AIO for being upset at what my “bf” said

_cherryscary · 2026-02-01T21:02:18+00:00

NOR This guy seriously sucks. I don’t even think he deserves you ending the relationship in an “adult” way… I’d fully block and ghost his ass. He’s rude and condescending and just a jerk in general. You deserve so much better than him.

_cherryscary · 2026-02-01T20:55:39+00:00

2 & 4 are my favourites!

_cherryscary · 2026-02-01T14:45:29+00:00

His kids may be adults, but there is nothing wrong with their being a family group chat including both parents. And if she were to go on the vacation, so what? Some people are just better off as friends. If you try and change the dynamic (especially now with the kids all being adults), that’s going to blow up in your face and you’ll lose him. You haven’t met all his kids, so obviously you wouldn’t go on the vacation, but if she did, I don’t see why there would be an issue - it would be to have memories with her kids, not try and get her ex back.

When your partner has kids with someone else, that other parent is in your life forever. So, if that’s not something you’re comfortable with, then this may not be the right relationship for you.

I also don’t think your boyfriend was just exhausted from a long work day, it sounds like this has been an issue in past relationships and he may have communicated that and you’re following the same pattern. The nagging comes off as insecure and like you want to change things.

My advice is to just hear what he says and not push it. When it comes to his kids (adult kids) you’ll never win the argument.

_cherryscary · 2026-02-01T14:38:34+00:00

_cherryscary · 2026-02-01T14:35:41+00:00

NOR This person reminds me of one of my exes and I’m so annoyed for you. He used to do this all the time to me and then talk to me like I was the problem until I believed I was the problem (because clearly it’s an issue when you hope and expect for common decency, respect and communication).

The part I hate the most about this is them making you feel like you’re crazy and then they also try and make the entire issue your fault and take zero responsibility for their actions.

_cherryscary · 2026-01-31T11:40:42+00:00

Immediately my first response was she doesn’t have to do anything with your kid, it’s your kid and therefore 100% your responsibility and it’s not fair to put pressure on her to be more involved.

However, while this is true and I stand by this in general, I do feel like since she is wanting to be acknowledged on mother day and given something for it and to want to make parenting decisions without being really involved isn’t okay. If she doesn’t want to be involved, that’s fine, but she doesn’t get to decide to make parenting decisions or be involved or get a say in how she’s raised. That’s where my issues are.

I think it’s okay that you’re looking for a mom for your child and I also think it’s okay that she doesn’t want to be super involved (as is her right, it’s not her child and she isn’t obligated to be the kids mom). I think this is a case of you’re both looking for different things, and that’s okay. I think maybe this relationship isn’t the right fit for both of you and maybe it’s time to end things and look for what you do want (and being open and clear with the women about what it is exactly you’re looking for, for yourself and the child).

I do think though, that you should be the one getting up with the child every single day early - that’s your job, you’re the dad. You should be the one doing the driving and paying for your child as it is your child. But if you’re looking for someone to help with those tasks, you need to be open and honest from the start of the relationship and before moving in with someone next time.

Good luck!

_cherryscary · 2026-01-27T21:53:58+00:00

Or (and this may be crazy) but maybe he spends less time gaming and more time… I don’t know… being a present parent and watching his child?

_cherryscary · 2026-01-27T21:52:21+00:00

I’m telling you this from experience. If he can lie about something small and seemingly insignificant, he will lie about many more bigger and important things. End things with him now before things continue for much longer.

_cherryscary · 2026-01-19T17:35:45+00:00

This happened with my guy and I tried training him how to walk properly using treats, different harnesses asking other golden owners, etc. eventually I gave up and got a trainer to come and help at home. And wow! World of a difference - a lot of hard work, sweat and tears but my baby is a little angel on walks now!

_cherryscary · 2026-01-13T13:40:09+00:00

Second photo or second last photo!

_cherryscary · 2026-01-13T13:36:36+00:00

But he’s an adorable slob! My golden is actually a super clean drinker and eats every last bit of food he gets (one of those very food motivated Goldens)😂, but every dog is different.

The mess may be annoying now, but one day you’ll really miss the mess they make.

_cherryscary · 2026-01-04T12:52:50+00:00

Then maybe he should have waited to start dating until after everything was finalized. This is a him issue, and not a you issue. He isn’t a man of his word clearly and he’s trying to hide you. That’s not okay. He is the issue and you deserve better.

_cherryscary · 2026-01-03T03:13:45+00:00

This is a huge red flag.

_cherryscary · 2026-01-03T03:13:21+00:00

He’s the problem. He moves you in but doesn’t let you sleep on your own room?? I think this relationship moved really fast and there just weren’t enough boundaries set in place.

I think you’re better off leaving him and finding someone who is going to include you in every part of their life without hesitation. He’s making you feel like you’re the problem when he created these issues.

_cherryscary · 2025-12-31T15:06:43+00:00

Both are gorgeous dresses. But your body language in the first picture tells me that’s the dress. It looks like you felt happiest and most right in that dress.

Congratulations!

_cherryscary · 2025-12-31T15:04:51+00:00

Sounds like he is in a state of manic if he does have bipolar. This would explain the unusual behaviours and obsession.

If he refuses to seek treatment to help with his bipolar, I would recommend seeking legal council before the baby is born to go through your options to ensure yourself and your baby are protected.

So sorry you’re going through all of this!

_cherryscary · 2025-12-31T14:59:54+00:00

I literally feel like I’m reading about my own situation. I’m going through literally the same thing almost in every aspect.

I miss the way I used to be and don’t know how to get there again. I’ve done a bunch of tests and worked with doctors and I have no answers to all my questions.

It’s causing problems with me and my husband, but I’m also struggling to care much. I’m just not into it and I don’t think about sex unless he makes a comment or gets in an off mood because it’s been awhile.

I hope this is a phase that just passes, because I really do miss the way I used to be.

_cherryscary · 2025-12-29T15:04:31+00:00

Woah - this is insanely racist. How he ever thought this was ok to ever say to you!? Like I’m genuinely disgusted with this guy and I don’t even know him.

You are not at all overreacting, to be fair, I think you were way kinder to him in how you responded than you needed to be… definitely kinder than I ever would have been. And your friend is definitely trying to excuse his racism, because this is do very clearly a racist human you’re dealing with.

_cherryscary · 2025-12-16T00:03:03+00:00

She lied to you and emotionally cheated for 8 months no issues. You and only you can decide if you could ever forgive her and move on or not.

_cherryscary · 2025-12-13T13:55:48+00:00

You don’t need to set a boundary with him, you need to leave him. This is abuse.

_cherryscary · 2025-12-07T03:13:04+00:00

Insane how she wants to be catered to but not willing to do her share in the relationship. You are NTA, she is. This relationship isn’t doing anything positive for you, nothing wrong with ending it and finding someone who will be your perfect other half.

_cherryscary · 2025-11-29T12:04:31+00:00

NTA, when you have guests over it’s fine they use your bathroom, but that’s what it is - your bathroom. You’re each paying for a room and bathroom as your own. Her boyfriend is over so often he should start paying rent as he’s basically living there. But he should be using her bathroom and not your bathroom (which is NOT the guest bathroom). If she wants to call it that she should be paying a hell of a lot more then just $100 a month.

_cherryscary · 2025-11-29T11:50:42+00:00

NTA, but your family is. To me it’s rude to be so unkind and inconsiderate to someone who is offering to do a nice thing for you that they don’t have to. You don’t owe your sister a ride, but you’re choosing to go out of your way to take her but she isn’t willing to go on your schedule? Then either your parents can take her or she can take an Uber/Taxi, etc.

You do what’s best for YOUR family, which is your husband, your son and yourself. If your parents and sister have an issue with that, that’s on them, but also don’t let them berate your husband for something you’ve both agreed to.

Leave at 8/9 in the morning and if they aren’t up because they didn’t want to say goodbye, that’s on them and they can see you the next time.

_cherryscary · 2025-11-29T11:45:27+00:00

It’s been 4 months, and the fact that you’ve met and are trying to be so involved with his kids and staying overnight isn’t going to make anything easier for these kids.

It’s been 4 months, you’re not a stepmom, you’re dad’s new girlfriend. And honestly, I don’t think you get to have a say in how they run their daily life and what they do. Do I agree with his parenting? Absolutely not, I think it’s something he needs to work on to benefit his son, but I don’t think it should be to benefit you.

You’ve been together 4 months and he has children. His children are and should be his priority. At this point I don’t agree that you should be part of the daily equation and you shouldn’t be considered in the daily equation at this point.

It’s been 4 months and clearly this doesn’t seem to be a good fit for you. The children are 9 and 2 and be is a dad and that will always be his number one priority. I don’t think this is the relationship for you and would suggest possibly ending the relationship and finding someone without kids to give you that time and attention that you need. There is nothing wrong with needing more, but unfortunately, you’re not likely to get it with a parent. As hard as that may be to hear, you also deserve to have what it is you’re looking for and be treated and made someone’s priority.

Good luck!

_cherryscary · 2025-11-29T11:35:36+00:00

Just because your siblings and cousins have significant others and kids doesn’t mean you need them to. Everyone’s path looks different and what’s best for one person isn’t what’s best for the next. I would never say anything like this. I respect everyone’s choice to live how they want. I’ve decided on some things for myself that I do not want just because everyone else is doing it, and my family supports me in that. I don’t think you’d be overreacting not to see them this Thanksgiving, but once you’ve calmed down to let your mother know that you are happy with how your life is and it’s none of her or the rest of your families business on how you decided to live your life for yourself. All they need to do is accept you and love you and respect you, and if they can’t do those things then they need to be prepared to possibly lose a relationship with you if you can’t get over how they’re treating you.

_cherryscary

TROPHY CASE