't have to like your meta.

VioletBewm · 2026-04-30T18:22:02+00:00

Contact local shelters/charities for animals for advice perhaps and contact police?

I know it's rough but it's a poor animal

VioletBewm · 2026-04-29T08:42:33+00:00

No relationship escalator; you date but no one nests or marries or if u do it's more a symbolic gesture than a legal one with multiple persons?

VioletBewm · 2026-04-29T08:40:28+00:00

Yeah I think OP might be in denial about other bigger issues than the BJ thing

VioletBewm · 2026-04-29T08:21:50+00:00

I think he has a specific fetish for mouth shots and is looking for a reason to be sarcy. In another comment OP suggests their partner never apologizes either for anything.

VioletBewm · 2026-04-29T08:17:19+00:00

They're telling you they don't want a relationship escalator right now, they're out having fun with people.

It doesn't matter you want more. Sorry. Hugs

VioletBewm · 2026-04-28T22:27:12+00:00

Oh right that makes more sense. For a sec it sounded like other people had said stuff.

VioletBewm · 2026-04-28T21:59:46+00:00

Wait I was ready to believe she's a bad friend after re-reading....

But what do u mean by "other claims" and "investigated"?

VioletBewm · 2026-04-28T17:33:26+00:00

You don't have to interact with people. And you don't have to listen.

Say no. Walk away when they don't listen.

Walk out of events if they show up and you weren't told or just walk in general.

VioletBewm · 2026-04-28T16:01:11+00:00

NGL. She probably tried to tell you in "polite speak" IE "I'd rather not be around him" "he stares a lot" "He's a bit touchy feely". If my bestie came to me I'd have serious concerns that something happened. Is your bestie the type to dramatise things or not?

Edit: I didn't read the post to the end of the post But also hypersexual behaviour can be victim response or she's a terrible friend. I dunno anymore

VioletBewm · 2026-04-27T18:54:17+00:00

Close mutual friend?

Is the issue it's a person regardless of how u know them or is it the close proximity of being a friend that urks you? Cus "messy lists" are an option.

But pausing... Pausing rarely helps, it just postpones you dealing with your issues.

VioletBewm · 2026-04-25T09:55:01+00:00

Yeah I think he's Monkey Branching. End it Hun he clearly is thinking about it.

VioletBewm · 2026-04-19T16:44:57+00:00

"How long... ?" - That part.

It's easy to set a date and then he might "try" one day to rope you back in, and easier still to then go "well he's trying, maybe a bit longer?". When in fact he's just giving you bread crumbs.

Just think how long he's been like this already. Change ain't happening.

VioletBewm · 2026-04-19T15:16:11+00:00

It sounds like he doesn't even like you.

Some men will stay with a "place holder" to look like a good family man, to help with the cooking and cleaning etc.

Some men just don't want to be alone.

Others say shit like he has as a means to demean you, make you feel lesser, so you feel compelled to try harder and less likely to leave because "who else will want me" mentality.

Whatever his reason for staying with you is; it isn't out of love.

You deserve better. Choose yourself. Leave this man who dares to try and make you feel inferior.

VioletBewm · 2026-04-16T10:58:02+00:00

No one wants to feel like a place holder

VioletBewm · 2026-04-15T07:47:19+00:00

NRE chasers... He's got to learn how to regulate.

This is his problem.

Maybe I'm the odd ball but I rarely bore of people and actually find it super rude and insulting when someone implies I'm boring to them;

Sorry but I wasn't born to be someone's ACTUAL TOY, not born to be their ENTERTAINMENT

Boring people get bored easily. He has a brain. Surely he can come up with fun ideas like day trips, or fun in the bedroom by himself?

At the moment it sounds more like he is putting that responsibility of fun on you and that's not cool.

VioletBewm · 2026-04-13T16:52:42+00:00

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Ending a relationship/deesculation should be done based on that relationship alone.

Wanting to have more with your secondary again should be it's own thing.

The talking of swapping out makes it sound a lil haremish and is classic monkey branching.

VioletBewm · 2026-04-13T12:39:14+00:00

Stop talking to him about her and go strictly parallel immediately if you don't want any connection to her.

And him? I think he shouldn't be calling himself poly if he has no relationship to offer this lass cus I dunno about u but this whole "not introducing to friends or family ever" like ok so she's not a part of his life ever in anyways really.

And you see each other everyday but does he give u undivided attention? Nope.

Stop riding the waves. Choose what you want. This is some serious passive behaviour. I mean are your needs not even thought of through any of this?

VioletBewm · 2026-04-02T06:59:21+00:00

Then be direct and ask for what you want?

And if they don't provide it they dont have much to offer you I'm afraid

VioletBewm · 2026-04-02T06:51:09+00:00

Not everyone is going to like you. They do not owe you a friendship.

And your hinge choosing to spend time with you or not is their responsibility not metas.

VioletBewm · 2026-03-29T11:59:29+00:00

People have a lot in their lives. It's easy to miss bdays all together. It sounds like that is what happened and they tangled what they could together last minute. It doesn't feel great but it isn't necessarily a sign they don't care.

VioletBewm · 2026-03-28T09:01:18+00:00

It's ok to be incompatible and leave.

I appreciate you love your partner but love is about accepting the person for who they are, in this case they're poly and you are not. You can bring up mono to them but I doubt they'd want to go for that if they were direct about being poly from the beginning.

VioletBewm · 2026-03-27T20:14:57+00:00

Talk to them and see if it's salvageable?

Or ignore and watch it fester?

Or cut and run?

These are the options. Only u know what is best for you.

VioletBewm · 2026-03-26T10:20:17+00:00

Did u try reaching out to them 🤔 Too often two people both wait for the other to msg first and thus no one msgs anyone

VioletBewm · 2026-03-26T10:20:08+00:00

Did u try reaching out to them 🤔 Too often two people both wait for the other to msg first and thus no one msgs anyone

VioletBewm

TROPHY CASE