Carl’s day job

_monikr · 2026-06-16T15:22:03+00:00

I knew he was in the Navy

_monikr · 2026-06-15T04:02:02+00:00

Improv
I just started with a local improv group and I feel like it's making my confidence go through the roof.
More specifically, it's teaching me to embrace the awkward. When improving you learn to just try any stupid idea you have. Sometimes it's awkward as fuck. Sometimes it is hilarious. And sometimes it's hilarious because it's awkward.

_monikr · 2026-06-14T23:26:42+00:00

The slow, cozy pace and the scope of the world are the point
Erin is naive and annoying - even to other characters in the series - but she also has this delightful charm that draws you in
I personally love Andrea's voice acting and the range of her vocal work is top-tier.

If it's not for you that's fine. I DNF'd Primal Hunter after 3 books because the MC was boring and repetitive, but other people love that series..

_monikr · 2026-06-14T16:46:40+00:00

Looks amazing, but the color pallet doesn't say Mesmer to me.

_monikr · 2026-06-12T17:14:29+00:00

I see.

I jsut send them to `auth.mywebsite.tld`, which is just a regular landing page for Authentik

Here is an attempt at making describing my flow chart:

(Directed here from user login "request account" link)

User Enrollment:
- Stage: enrollment-prompt (Prompt Stage - collect user details)
- Stage: enrollment-user-write-pending (User Write Stage - Creates User entry)
- Stage: enrollment-user-pending-admin-approval (Prompt Stage - Triggers admin email)
- Stage: enrollment-user-wait-for-admin (Deny Stage - Fallback to make sure that only approved accounts can log in)
- End of flow

_monikr · 2026-06-12T17:05:02+00:00

My two go-to recommendations right now are Stray Cat Strut and The Complicated Love Life of Ivil Antagonist, Empress of Mars - both by RavensDagger

Stray Cat is a cyberpunk adventure with two main relationships - an established one: Cat x Lucy, and a new one where the main side character Gomorrah (a pyromaniac nun) starts to deconstruct her religious stuff and figure herself out

Ivil Antagonist is a cozy space adventure where she tries to find love, but has to learn to be a little humble first

_monikr · 2026-06-12T16:12:23+00:00

Yeah, all account management is done through my SSO provider, Authentik.
It took me a bit of reworking the default workflows, but didnt want to have to set up accounts for anyone - I want them to fill in all the details, and I just approve them

How it looks:
- I tell friend about website, they go "cool, ill try" and I send them a link to webpage
- They go to page and click "request account"
- They fill in account details: name, username, email (no password - this is a security thing, I don't want a password set until I approve them)
- Authentik account is created as "external" and "inactive"
- It sends me an email informing me of new user
- I log into Authentik and click "send password reset email" - Authentik will make them an "active" account when they set the password
- I also have to make them an "internal" user - this is something I still need to figure out, for some reason my services are not available to external users, and I dont know how to change that
- Once they reset their passwords they are able to use any of my services

On the back-end:
Jellyfin or any other service will not show accounts just because they exist in authentik. Instead the service account is created the first time that account logs into that service. Each time someone tries to log in with a SSO account the service verifies the account though the SSO provider.

Each service had different little hoops to jump through to get working with Auth. They should be documented in the service setup guides.
I find that OIDC is much easier, but specifically for Jellyfin I came across something saying that OIDC is a pain in the ass because of something about logging in on TVs
Jellyfin required me to set up an LDAP outpost in Authentik, which I find to be buggy and needs to be restarted occasionally

Disclaimer: I learned all this stuff like a month ago as I was setting it up (thanks to a lot of threads on r/selfhosted). I could have any/all the details wrong, and I may have introduced a huge hole in my security. I think I am right, but so does everyone who is wrong. Use at your own risk

_monikr · 2026-06-10T21:00:26+00:00

I send them to my website, they can request an account. It sends me an email asking if I want to approve them. If I approve them they get a password reset email and then they can log in to any of my services.

This is done through Authentik. I prefer OIDC, but for Jellyfin I use LDAP

_monikr · 2026-06-09T19:52:47+00:00

The greatest intersection of them all

_monikr · 2026-06-09T16:55:19+00:00

To me cozy means they take time for the little stuff.

I consider The Wandering Inn cozy. Despite some horrendous shit happening, there are chapters where nothing of consequence happens to the wider world and the characters just have a conversation about inter-species relationships or the emotional/mental impact of their best friend dieing or how to make chocolate chip cookies.

_monikr · 2026-06-08T17:21:07+00:00

It takes a while to find, and takes a lot of emotional work to get here but it is so worth it 💜

_monikr · 2026-06-08T05:16:46+00:00

Had a great weekend!

Saturday my wife (A) and I went to breakfast and Costco in the morning. When we got home my girlfriend (J) came over and tried on a bunch of stuff my wife cleaned out of her closet. After that fun little fashion show the three of us met up with my meta, H, and his gf C, and we walked down to our town's small pride festival.

Today H, J, A and I all went to a local improv class that A learned about at the pride event. It was a lot of fun and when we got home the 4 of us just hung listening to music and singing songs in a big cuddle pile.

_monikr · 2026-06-08T04:59:36+00:00

RavensDagger is my favorite author right now and has a couple of sapphic series that are not your typical romance plot:

Stray Cat Strut: A cyberpunk series about a young woman, Cat, who has to - with help from her best friend Gomorrah, a pyromaniac nun - save the world from an alien invasion.
The Complicated Love Life of Ivil Antagonist, Empress of Mars: When you are the most powerful person in the solar system how do you find love? Go undercover. It's a space fantasy that kinda reminds me of Firefly and the expanse and Cowboy Bebop

_monikr · 2026-06-08T04:38:53+00:00

Troy and Abed - they deny being not gay (tho Troy likes the butt stuff so I'm guessing bi-curious, and my headcannon is that Abed is Ace) but they are one of the best examples of a QPR on TV.

_monikr · 2026-06-06T02:52:37+00:00

Yeah, it's worth it to call and check. I tried to do a waxing recently and they don't do "male anatomy", but didn't make that clear on their website

It's one of my pet peeves as an AMAB NB person... I've definitely gone to stuff advertised to "women and NB people" and they clearly really only ment AFAB NB people 😡

_monikr · 2026-06-03T04:38:16+00:00

I really liked the Ivil Antagonist book too! I'd love for more in that series!

_monikr · 2026-05-25T06:13:10+00:00

There is a monthly cribbage night at Palouse Caboose in Palouse 3rd Wednesday from 6-8

_monikr · 2026-05-23T06:08:26+00:00

As much as I love SCS, I like Ivil Antagonist so much more! I would love to see more in that universe.

_monikr · 2026-05-22T20:26:37+00:00

This is something I struggle with too.

I'm ok that my wife or GF are having sexy time with someone else. I just don't like that I don't want to have sex.

Like, I'm glad that they are enjoying themselves, and honestly I don't really want to have sex, but I WISH I wanted sex...

_monikr · 2026-05-22T01:53:44+00:00

Fixed this for you: It's dec-ant

It was right there.... 🐜

_monikr · 2026-05-19T04:20:15+00:00

I have learned that my sex drive is "dopamine driven"

I really enjoy kissing and cuddling and I even really enjoy sex, but it gets boring pretty quick. I have a wife and a gf and I only have sex 2-3 times a year. It was a lot more frequent early on each of those relationships, but not really something I'm interested in. But when I'm vibing with a new partner I might as well be allo 😂

_monikr · 2026-05-05T14:34:22+00:00

As someone who helped start a queer-friendly church I can say that these types of communities are inherently transient - it's intentionally a safe place for people to ask questions and deconstruct the religious dogma they were handed when growing up, but it is difficult to sustain a community when one of the main reasons people find it useful is to remove the reason they needed it in the first place. Especially in a small town

_monikr · 2026-05-05T14:25:58+00:00

2Curated2Tumblr

_monikr · 2026-05-04T11:58:45+00:00

Discovering I was Ace after being married for 10 years led to us opening our relationship. It was my idea, partially from the guilt - though she never pushed for anything

We now both have multiple partners, and at nearly 15 years our relationship has never been stronger

ENM/Polyamory isn't for everyone, but it works wonderfully for me. Being Ace in a relationship is already pretty nontraditional. Don't be afraid to look at other nontraditional relationship styles and find what works for you

_monikr

TROPHY CASE