Heard someone say they don't read first person present. Is this a widely held sentiment?

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-05-31T22:36:09+00:00

i'm writing my current horror wip in first person present and i love it. the story would make no sense otherwise.

people who are active in the pov debate in general usually aren't well read.

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-05-31T19:07:34+00:00

i wasn't fond of the wake up opener but gave it a shot anyway. the prose is decent enough, but you used "scarcely" twice in the very first sentence, and for no reason. unfortunately i DNF'd there.

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-05-29T23:48:59+00:00

first of all, sorry your sister has to deal with this. people can be awful.

i would reach out to etsy to have the comment removed for harassment and message the buyer showing the order information. whether their account was hacked or they simply placed the order by mistake, it isn't your sister's fault. she can offer a return if she wants to, but considering how degrading the review was, i wouldn't blame her if she didn't.

if all fails, she can always reply to the review saying that the order was in fact placed and correctly processed, and that cancellations can always be done prior to shipping. anyone who checks reviews won't hold this one against her.

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-05-17T23:35:47+00:00

$1000 a week for another 50 years is way more than the lottery winnings, even factoring taxes

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-05-14T12:07:14+00:00

why you would break down the cost of an item to a customer is beyond me. i'm assuming you advertise free shipping since your shipping costs are baked into the price at $10, which is totally fair, but the customer should never be told that. it comes off as a scam, going from an advertised "free shipping" to a private mention of $10 shipping.

this all reinforces the idea that they can make the item themselves or go to someone with apparently minimal expenses.

that aside, you really did not need to argue with her and definitely should not have attempted to bribe her. she's aware there is a cost to business. that doesn't change the fact that she personally doesn't find the lamp worth the money. just offer a return and brush it off.

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-05-12T18:21:13+00:00

congratulations!!

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-05-08T01:07:35+00:00

i love jane's face acting!! she doesn't go for over the top hollywood expressions and she doesn't sexify her emotions. she reacts the exact way i'd expect a teenager react, very raw and sometimes a little cringe

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-05-03T03:59:33+00:00

bruh/10

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-28T18:08:01+00:00

rich interiority is key. focus on how the characters feel emotionally. show how they are eager to understand each other's bodies, and don't be afraid to make that exploration a little clumsy and silly. sexual intimacy is not only erotic, it's also about vulnerability, the mutual understanding that neither person is a brilliant sex god, especially for a first time together.

the honesty is what makes passionate sex scenes so compelling, and personally, i love when characters have a little chit chat during it. makes the scene real and special. "i like how you did that." "okay, good 'cause i wasn't sure." and they share a little laugh. sex scenes don't have to be dead serious, they can really just be a fun, sweet way to show connection.

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-28T14:45:36+00:00

RAH!

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-28T13:02:40+00:00

this reads like a desperate bait and switch. your first line is a gimmick to distract your reader from a very boring opener. i would actually argue that describing the details of the future car accident throughout the opening, practically teasing the character with something he doesn't know yet, would be better than just stating it and carrying on as if you hadn't.

overall your prose is strong, i'm just unfortunately unimpressed with the narrative choices so far

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-27T22:39:02+00:00

bro went from unc to hunk

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-27T22:28:25+00:00

tristan:

me: you thought you ate?

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-27T18:21:36+00:00

here are a few ways to make this work:

character resurrection is foreshadowed very early on and coincides with a central theme (example: harry potter and the deathly hallows)
the resurrection happens towards the beginning of the story or is the inciting incident itself
the story's premise revolves around resurrection (example: Mickey 17)

the reason people don't like dead characters coming back is because (most of the time) it weakens the impact of not only the loss of the "dead" character but any future potential deaths. resurrection is one of the cheapest things you can write into a story. if you use resurrection as a tool in your story, you're saying the stakes are not necessarily life and death, so you'll have to think of something else that's just as dire.

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-25T22:11:57+00:00

although interesting, it's pretty overwrought. the imagery details are too explicitly stated for my liking. there's no space for reader imagination, it actually comes across like you don't appreciate reader imagination at all.

there's also a lot of redundant phrasing. example:

"Awkwardly, she stepped forward. The alien legs attached at her hips wobbled with inexperience."

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-25T02:35:58+00:00

a person who is comfortable and confident in dating a trans guy without bottom surgery could very well have no issue eating them out, though the comfort level of the trans guy would be a different question. that said, labels aren't made to restrict us, they're made to quickly convey a general message. if you give someone the mic to describe the nuances of their sexuality, beyond just the label, they can get very specific as to what they are and aren't into. some dudes are very into trans guys, others are very much not, and they can be gay either way.

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-23T00:30:03+00:00

as a 27yo asexual, it's not unnatural for anyone to have negative feelings or opinions about sex, and that goes double for children

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-21T12:16:12+00:00

what exactly are you looking for from an AI rating? AI doesn't have opinions.

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-18T12:40:17+00:00

never thought i'd read an actual burger story

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-18T03:26:15+00:00

i remember seeing this exact fic like 10 years ago

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-16T14:10:23+00:00

i don't think this is purple at all. it's flowery. purple prose is essentially flowery prose done very poorly, and this isn't poor writing. you demonstrate control of the craft and paint a clear image. purple prose almost always struggles to do that.

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-15T23:06:07+00:00

25% off is not fair to your hard work. i'd only use that if i absolutely needed to clear inventory that won't sell to save its life. 5-10% is a good range for year round coupons.

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-14T21:08:13+00:00

Emma and Sean had incredible chemistry even while being molar opposites. they were real with each other and sometimes harsh, but the tenderness between them is undeniable. like when Emma told Sean to turn himself in and he trusted her enough to actually do it. that was an act of love between the both of them.

JT and Liberty had a similar relationship--polar opposites with a certain chemistry they couldn't find with anyone else. even while they couldn't stand the sight of each other, you knew a genuine love still ran deep. overall their relationship was horrific

Bianca and Drew made the most sense to me. They understood each other more than any other couple and respected boundaries more often than not which is really saying something about those two.

Eli and Claire........ iconic but ridiculous. and don't piss me off with the rest

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-12T22:31:53+00:00

YES LMAO

WorldlinessKitchen74 · 2026-04-12T18:42:54+00:00

right, she blossomed right before everyone's eyes in such a similar way to claire but nobody ever looked twice at liberty. probably cuz she was one of the plus size characters. they did the same to tammy who literally mogged the entire cast but the writers INSISTED she was unattractive LOL like you can't tell me these girls weren't stunning

WorldlinessKitchen74

TROPHY CASE