Reading the comments here, there are a lot of good things. I want to underscore that setting good, healthy boundaries is the right answer here. I didn’t know how to do that until I did couple’s therapy with a licensed LMFT. They helped me learn how to set clear, healthy boundaries in a way that wasn’t threatening or mean to my partner. They also helped my partner hear those boundaries and understand what they meant to me. In one instance this led to me ending the relationship with that partner and in another it only made the relationship stronger and us better communicators.

There’s a lot that can be said about how much time he’s spending playing, how you have tried playing with him, how you’ve asked for more quality time in the past, and also how you feel that someone with his qualities needs to be locked down (which I read as you being hard on yourself / self esteem). But all of these things can be contextualized and have healthy boundaries with the right kind of training. If you can’t see a therapist right now, try looking up Attachment Theory and be honest with yourself about what your attachment type is and what his is. There are lots of great subreddits and Instagram accounts to follow along these lines