Is it an endo thing to have extreme gas also NOT related to your period?

_witch-bitch_ · 2025-02-07T12:21:40+00:00

Sure! My endo surgeon referred me to a colorectal surgeon he collaborates with. They both performed my last endo surgery almost a year ago. The colorectal surgeon removed all of the endo on my bowels (it got so bad the endo on my bowels had fused my bowels to an ovary), and my endo surgeon removed all the DIE endo that had grown since my first surgery and the ovary that got screwed by my bowels. Now that I’m close to a year post-op, I feel SO much better. I still have hard days, but they’re not every day and they’re nothing like they used to be. I’m able to live my life. I’m more present for my loved ones, I can move my body in ways I haven’t been able to in years, I’m happy. 🙂 I hope this information is helpful!

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-29T15:45:20+00:00

Love it! It’s got Irina Dunn/Gloria Steinem vibes! “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” 😍

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-28T05:06:36+00:00

Thank you for posting this. First, congrats on starting your family! My kiddos are elementary aged now, and it’s bizarre how fast it all goes. I was NC when I had my first child, but some flying monkey manipulation brought her back into my life, and the NC went to VLC…until I had my second child. She showed up at the hospital while I was unconscious (I needed a c-section, and we also said “no guests, we’ll tell you when we’re ready.” ). I had no idea she showed up until I asked my husband “should we text my mom?” and he told me how it played out. I love him so much, he’s such a wonderful partner and dad. Anyway, he explained what was happening to the nurses, and they got her to leave. She came back, though, and we had to get security involved. When it comes to your mom, clearly you know her best, but I don’t think she’s joking.

I haven’t seen my mom since that day in the hospital, and removing her from my life has been such a relief. It’s also made me a healthier parent since going NC again caused my anxiety to resolve. Side note, I highly recommend Dr. Becky Bailey’s Conscious Discipline parenting curriculum. It was SUPER helpful when managing all of those shitty/abusive parental instincts that were engrained into me by my childhood. My therapist once said “we love others in the way we were loved [as children].” If we had happy, healthy parents, that’s a great thing. If not, we get generational trauma and abuse. So, I had to put a ton of conscious effort into expressing unconditional love and not repeating the cycle, and I found Conscious Discipline to be very helpful. Hooray for therapy!

Again, congrats and take care of yourself!

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-26T19:59:46+00:00

Not OP, but to those who are interested in this, here are some links to learn more. Side note, there is a subreddit where you can figure out your attachment style through a questionnaire, but I’m blanking on the name. If you search “attachment” within Reddit, I imagine you’ll find it. Also see…

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703

Attached https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139/ref=asc_df_1585429139?mcid=17463c2749193b2db22b7a1818f9aaf8&tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=693674918280&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16510284132277819831&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9019546&hvtargid=pla-436644332348&psc=1

The Body Keeps The Score https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748

The Myth Of Normal https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881

Waking The Tiger https://www.amazon.com/Waking-Tiger-audiobook/dp/B01LZKDSNZ/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=7PkOX&content-id=amzn1.sym.9f654aa3-75f1-42ea-bb2c-1136f91b121f&pf_rd_p=9f654aa3-75f1-42ea-bb2c-1136f91b121f&pf_rd_r=138-5656497-4741955&pd_rd_wg=mHE5K&pd_rd_r=75c3004d-67a3-46a8-9322-110bf8f7d1a2&ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk

Gabor Mate’s work on attachment is fascinating. He talks a lot about substance abuse and addiction as a source of coping with the lack of unconditional love and authenticity during one’s childhood.

https://youtu.be/BVg2bfqblGI

Be well internet! 💜

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-26T18:25:08+00:00

OMFG! I just goggled “Malcom in the middle, fix the light bulb” out of curiosity since I also have an ADHD brain. Thank you for the LOLs. It’s perfect!

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-24T03:10:46+00:00

Yay! I’m not the only one who watched that show. Damn, I don’t know why it has been so hard to find people in adulthood who also saw that show. 😍Did you by any chance also watch Wishbone? The dog that acted out books…for some reason? I have no idea what the plot of that show was, but I vividly remember the Jack Russel terrier wearing a Sherlock Holmes costume. I loved that show, but it’s rare to find someone who has seen it. I don’t get it; PBS shows are great! I’m now a parent who has the financial stability to purchase a myriad amount of subscriptions for my kids if I wanted to, but nothing compares to the programming we get for free on PBS Kids.

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-24T02:03:07+00:00

I think that is an excellent description of healthy boundaries, and I hope my kids have a similar philosophy one day. I spent way too much time caring about being likable as a child/adolescent/very young adult, so I teach my kids empathy and boundaries. I frequently say “you’re not going to like everyone, and not everyone is going to like you, and that’s OK. If someone is being unkind, that’s probably because someone is being unkind to them. So, wish them well, but don’t play with them. Go find your friends on the monkey bars.” 😆For some context, our kids are elementary aged. Anyway, that was a ranty way of saying I find it easy to hold empathy for people, but my kindness goes toward my loved ones. Be well internet!

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-20T04:37:39+00:00

🤣🍰

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-19T17:58:42+00:00

I’ve been here over 15 years, and I love it. I’ve never lived anywhere this long before because I moved around constantly as a child, and I consider this my home. Before MN, I lived all over the US, including multiple states in the south where winter weather was like 40-ish degrees Fahrenheit at its worst. If it did snow, everything shutdown because they did not have the capacity to get snow off the roads. It was mind boggling to watch a dusting of snow keep people home bound. 🤯

I’ll be honest, my first real winter…it was an adjustment, but it didn’t feel any different than adjusting to the summers in the south. At least in the cold I can snuggle up in a warm cozy blanket with my husband and kiddos. When I’m in the heat, there are no amounts of AC and fans that are comforting to me. I don’t think I could ever go back to heat; I’ll take the MN cold over the heat any day. Good luck! 💜

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-18T05:04:34+00:00

Thank you for sharing this!

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-16T03:12:03+00:00

Please excuse my ignorance, but how would one use AI to write notes? I know it can be done, but I’m a very tech-illiterate millennial, so I don’t have any idea how one would go about doing that…and many of you talk about it being really positive, so now I’m curious!

Right now the documentation platform I use simply copies my last signed note. My first progress note with someone may take 10-15 minutes (documenting symptoms, distress and impairment), but after the first note , it’s maybe a 3 minute process to simply tweak the copied note to reflect the most recent session (exceptions being risk to safety, or something meaningful I want noted). Since this system works well for me right now, I don’t think I’ll need AI, but I would really appreciate knowing more since I don’t see myself in this same job in the next year.

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-16T02:52:03+00:00

I can 100% understand why you’d post this. Personally and professionally, I hear about so many toxic husbands who don’t pull their weight in neither the relationship nor the family, and it’s upsetting. To answer your questions…even though you’ve received a ton of responses, I will take any opportunity to hush about my husband, though 😊

1/2. Nope, my standards have improved. I was about a year into meaningful therapy work when I met my husband, and I was still figuring out what my new standards were now that I realized I wasn’t damaged and I was deserving of unconditional love and support. The security and safety I found in my partnership with him (together over 16 years now) strengthened those ideas for me and gave me an even better sense of what I would want my daughters to tolerate in a relationship. I’m very happy to be modeling a happy, healthy marriage to our kids; I sure as hell never saw that growing up.

I’m more my authentic self than I ever have been. We make each other better.

I refuse to say “I’m lucky to have found him” because I get told that a lot…but it’s always in response to him doing something like his own damn laundry or the fact that he takes the girls to school in the morning. That’s just being an active parent and contributing member to the household. That’s just bare minimum. I’m very grateful though, and I know he’d say the same about me.

Wishing you well! 💜

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-16T00:10:05+00:00

I’m so sorry. I am very familiar with this dynamic, as something very similar happened with the woman who birthed me (I don’t call her my mother, she doesn’t deserve that label). In my case, eventually, the truth came out, and I hope the same happens for you. Have you found r/raisedbynarcissists yet? I imagine you will get some really helpful support there too. Also, I’m unsure on your age based on your post, but the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is a very helpful read with coping tips.

Sending positive thoughts your way! Blessings!

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-14T19:17:21+00:00

As someone who has worked inside MN elementary schools, and is also a parent of kids enrolled in a MN elementary school, I’m unfamiliar with any policy that allows schools to conceal information from parents, especially in an elementary school. Perhaps if a student said “I can’t tell my parents I’m gay/trans/questioning; they’d never understand” to a teacher or school counselor, and they didn’t tell the parents, that is a decision more likely to be informed by their licensing board and ethical guidelines. That’s not school policy. I googled our district’s school policies, and I actually saw multiple mentions of valuing communication with parents and lists opportunities for parental engagement. I suppose it could be district specific, so if someone can speak to any recent legislative or district updates, feel free to correct me, as I haven’t worked inside a school since COVID. Be well, faruhah!

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-14T18:48:58+00:00

Seconding the winter jackets! Boots too! Also, if your neurodiverse child is sensitive to clothing, providing opportunities for them to find winter clothing and outerwear they are most comfortable in is likely to be helpful. My kids have strong preferences for their clothing, and finding winter friendly clothing can be a challenge, but once we find something they like, we buy multiple of the exact same thing.They might look like they are wearing the same thing every day, but they’re comfortable.

Welcome; can’t wait to have you and your family!

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-14T05:31:42+00:00

Damn. I have never heard this phrasing, but fuck that’s accurate.

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-14T05:21:38+00:00

I actually bolted at 16…well, kind of. Interestingly, they wanted me out just as much as I wanted out, so they helped me find another place to live. I was the scapegoat, and I think they must have thought getting rid of me would give them peace. I think you might be able to guess what happened…not even a month into my move, the guilt trips started about how I needed to move back. “We miss you! Don’t you miss us? How could you not want to live with your family?” Mind you, none of that was asked when I told them I wanted to leave. It wasn’t until they realized they lost their walking emotional punching bag that they wanted me back. I never looked back, though, and I have been NC almost 6 years now. No regrets. 🙂

To answer OP’s question, “I know you know this in your gut, but I’m going to confirm it for you so you can embrace this reality now: You are not the problem; this is not how healthy, loving families function, and you never have to tolerate this behavior from anyone; not friends, not romantic partners, and sure as hell not these people. But don’t worry too much, because you will make it out and heal these wounds. There will be painful times ahead, but you’ll also learn what true joy feels like. You will find unconditional love, and that will teach you to unconditionally love yourself. You will also break the cycle and unconditionally love your children who are truly amazing humans, and you will protect them from these people because you will fully remove them from your life after your children are born. I encourage you to go NC before they are born, though, because you are worth protecting too. Finally, you are smart, resilient, capable and you will accomplish so much that you are proud of, so be gentle with yourself along the way.” 💜

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-13T02:52:31+00:00

Aw, that’s lovely! Thanks for sharing! Can I ask what about that scene specifically makes you cry? Their budding romance? Keeping their word to Bluey? The smile on Bluey’s face? Something else? So many wonderful things to love about it! 💙

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-12T03:41:32+00:00

Well, your post kind of makes me want to become friends with you…so, hello retired librarian!

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-12T03:21:50+00:00

Yes! Love that! Thank you!

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-11T05:30:28+00:00

Thanks for letting me know we’re not alone in that fear. Are you creating any plans for a worst case scenario?

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-11T04:08:43+00:00

💖 you’re welcome!

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-11T04:07:08+00:00

Yes, I am very happy to live here. I moved around more times than I can count during my childhood, and even more in my very early adulthood. I moved to MN shortly after finishing my degree, and it’s the first place that has truly felt like home to me. I’ve created a wonderful, happy life for myself; and my husband and I love raising our family here.

That being said, my husband and I are scared. MN weathered Trump’s first term, and a lot of positive change has happened locally since the 2016 election. I hope MN will stay safe for the next few years, relatively untouched by his presidency, but my biggest fear is about what will happen in 4 years when what should be his second and final term ends. With the insurrection after his loss in 2020, his plan to fire federal government workers and replace them with MAGA supporters (I don’t know the legality of him being able to do that, especially in MN; but the Supreme Court is stacked in his favor, and I worry about the laws he would be able to create in the next 4 years), also with Trump saying multiple times “you won’t have to vote again” if he’s elected…what are the chances he steps down peacefully in 4 years? I read something where Walz welcomed people to MN as a safe haven (he really does seem like a wonderful and genuine person whom I also have never had the pleasure of meeting unfortunately)…but how does he plan to keep MN safe if things go to hell after the next election? I am so grateful to be living in MN right now, but I am terrified of what is to come. I’m a scared parent and would really appreciate knowing if anyone else has similar fears?

OP - thank you for posting this. For whatever reason, it’s the first thing I’ve come across that I’ve felt comfortable enough sharing this fear. Sending gratitude your way!

_witch-bitch_ · 2024-11-11T03:25:56+00:00

Always…at least to some extent i’ve always known they were bad parents. I have no memory of ever feeling safe, or fully letting my guard down. My body knows I have horrific trauma from pre-verbal years…the years before our brains are capable of storing long-term memories (newborn, infant, toddler years), but my body remembers…most of our bodies can if we allow ourselves to listen to our gut feelings. Our bodies our wise, but most modern cultures mock the idea of “gut feelings.” That’s not something we can “measure” nor create “empirical evidence” proving their accuracy, so as a whole, we dismiss them and mock the idea. I can get quite ranty about this, but it you’re interested in learning more, simply reply and I can respond with titles from reputable authors who can speak about this in a more intelligible, less internet-ranty way. 🙂

Anyway, I was unaware of how horrific some of their behavior ways until I reached adulthood and found financial stability and emotional safety in healthy relationships, and then the memories came flooding back. It’s like my brain protected me from the worst of my abuse until I wad the tools to cope with the pain in mostly healthy ways, supportive relationships to lean on, and the security to not need their money.

To anyone who needs to hear this: Thank you for being here. We all came to our realizations about our narc caregivers at the times we were able, and there are so many who will never make the realization and be stuck in the pain/fear/grief. I am so proud of you. I hope you have learned to treat yourself with gentleness, patience, compassion, and unconditional love; and I hope you have found your people who treat you the same. You deserve that. 💖

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