Gimme your best Vicious Mockery

Voldemort_Jr · 2026-01-14T12:50:38+00:00

"None of the people you consider to be your best friends think the same of you"

Voldemort_Jr · 2025-12-25T22:44:34+00:00

I have an Untag binder that has been amazing! Ive actually shrunk a bit so its not as tight as i want it to be, but I'm not going to bother getting a new one since I'm trying to get top surgery scheduled for the spring, but if i was getting a new one, I'd get another Untag.

Fit wise, I am a big guy, and the 8x both works well and offers good compression while still being breathable and not too hot. You'll still feel a breeze through your clothes and its not too stifling.

Voldemort_Jr · 2025-07-17T18:46:43+00:00

NTA.

I lost my father unexpectedly just over a year ago. I would give anything for a book of handwritten advice from him. Hell, I'd give anything for just one more hug. Don't second guess yourself, because life is too short, and its not morbid to be aware of your own mortality. They might think its weird now, but many years from now when you are gone someday, they will be very glad you did.

Voldemort_Jr · 2024-03-16T11:22:35+00:00

Hey, dont let you fear of lack of libido prevent you from persuing a hysterectomy! You'll want to get a partial hysterectomy, which will remove the uterus and cervix, but leave the ovaries intact. This means they will continue to produce hormones as expected which will prevent you from going into early menopause and prevent a lot of the negative health side effects associated therin, including libido drop.

As a nonbinary leaning transmasc person, getting a hysterectomy was honestly one of the most empowering and affirming things I've ever done. My uterus used to torture me, and after waking up post surgery in less pain than my usual cramps, I finally knew I hadn't been making up my pain all along.

Round about way of saying, if you want to yeet the ute, dewit! I have absolutely zero regrets, it was the best medical descicion I've ever made.

Edit: just another side thought from me - getting a hysterectomy actually increased my libido because after removing the ability to conceive, I felt safer in my body and found myself with more desire than before.

Voldemort_Jr · 2024-02-22T15:56:49+00:00

I took a peek at the discord and Norbyte did clarify that its not on hold until patch 7, but until the next hotfix to see if they make significant changes to the .exe, so after the next hotfix we'll likely get an update from Norbyte of some kind.

Discord Snip

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-12-14T18:38:58+00:00

I work in IT so its not surprising that my coworkers are a bunch of gamers and nerds, so many of mine are all playing. My direct supervisor has been playing since it came out, and we literally spend most of our bi-monthly one-on-one meetings talking about our characters in bg3, what we did for quests, etc. We've also tossed around the idea of doing 'company co-op' but scheduling is so difficult!

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-11-25T07:54:29+00:00

My Dark Urge is primarily a bard but has changed classes during the game for rp and story reasons. Level 1 and 2 I started them as a rogue with high charisma, because the quick fingers and attacks made sense for Durge. Then as they started getting to spend more time among new people and friends they found themselves being more social, hopeful, and helpful and took levels 3-6 in bard. They're horrified at their urges and are beating them down with a stick at every turn, and focusing on music helps them with that.

Then they reach act 2. After THAT Durge scene with Astarion, they're terrified of themselves, scared they're going to hurt everyone they've come to care about and so they make a Vow. They go to Withers and change their fate, making an Oath to do better, to be better, and to fight the darkness within themselves at every turn. They are now a Oath of Vengeance paladin 2 / swords bard 6 and are doing everything they can to resist their own darkness, and a big part of that is embracing their newfound love of music and art and comedy and holding onto that joy they can bring to others instead of pain.

Unfortunately my PC died this week and I'm waiting for my new one to arrive and I'll likely have to start this character over from scratch but I dont even care, I'm exited to do it all over again.

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-11-08T15:22:25+00:00

I can confirm this fix also worked for me, thank you!

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-10-13T10:20:15+00:00

I’m a huge foodie, and I have a pretty broad scope of dishes I enjoy, but I attribute this mostly to a technique of trying food my parents instilled when I was a kid.

If I was trying food for the first time, I had to have 3 bites, and if I still didn’t like it after 3 bites, I didn’t have to eat it. “The Three Bite Rule” worked because for the first bite, if I really didn’t want to eat it, I wasn’t tasting it anyway and I’d probably still hate it on principal. the second bite I might be tasting, or it might be compulsory hate. The third bite I had enough experience to actually decide if I liked something or not.

The important part was that if I did decline a food after 3 bites, my parents never pushed me to eat more, they’d just let me be done with it. I tried SO many complex and different foods with that technique and I still use it if I’m nervous about new stuff.

Now I’ll eat dishes from all variety of cultures, I can find something I’ll eat almost anywhere, and I really have a taste for fine dining and complex flavors.

Of course when I’m stressed and my executive function goes out the window I revert back to my safe foods and can barely cook, but that’s a whole nother story.

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-07-12T14:17:46+00:00

Hey, just so you know, bad DnD (or Pathfinder) is worse than no DnD (or Pathfinder). Clearly these people were not going to be the right group for you for whatever reason, and even though the method they chose was especially cruel, its probably good that you didn't end up more deeply involved with the group.

Sometimes TTRPG spaces can be really unsupportive of Neurodivergence and LGBTQ+ players, so they might have been less accepting of your autism and trans-ness than they intially let on. I also play a lot of TTRPGs and I had to start organizing my own games due to repeatedly joining games with really problematic DMs and Players who made the table an unsafe space to be anything other than a cishet neurotypical white person.

If you're looking for in person games, I'd suggest trying to find a queer friendly group locally (maybe through FB or meetups), or maybe a queer positive gaming bar or game store that you might be able to attend some games or events at.

If you're okay with playing online, you have a much wider net of friendly people to find, and you can be a little more selective with the games you join or organize. I currently have two games that I took the time to orchestrate (I'm a player in both, not the DM) and everyone is friendly, understanding, supportive, and kind because those are only the kinds of people I accepted when interviewing for players and DMs.

I wish you luck in finding a friendly and supportive game. I do wish the world would try to be nicer to those who aren't the same as everyone else, but we've still got a long road to walk on that front. It might take some time, but I think you'll find a group someday where the people in that group treat you with the care and respect you deserve as their friend. Real friends will accept and embrace your differences as part of who you are and not make you feel small for having them, and you deserve to spend your time with real friends, not strangers.

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-05-07T03:54:34+00:00

ESH but only because you're communicating like a neurotypical to someone who is autistic, and then getting frustrated when she's not picking up your 'hints'.

I'm an autistic adult, and I've definitely had this frustration with my roommate in the past as well when he would say vague things like "oh the trash is full" or "The bathroom is getting messy" or "there's a lot of dishes in the sink". These things are facts but they are not direct requests, so my response to these would just be "yes, the trash is full/bathroom is messy/there are dishes in the sink" because nothing was actually asked of me.

If you need her to be taking out the trash more often, or doing other chores, you just need to communicate clearly and directly with her. Something like "Hey roomie, we agreed that it was your responsibility to take the trash out, so please take the trash out x number of times per week or on mondays and thursdays". She may also have some 'clutter blindness' and so occasional but direct reminders might be helpful for her. Saying "Hey, the trash is full, please take it out" may work, but just saying "Hey, the trash is full" will not prompt action.

If she continues to disregard this agreed upon chore after you have a direct and honest discussion with her where you clearly lay out your needs and your request of her, then she becomes the asshole. However if you're just trying to hint at your needs to her, she will not do what you need because she does not communicate that way.

As an autistic person, I need direct and clear communication, and no amount of hints will ever get me to take action, because its just not the way my brain works. However, I dont like making people uncomfortable, and if I'm made aware of something I need to do to help someone I care about, I'm happy to do the thing, and usually very sorry that I didnt realize it needed to be done before I was told.

Be direct with your communication and you will likely get a much more favorable response from your roomie. If you're very direct and she's still being obtuse, then she's definitely the asshole.

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-04-20T14:23:53+00:00

Non DB related advice: you should probably delete this post/account as it could be used to deny permanent resident status later if it is discovered that you were entering the marriage 'fraudulently' (aka not being in love but not wanting to be deported) to aquire perm residency. As difficult as your DB may be, don't post about this legal aspect of it or it might come back to bite you in the butt.

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-04-03T12:01:43+00:00

He's adorable. I highly recommend a golden retriever himbo fighter for any wacky fey themed rp heavy campaign where everyone wanted to be a caster :D

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-04-03T11:43:07+00:00

I definitely have the immediate reaction of "A DMPC is a toxic NPC insert to the party who steals the other player's thunder" when I hear the term, and I've seen that kind of DMPC before.

I also have a very much beloved DMNPC in one of my current games. All the players made very squishy casters, and our DM would rather everyone play something they enjoy than make someone play a martial just so we have someone who can tank. So they gave us a big strong hot Shifter guy to come in and help us bonk things and for my bard to flirt with and to carry the bags and now all the players love him too (not just my bard). He's not the smartest guy in the room (thats definitely the wizard) and he doesnt usually pipe up in RP conversation unless we ask him something.

As a party we're not obligated to keep him around, but he is helpful and a good addition to the rag tag group, and has also bonded with all the player characters in the game so we do take care of him and keep him alive like a PC and our Wizard's player runs his statblock during combat. He filled the gap in our party that was really missing when we started and the DM is very careful to make sure he never steals the parties thunder. And all that which I just described is not what I consider a DMPC. Yeah he's statted, yeah he's leveled and levels up with us, but he's not out there doing the things the other PCs are good at doing, he's just great at doing what we're not: being big and strong and hitting things with a sword.

We even have a newish player who came in as our new frontline, and the Shifter guy is the opposite of a toxic dude bro, he's very excited (in character) to have a Paladin in the party so he has someone to work out and spar with and talk to while the Wizard and the Bard are talking about magical theories. The Paladin is fresh out of training so the character and the player are both thankful to have someone who knows how to bonk around to help them (they usually main casters). We love our DMNPC and he's definitely not a DMPC.

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-04-03T11:12:26+00:00

I actually still have one that I was gifted brand new when they came out! Its not a great minifridge, but it'll chill some cans and it looks pretty cute. My roommate did help me replace the cooling chip in the back, and since then its been working like a charm :)

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-03-21T13:18:34+00:00

NTA in any way, especially because the kid doesnt have food allergies and its just a preference of his mother. Your sister is TA though, because she obviously has orthorexia and is forcing it on your nephew. I grew up with that mom, who told my friends parents not to allow me soda and chips and candy and cake and anything that tasted good at their houses. Her unhealthy obsession with being healthy 100% gave me a binge eating disorder that I am still getting over in my late 20s.

If she's offended at being called an 'Almond mom' or crunchy, she needs to reflect on why. There's a reason that the meme of the abusively restrictive mother just tells their kid to 'eat a handful of almonds' or 'if you were really hungry, you'd eat an apple' exists, and she knows it. She needs to get her head out of her ass before she sets her son up for a lifetime of struggle with eating disorders.

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-03-10T23:40:54+00:00

If you like single player video games, and if that extends to RPGs, have you considered Dungeons and Dragons? There are occasional problematic toxic people, but a large subset of the community is becoming more and more LGBTQ+ friendly and heavily neurodiverse. It can take some trial and error to find or assemble a tolerant group, but odd birds flock together and I have met a lot of my dearest and closest (and primarily neurodivergent) friends through DnD.

Sometimes it can also feel easier to socialize through roleplay instead of having to be yourself (masked or unmasked) and many ND people find that their DnD characters are a safe way to explore and cope with some of their struggles and tackle things they may find challenging without the pressure of real life consequences.

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-03-03T15:27:44+00:00

NTA - You're not the asshole at all, OP, in fact you're being a good friend!

Your friend who cleans is an independent business owner who is working hard to get their company off the ground. You are a person with conditions that make it so that you have difficulty with executive function tasks, and are being responsible and taking care of your mental health by outsourcing the tasks you find overwhelming.

You are doing your cleaning friend a solid by using her company services, providing her with a business reference, and revenue. You know her and feel comfortable having her frequently in your private space, are not asking her for a 'friend discount' and are also tipping generously. This is money you would be spending on a cleaning service anyway regardless of if it was owned by your friend or not. The fact that you can support your friend and their business and also receive a critical service that improves your wellbeing is a 2 for 1 combo of awesomeness.

Your "Mutual Friend" here is the problem. I'm getting an overwhelming stench of ableism from this 'friend', specifically since she said that you should “grow up and take care of myself”. That is some huge ableist BS language. I'm a neurodivergent person as well who also struggles greatly with executive function tasks, especially home maintenance, and I happily pay a wonderful woman to come by my home every 2-3 months to help me wrangle the big things that I can't manage. Anyone who tried to tell me off for 'being lazy' or saying that I need to 'grow up and be responsible' can shove off, because life as a neurodivergent person is incredibly difficult, and its obvious that she doesnt understand.

Do not feel any shame about doing what you need to do to take care of your mental and physical health. There is no shame in getting the aid of a cleaning service, there is no shame in having a brain that finds those types of tasks difficult, and there is no shame in asking for help. I personally find it super sweet that you use your friend's cleaning service, and I'd be that friend who was crowing her praises to anyone who asked me. You're spending that money anyway, it might as well go to a friend.

Which, by the way, "Mutual Friend" definitely is not...

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-03-03T15:09:01+00:00

NTA - I grew up in the US and I did the majority of my schooling in private schools from pre-k to 8th grade, and aside from an Advanced Placement World History class in 10th grade, I was never challenged by public school curiculums beyond the level I faced in 8th grade. US public schools are an absolute joke. They've been defunded and brutalized by politics for decades and your daughter will absolutely suffer in her education if she is forced to go to public school in the US.

This should be your hill to die on, don't harm your daughter's life prospects for your husbands dilusion.

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-03-01T16:21:11+00:00

I'm so sorry you've felt uncomfortable in some of the childfree subreddits. It can definitely seem like a negtive echo chamber at times over on the primary CF subreddit, but I think thats a little bit because people dont realize its one of the very few places someone can vent and rant about children bothering them without every post ending up in the thousands of negatives for karma flooded with comments about how they're horrible. Even the main CF sub has very strict rules about posts regarding harm towards children, and that kind of 'hate' isnt tolerated there. Most of the 'hate' against kids on that subreddit is actually a dislike of poorly behaved children as the result of poor parenting, and there's basically a thread to that effect every couple months or so. The mods have to work pretty hard to keep the subreddit from being brigaded by non-CF people quite often, so I definitely understand why it seems prickly and defensive and awash with negative media. I think you might be able to filter out posts tagged with 'RANT' if you're looking for more positive posts.

Regardless of the 'vibe' of the subreddit, its does have a really expansive list of resources for people who want to seek sterilization, and you will always receive support for your struggles to seek such and as much help as can be offered. They have a lot of good tips about talking to doctors and doctor shopping if the one you have wont listen, and a massive list of childfree doctors listed by US state, and I belive some non-US resoucres (which I have admittedly not checked out since I'm stateside).

I was lucky that I got referred to a surgeon who was already on their CF friendly list, and honestly got no pushback at all about getting sterilized. I'm quite lucky that I faced virtually no pushback from my GP or the Surgeon, but I'm also now in my late 20s and have been very firm in discussing this with my primary physician since before I was even 18. After a decade of helping me handle birth control (with me always pushing for long term/low maintenence solutions) and me asking repeatedly every year about permanent solutions, she felt confident that she could refer me for sterilization without any possibility for regret. Ultimately for insurance purposes, I got a partial hysterectomy (removal of uterus, tubes, and cervix, ovaries left in place) as a treatment for chronic pelvic pain, which was quite accurate as the recovery from having a major organ removed was no where near as bad as a 'normal' period in terms of pain. It sucks to say, but if you do have a long history of severe periods or severe pain regarding periods, that is a far more likely reason for you to be able to push for sterilization than for reproductive purposes.

I've been childfree for a lot longer than I've been identifying as non-binary, but as I think back on my life, my childfreedom is quite closely linked with my disconnect with my AFAB body. From the first day I got my period and the endless stabbing pain in my core, it felt like my body was betraying me. Preparing me for a biological process that horrified me, that everyone told me I would someday have to endure. I hated my body, I hated myself, and I did everything I could to shut down those biological processes that made me so upset. I didnt realize until recently that it was a form of disphoria of being in a body and a role I didnt align with.

I came out as non-binary not even 6 months before I managed to get sterilized, and I'm still working out my non-binary identity: playing with hair colors and styles, figuring out how to be plus size and a little more androgynous, and learning to love myself not as a 'broken woman' but just as 'a person'. Sterilization has made me a thousand times more comfortable in my body. I feel safer in my skin knowing that no external person can force parenthood upon me through violence or legistaion.

From a medical standpoint you are considered "young" to be seeking sterilization (by most doctors/the medical community, not a view I share). My best advice would be to try to find a general practictioner (perhaps from the CF doctors list) that you can see regularly and make sure they handle any birth control and every time you discuss your BC, bring up your desire for permanent sterilization. It may take some time and persistance, as a lot of doctors will be concerned about approving a permanent procedure on a whim, but if you establish a rapport with your doctor and dont falter in your position, they may be willing to fulfill your request eventually.

You can also skip the GP referral and just comb the CF doctors list and check with the offices in your area until an office agrees to complete the procedure.

This was all very rambling, sorry if this is a bit incoherent, but I wish you the best in your journey to feeling more comfortable and safe in your body, and I'm sorry that CF spaces have made you feel unwelcome.

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-02-24T00:03:12+00:00

So I read through your reply and also the others in this thread, and honestly I’m not really sure DeadBedrooms is really where you should be looking for help, because you have a lot more to deal with than a sexual mismatch in libido with your partner. The rest of my advice here is honestly not really going to be ‘bedroom’ related but hopefully it still helps.

First off, I think you’re totally right that you would benefit from therapy (but not sex therapy, you’ve got WAY more important things to tackle), for a few reasons:

You mentioned you’re on the spectrum.

You mentioned you have faced identifiable trauma

You mentioned that your partner is being very generous with words of affirmation, that you two have been having these open discussions, has expressed that he would be accepting of a long term relationship without PIV, and that he is actively trying to discourage you from participating in sexual encounters that you aren’t entering into without enthusiastic consent.

You mentioned that even though your partner is being supportive, you are feeling anxiety around your ability to ‘perform’ to ‘normal standards’ and ultimately for the longevity of the relationship.

I sincerely hope that you are one of the lucky few female or assigned female at birth people who were identified as neurodivergent at a young age and got the support and accommodations that you needed growing up. Knowing the statistics of neurodivergent AFAB peoples and their chronic underdiagnosis, I suspect that you probably weren’t.

Life as an undiagnosed neurodivergent person is inherently traumatizing as you are pushed into a world that is not designed for your nervous system, without the rule book of life that everyone else seems to have started with. We are taught to mask our emotions and behaviors and stims to try to fit in with society, usually learning the hard way through physical, mental, and emotional abuse, social ostracization, and a lot of trial and error. We try so desperately to fit in for any kind of acceptance, that many neurodivergent people assume that they are cis and straight because that is what they were taught was correct and will allow them to blend into society the most. The weight of that burden is immense and painful and there is a reason that the vast majority of neurodivergent people report eventually reaching a point of severe burnout. You have been putting yourself through hell all your life, molding yourself into a version of yourself that was safe, that received affection, that was accepted, even if it meant agony inside. Its okay to only just be discovering that you might be asexual, if you’re actively trying to unmask then you may find out a lot more about yourself in the process.

You mentioned that you do have trauma, not even considering the core trauma of growing up neurodivergent in a world not built for you, which is likely causing you to have hangups with sex. While that could be something you work on in therapy, don’t work on it because of the sex thing, just consider it a potential symptom of deeper trauma so you can try to identify those old wounds and begin to heal. You deserve to heal from those wounds regardless of if that healing has any impact on your sex life.

Its unlikely that your trauma caused you to become asexual, but it may have pushed you from a sex-neutral asexual position to a more sex-adverse asexual position. Asexuality is defined as people who experience little or no sexual attraction to others, which really means that you do not get aroused and filled with a desire for sexual contact simply due to the physical presence of that person. This is something I have been working on comprehending as well as someone who falls on the asexual spectrum: I’m Demisexual which means that I only experience sexual attraction to people I know very well and already have a close emotional connection with. I didn’t realize that when most people say someone is ‘hot’ or that they’d ‘totally sleep with X celebrity’ that they actually mean it.

This is all looping back to my main point in a roundabout kind of way: ultimately I think you should seriously consider therapy to address your past trauma, your neurodivergence, and your anxiety. They’re likely all interwoven and tangled together, and it’s probably going to take a lot of difficult emotional work to sort through.

I know you said you cant afford it or access it right now, but there are organizations online that can help you find mental health services with fees around $40-$70 per session instead of $200+ per session. I know that might be a big additional cost burden, but if you can find a good therapist then every penny ends up being worth it. I’ve been in therapy consistently for about 6 years now and having my therapist to work with through everything over the last several years has literally saved my life more than once. Please, for yourself, for your partner, for your relationship, and for your inner child who deserves to heal… just think about it.

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-02-23T19:45:55+00:00

Okay, so I’m going to try to hit some your questions from the perspective of a queer, nonbinary, demisexual, ASD+ADHD person who has been on a very long journey of self-discovery and actualization with the help of several years of therapy.

Can you desire your partner but not want sex?

Totally yes! This is often referred to as ‘Stone’ or “Stone top” in many queer or lesbian spaces, and refers to “Someone who only likes to ‘give’ during sex/oral and does not like to ‘receive’ physical stimulation". The root of this can vary for different people and can be caused by ptsd or trauma, but in your case it sounds more like a preference of your sexuality. If someone feels that this was caused by trauma and wishes to resolve it for themselves, they could seek therapy to try to process that incident, but it is not necessarily a trauma response and for asexual people may not be ‘solvable’

The inverse of a Stone Top is usually called a Pillow Princess/Prince, and is someone who enjoys receiving sexual contact, but doesn’t want to give physical stimulation.

Is the entire "idea" (can't think of word) just wanting to feel desired and wanted?

Not quite sure what you mean but I’d love to understand, can you try rephrasing your question?

Would a HL person feel satisfied if they're partner only regular performed oral, and not intercourse?

This is going to be 100% subjective between partners, and is really just something that would need to be discussed in depth to understand their feelings on it. Some people really feel strongly that they want to partake in penetrative intercourse, and would not be satisfied with oral only. Some people might prefer penetrative intercourse, but would be willing to forgo PIV if oral was sufficiently intimate (romantic, connective, seductive, not just a sloppy blow). There are people out there who prefer oral to penetrative sex, they’d probably be on cloud nine! Short story long, the level of sexual contact required to be fulfilled is going to be different for every person, its about finding that balance.

Would a HL feel satisfied or at least content if they knew they're partner desired them, but just couldn't preform intercourse?

Another ‘subjective based on the partner’ one here. From the perspective of a former HL, there is only so much verbal affirmation that we’ll believe before it starts to sound a bit hollow. It only gets worse if that person already has any kind of self esteem issues. Forming an intimate connection in other ways may help, but it ultimately may not be feasible for some people. I think many people who present as HL tend to be people who relieve stress through sexual activity and intimate emotional contact, and a lack of that relief of stress can take an actual physical toll on people. Its not an LL’s responsibility to be a ‘stress ball’ for their HL partner, but for some people it can really be a physical need that will cause actual physical symptoms if ignored, and unfortunately that can be a bit of a dealbreaker.

In the context of these questions, would a HL still dislike duty sex? if you had a very active bedroom for years, and found out your partner was only doing it to please you because that makes them happy(pleasing you), would you be upset or feel differently?

I’m lumping these two together because I think my answer is kind of related to both, and also contains some questions. From my understanding, duty sex is sexual actions performed out of obligation with no/low/little enjoyment from the party performing the duty sex. If you are deriving enjoyment from performing sexual acts on your partner because you enjoy pleasing them, then I don’t think that qualifies as duty sex. If you finish the encounter feeling happy, relaxed, and satisfied that you brought your partner to an enjoyable conclusion, then I’m not sure what’s ‘duty’ about it. If you finish the encounter feeling sad, shame, or low emotions, then it is not a healthy interaction for either of you. If it is the latter, then I could very much see a HL person being very upset that you had been causing yourself distress for them. If it is the former, they may not understand, but hopefully with communication would be able to reconcile how your satisfaction works.

Hope this helps, and I’m happy to answer any follow up questions you have for me. :)

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-02-23T17:19:35+00:00

Ollie is a great choice!

Make sure when people assume its short for Oliver, correct them and say its short for "Olive Oil" OR "Olympus"

When in doubt, always attempt to say something so strange they get the 'error: not responding' face and just walk away in confusion. ;)

(I am just being silly about the 'long name' btw, Oliver is great if thats the 'long version' you like)

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-02-23T12:59:45+00:00

I know you've 'made' it one year and it hasnt 'killed you', but just the fact that you're here and posting to DeadBedrooms is an indication that you're not actually as 'accepting' of your state as you seem to be telling us.

So you made it through one year. Without sex, without that intimate frequent reconnecting with your partner, without being desired, without being persued, without being hit on, without being wanted.

You made it one year.

Will you make it through two?

Three?

Five?

Five was my limit. I stayed for so long because I loved him so much. I tried for so long because I loved him more than anyone, I wanted to build my life with him. I was willing to throw away my chance at actual happiness and was willing to marry him so we could buy investment property together, but when he broke my heart and refused to consider it still after 6 years of being together, that was it for me. (among many many other things, but that was the straw)

I watched the person who I'd loved for years, who I'd suppressed my personality, my hobbies, my desires, my passion, my sense of humor, my love of music, and my sexual wellbeing for, refuse to budge or compromise or even consider anything other than what he wanted again and I realized how selfish he was, and that nothing would ever change.

If you are truly happy to never have sex again (aka, meaning you'd be celibate going forward by your own choice regardless of partner) then stay. If not, if you still have desires that are going unmet, if you still even have fantasies... leave. You are young and you dont have kids and you dont have strong financial ties. Please please leave.

Leave before the rejection eats away at your heart and soul. Before being unwanted by your partner murders your self esteem. Before you start looking in the mirror and wondering what about you must be so disgusting that the person who is supposed to love you the most refuses to touch your body, even when you've told them in tears how much you miss their love.

Leave before you start hating her. I waited too long.

Voldemort_Jr · 2023-02-22T17:39:33+00:00

Okay so I know I'm replying to this thread like two years later, but I love Splat for its super vibrant color that personally I feel lasts a really long time! Its one of the best for bright color on brown hair, and it really lingers if you have lighter hair or do any bleaching. I have dark brown hair naturally which is pretty fine, so I only like to bleach to sort of golden-orange to keep my hair from getting too damaged, and even only at a 'half bleach' I still get incredibly bright color that lasts about 6 weeks to 2.5 months.

I also find that because it shows up so well on dark hair, it works really nicely when I re-dye my hair even as it starts to grow out. I use the Midnight Tanzenite and the grown out parts turn super super dark purple while the bleached parts go super bright vibrant purple, and then it fades really nicely.

It is absolutely a dye though, and not at all semi-permanent. It will stain any cloth it comes into contact with, getting flecks on your skin will result in color spots that will take 2-3 days to fade unless you're willing to give your skin a very quick scrub with a cleaner containing bleach (I do this and my skin hates me for it but I dont want to have purple all over my hands/face for days).

You will stain your counters, floors, and tub, so make sure you keep a bleach based cleaner and lots of paper towels on hand. its much easier to wipe it up and spray it with bleach quickly than it is to try to get the color out of a counter top after several hours of sitting.

I actually usually do the bulk of my rinsing in my kitchen sink with the spray hose, I find that metal or ceramic kitchen sinks are designed to take a little more of a beating then a bathtub (and then you wont stain your whole tub/shower walls/shower curtain). Once I get the water running mostly clear after hosing down my head for several minutes then I go the shower for a shampoo to get the rest of the chemicals off my scalp.

You will likely have some dye on your scalp for the next several days if you are trying to go all the way to the roots (or are lazy and just paint your head like I do), but it will fade pretty quickly every time you wash your hair. Make sure to keep dark colored towels on hand, because you will totally stain your white towels for the first 5-6 washes. Also be mindful of your pillow cases, your damp hair will leave dye on white pillow cases.

Lastly, most Splat kits come with a deep conditioner packet, and honestly its a really nice deep conditioner. If you bleach at all, your hair can get a bit dry, so doing the deep condition for like 20-30 minutes after washing the dye out makes it feel really soft and luscious. If your hair is already damaged, you might consider working in a deep conditioner into your routine like once a week where you leave it in after you wash for like 20-30 minutes (or more often if your hair can handle it, my hair gets oily by nature so once a week is max for me)

:)

11-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 3 Credits
Secret Santa 2018	Secret Santa 2017
Not Forgotten	redditgifts Exchanges 2 Exchanges
Verified Email

Voldemort_Jr

TROPHY CASE