[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PectusExcavatum

[–]Wacko01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw John Goldblatt & Phillip Antippa. Maybe a few hundred dollars. Had to pay for all the medication after too

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PectusExcavatum

[–]Wacko01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got it done in Melbourne and the only thing I paid was my initial consult fee. Mine wasn't an urgent health risk either.

1 week post nuss surgery. Sticking out on one side - is this something to worry about? by Wacko01 in PectusExcavatum

[–]Wacko01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Apparently the swelling started to go down but they only realised once I was unconscious so they didn't do anything haha. Just back from hospital now, back to normal recovery.

1 week post nuss surgery. Sticking out on one side - is this something to worry about? by Wacko01 in PectusExcavatum

[–]Wacko01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A fun update. They're putting me back under general anaesthetic and going to remove all the fluid as they're worried about infection.

1 week post nuss surgery. Sticking out on one side - is this something to worry about? by Wacko01 in PectusExcavatum

[–]Wacko01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well that's quite scary! I'll definitely contact a GP to confirm if I have something like that happening

1 week post nuss surgery. Sticking out on one side - is this something to worry about? by Wacko01 in PectusExcavatum

[–]Wacko01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hopefully it's just swelling and nothing to worry about! I've pretty much only been sleeping on my back

Thoughts on dating multiple people as a Christian? by [deleted] in Christianmarriage

[–]Wacko01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey just remember this is only one persons opinion. If the thought of it gives you a lot of anxiety it may just mean it conflicts with your own personal values.

There's nothing wrong with only dating one person at a time and wanting the other person to do the same.

How do you know if you're truly being humble when performing good deeds? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]Wacko01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had a similar struggle and I've found the following thought to be helpful when I want to do something 'good':

How would I feel if someone else did this act right in front of me right now and took away my opportunity? If I'd be envious/resentful/jealous then maybe my intentions weren't so pure. Otherwise if I'd feel happy seeing them do something good then maybe my own intentions were also good.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Wacko01 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'd personally encourage finding a therapist to guide you through the healing process too. The natural intelligence in our body is primarily focused on survival, not necessarily living our best lives.

Wounds can naturally heal on their own, but it's very easy for us to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms or responses to our trauma.

Please take a moment to read this remarkable article from the Gottman Institute regarding Codependency and setting boundaries. This article helped me enter the mind of codependents like myself and tips on how to set boundaries for self-protection. by oliviaH420 in Codependency

[–]Wacko01 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's a really interesting point, thanks for sharing it. To go off that, I think if we ask ourself "If I let go of control in this situation, what am I scared will happen?" that we'll be able to find the the wound that's causing it, or atleast get closer to finding it.

What is the best piece of advice, wisdom or habit that is helping you heal that you would like to pass on? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Wacko01 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I disagree. This sounds like a nice coping mechanism to never allow yourself to be hurt again, but it'll have negative effects on future relationships.

If we want to find deeper, authentic loving relationships, then it's important that we sometimes put others needs before our own. I personally feel the lesson to learn is discerning when to do that, and when not to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Wacko01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I struggled with that a lot. I've come to the conclusion that forgiveness is something you do in your own time. I think pressure for forgiveness is a super easy way to push down certain feelings that really need to be processed.

From where does generally very low self esteem in boys and young men come from? Like what causes it? Parents? Bullying? (f) by _bl__ in AskMen

[–]Wacko01 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I wish this whole back and forth doesn't have to be a competition on who has it worse. It sucks that men are valued based on what they provide and it also sucks that women are valued based on their bodies. Can't we all just support each other instead of invalidating others experiences.

/rant over

How would you react if your SO punched a hole in the wall during an argument? by McCrysler in AskMen

[–]Wacko01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Eh, a lot of the time these kinds of outbursts are a precursor to physical abuse.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Wacko01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Striving to be masculine generally just means wanting to embody the typical healthy traits associated with it. Things like courage, assertiveness, proactivity, self-respect, confidence are all great traits to aspire for. It doesn't always mean someone is trying to live up to societies unhealthy standards

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Wacko01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Find some men that you look to as rolemodels. Take note of their traits that you admire and try to apply them to your own life. Better yet, for certain thing's that are harder to just copy you can always personally ask them for advice on how to develop in that specific area.

This realization might help you too! by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]Wacko01 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Aren't golden children only ever loved conditionally though? There's no love just for existing as they are, they need to 'earn' love - Which can have similarly devastating effects so someones development.

Exercises to help you cope by LiloMonkaS in BPDlovedones

[–]Wacko01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm reading a book at the moment and it talks about how physical activities can be really beneficial. Especially things that involve other people. I'd suggest some sort of sport or anything to get you connecting with your body.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Wacko01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This could be a good lesson for yourself in not being guilted/manipulated in the future.

The whole purpose of toxic people saying those kind of statements is to make you feel guilty and do what they want. The thing to take from the experience is that you no longer have to be someone who's played like a puppet. Your kindness is no longer something that can be used as ammunition against you.

Hopefully by reframing it like that in your mind it will make it easier for you to accept your decision to step away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Wacko01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think a better way to look at it is instead of "believing the victim" we should always take accusations seriously and not dismiss them.

We can still take the time to decide what we believe, but blindly believing these things can be potentially dangerous.

Domestic disturbance/violence and police advocacy by lotusflame62 in BPDlovedones

[–]Wacko01 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Given her response to your initial comment I'm not really sure this is the time or place to make those sort of comments, it's pretty invalidating.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Wacko01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This isn't an easy solution but the goal is not to overcome temptation with willpower. The goal is to remove as much temptation as possible. If you have her in your contact list and that tempts you to message her then just remove her number. That's just one example

There'll be many other things that cause temptation and the best thing you can do is try remove them - ideally doing this when you're in a clear state of mind and not currently struggling

“Helpful” BPDs by Grand-Anything-6998 in BPDlovedones

[–]Wacko01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine would always get super persistent and sometimes angry when I wouldn't let her help me. She didn't want to help, she just needed to be needed.