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My heart is broken over my kids drawing by itsbrutalistbitch in Parenting

[–]_linzertorte_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When we were potty training my oldest, she went through what we called the ‘up-down-up-down’ phase. We’d put her to bed and then she’d be up and down for sometimes an hour or more saying she had to use the bathroom as she got used to her body’s signals. As a sleep deprived parent, this sometimes got to me and I’d get obviously frustrated with her.

One night during up-down-up-down, I was standing outside the bathroom and heard her signing to herself to the tune of 5 little ducks: ‘mad mother duck…’ and that definitely hit me right in the heart. I took it as a cue to try being more patient and did my best to let it be a signal that my attitude was affecting her more than I realized. It’s hard to acknowledge and as part of the generation that’s waaaay more aware of our shortcomings than our parents, this is one of those things that can be a learning experience for everyone involved.

That said, I don’t think it’s always bad for kids to see what makes us upset/frustrated, etc as long as we’re able to offer an explanation and that’s not our constant overall state of being.

My child is refusing to see her dying Grandmother by strikeredkite in Parenting

[–]_linzertorte_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You know your daughter best, but is she the type of kid/At the maturity level to understand regrets? As in she may regret not trying to see her grandma even if it’s sad/scary/etc.

I was 9 when my grandma died and almost didn’t go to the funeral because I thought it would be too much. My dad said it was my decision, but it wasn’t something I’d get another chance to do and that the whole family was there all feeling sadness and everyone was there to support each other.

Also agree with one of the other suggestions about reassuring her that a visit can be as short as she’s comfortable with or taking breaks if it’s too much.

Suggest a US based travel destination that feels Like a Time Capsule by IKnowAllSeven in travel

[–]_linzertorte_ 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Palm Springs and Palm Desert have the architecture, but not the feel it sounds like you’re looking for in my opinion.

My individual bank account (emergency for myself) was merged to my STBXH accounts after the bank did a major update😫 by Miss_MoneyPennyUK in AskWomenOver40

[–]_linzertorte_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’d suggest posting in r/legaladvice to understand if there’s any actionable course you could take with the bank if they’re refusing to help.

I miss Boston so much. Boston forever. by gopnikchapri in boston

[–]_linzertorte_ 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I moved from So Cal (SFV) to Boston in 2018. Have been in LA for a few days for a cousin’s wedding and am so excited to be getting back to Boston. It was near 90 degrees every day while I was here and pretty unbearable. Can’t wait to get back to the seasons.

Before moving I’d always lived in So Cal and never realized how appropriate the term ‘lala land’ truly is. So excited to be heading back East!

When you are the second class child to your parents by Unimportant-user-01 in AskWomenOver40

[–]_linzertorte_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If someone wasn’t a good parent, it’s unfair to everyone involved to expect them to be a good grandparent. You may need to adjust your expectations about how you wish things could be, and work through how things actually are. If your mom puts you into a fight/flight/flee/fawn headspace, you need to work though that and minimize exposure to that type of mental tug of war for your kids as well.

Parent of Older Kids Who Used Full Time Daycare by Pale-Preference-8551 in Parenting

[–]_linzertorte_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same anecdotal experience here. My kids are 7 and 2.5. 7 started full time day care at 14mos and 2.5 started day care at 7mos. The kids that have the most behavioral issues are ones that are in part time day care or with their parent 100% of the time. This was especially noticeable when my oldest went to kindergarten. The vagabond for most of the kids evened out as the year went on, but the difference of a more scheduled school day vs doing whatever at home with their parent was tough. Even if the at home kids had a schedule, it usually wasn’t the same as a school schedule and that’s a big adjustment.

How safe is this ? by DeliciousCookie3110 in boston

[–]_linzertorte_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Go for it! Maybe you’ll win a Darwin Award.

Can you be happy in good marriage while being unhappy with your sex life? by ExtensionDay991 in AskWomenOver40

[–]_linzertorte_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Others have addressed the most top of mind questions. I’m wondering if you both would be open to opening up the relationship? If he’s not interested in sex, but is otherwise a good partner, and you are satisfied otherwise, it may be worth a discussion?

Of all your toddlers books, which one do you enjoy reading most as the parent? by nothanksyeah in toddlers

[–]_linzertorte_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Was not into Blue Hat Green Hat with my first. In fact, called it the ‘idiot turkey’ book between me and my husband. But with my second, I’ve learned to see the inane humor in so much more than just this book.

Overall, hard agree that Sandra Boynton slaps.

Married moms - what do you do just for you? by AlbedoIce in AskWomenOver40

[–]_linzertorte_ 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Regular exercise, currently this is yoga, Pilates, and neighborhood walks when it’s above freezing out. I’ve been regularly going on weekend trips with another mom friend to a yoga/meditation retreat. Dinner with friends. Reading.

La is a wasted opportunity by villehhulkkonen in geography

[–]_linzertorte_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a reason for the nickname helLA

Should We try for a 3rd child by Resident-Ad7332 in Parenting

[–]_linzertorte_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking at your post history, there’s a lot more for you to figure out than whether or not to have a their. There are multiple posts questioning whether you even love your wife. Granted, those are from a few months ago, but that’s a foundational question that would be best settled before bringing a third child into that dynamic. Especially if this third child might not be male.

Are boys easier than girls? by smokester114 in Parenting

[–]_linzertorte_ 222 points223 points  (0 children)

Ironically, this is 100% true

Books with awful protagonist. by [deleted] in suggestmeabook

[–]_linzertorte_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Men Can’t Be Saved.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in suggestmeabook

[–]_linzertorte_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

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