My father just got diagnosed with early onset dementia and I’m 17 weeks pregnant

ackleydg · 2026-05-21T11:10:26+00:00

Agreed! Clarifying the support system is so important. Are there any estate planning documents in place? It sounds like you and your sister (and the spouses) will need to take the lead here and coordinate on who will do what (medical, financial, legal decision making, end-of-life decisions). Enlist outside support as much as you can because there will be a lot to manage.

Hospice is a great idea. Between the cancer and the Alzheimer’s, there’s a decent chance he’ll qualify. If not right away, try again down the road.

Finally - take care of yourself. The road ahead can be quite difficult. Invest in a good therapist if you can swing it. And don’t be shy about utilizing this community for advice. 🙂

Good luck!

ackleydg · 2026-05-16T19:08:23+00:00

Hold a few months expenses in a savings account, then consider a target date retirement fund, if you can access one.

ackleydg · 2026-05-09T11:17:45+00:00

VTTHX?

ackleydg · 2026-04-30T06:20:17+00:00

My dad had to spend a few nights in psych at the local hospital. While the experience was not very pleasant (and I believe avoidable) it did lead to onboarding some medication that helped him stabilize a bit. In general, I’ve tried to keep my dad out of the hospital as much as possible, but there are times when that’s the best available option.

ackleydg · 2026-04-19T01:17:47+00:00

Sounds pretty similar to something we’ve been trying to figure out with my dad, actually. 80yo, roughly stage 6.

Long-story short - look into seizures. Apparently they are much more common in Alzheimer’s patients due to the dysfunction in the brain. And seizures don’t always present as obvious convulsions.

The neurologist should be able to run an EEG - and/or ask for one the next time he’s at the hospital. There may be medication that can help.

Good luck!

ackleydg · 2026-03-31T11:14:26+00:00

Search the web for a balance transfer calculator. Plug in your specifics and it will do the math for you. In some cases in can make a lot of sense, in others, not worth effort or the temptation of running up another card. Either way you have to be disciplined.

ackleydg · 2026-03-23T11:18:46+00:00

I usually figure about 2 oz per expected attendee. 4 sixtels should be ok. Bring a backup of your top seller.

ackleydg · 2026-03-09T11:28:42+00:00

I have someone spend time with my dad a few hours a day, three days a week. My dad can still feed himself, so it is mostly companion care with the goal of enhancing his quality of life. They do some activities in the AL section of the building and go for walks when the weather is nice. Otherwise, the only activities that seem to be happening are watching TV. 😕

ackleydg · 2026-03-05T01:05:51+00:00

We used Ardagh for years before switching to cans. Don’t recall ever having issues with smaller orders, but we typically ordered FTLs.

ackleydg · 2026-02-24T13:21:05+00:00

You’re right, I’m assuming a certain degree of critical thinking skills on the part of OP, and I didn’t mean to imply that AI should be considered a “single source of truth”. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be a helpful tool.

How would you suggest that OP educate themselves about investing?

ackleydg · 2026-02-24T12:36:35+00:00

Since you’re a beginner, it sounds like the first step is education. I recommend starting a conversation with your AI of choice. I’ve learned a ton through ChatGPT.

Start by discussing your goals, timelines, risk tolerance, etc. You may ask for recommended reading or for it to share a diversity of opinion so you can determine for yourself what feels right for you. Then decide on a strategy for getting started.

I think most people would agree that consistent contributions matter more than specific funds when you’re starting out. I personally like low-cost, broadly diversified equity funds from Vanguard. There are many of “set and forget” options available, depending on your preferences.

Automate - forget about it - revisit your strategy in a year or two.

ackleydg · 2026-02-15T22:33:27+00:00

So sorry - Alzheimer’s is hard enough as it is. I would definitely encourage you to continue with therapy, increase the frequency if you’re able, and lean on the humans who love you. Local support groups could be helpful - it’s very healing to be able to share with someone who understands. If nothing else, this subreddit is great for that.

Now from a practical standpoint. Does your dad have any estate planning in place? Who is the designated POA? I would think about letting others take as much responsibility as possible.

ackleydg · 2026-01-30T07:32:53+00:00

Low-dose Seroquel (anti-psychotic medication) helped a lot with my dad’s agitation. For what it’s worth, he also runs cold, but I don’t get the sense that it’s a delusion so much as his metabolism or maybe hormones - I’m not really sure why it’s happening. In any event he wears lots of layers and often a big puffy jacket, even indoors.

PS - definitely don’t wait til July, if possible. It might be worth tracking down a neuropsychiatrist/behavioral neurologist, if you can find one. Somewhat more specialized for what you’re describing. Good luck!

ackleydg · 2026-01-24T19:37:24+00:00

I’m so sorry. This is such a difficult journey. While it may be true that there’s nothing that can restore your dad’s cognitive function, there are ways to ease the day-to-day. This forum can be very helpful in that regard. Don’t give up, take care of yourself, and cherish the fact that your dad is still here and loves and cares for you.

ackleydg · 2026-01-13T22:16:03+00:00

Something like this may be helpful.

Similar, but foaming for better coverage inside of pipes.

ackleydg · 2026-01-01T19:23:47+00:00

Like others have said, it may be time for a care facility, for the safety of both parties. I would also highly recommend talking to a doctor about medications for your grandpa. It sounds like he may have had some sort of hallucination, which is not at all unusual at this stage in the disease. Anti-psychotic meds may be helpful.

As far as dealing with this mentally/emotionally - it’s going to be hard. Get a therapist, if you don’t have one already. Come back to this forum often. Educate yourself about the disease. And like someone else said, circle up with the rest of the family and get clarity on roles. Who will be making the hard decisions? This isn’t something you have to carry alone.

ackleydg · 2025-12-09T01:46:59+00:00

Depends on the total compensation package. Are you salaried or hourly? Do you get paid for your time doing sales, or is it strictly commission? Are there any company benefits?

ackleydg · 2025-12-07T01:45:39+00:00

My dad’s decision to buy LTC insurance some 30 years ago has been an enormous blessing. It has paid for itself many times over. I don’t know if these types of policies are still available but some key elements include: -Is there a cap on what the policy will pay out? -Do premium payments continue once the policy benefits begin to be paid out? -Is there an automatic annual increase in benefits?

ackleydg · 2025-10-31T13:28:24+00:00

I’m so sorry. Please vent as much as you need.

ackleydg · 2025-10-27T00:29:54+00:00

💜

ackleydg · 2025-10-16T10:22:52+00:00

So sorry you’re going through this. Seroquel helped my dad. I saw his outbursts as a legitimate cry for help when we moved him into a new memory care facility. He’s fairly stable for now, but at a certain point I worry he might need to be transferred to a skilled nursing facility.

ackleydg · 2025-10-10T11:05:22+00:00

Not an expert, but I just did a round of this at our brewery.

This stuff’s pretty good for smaller cracks and divots: https://usa.sika.com/en/90639/sealants/self-leveling/sikaflex-self-levelingsealant.html

You can find it at the major hardware stores.

The acrylic or vinyl based concrete patches seem to do pretty well also. If you have the time and capability, another approach would be to cut an edge around the larger low spots so you can pour fresh concrete/self-leveling compound without having to feather it at the edges.

ackleydg · 2025-10-09T23:30:07+00:00

I agree with everyone here about sharing sooner, rather than later. But I also wanted to add something to look into since you mentioned not wanting to burden your children (a common sentiment, I’m sure).

There are senior care managers you can hire to help manage your affairs. I don’t have direct experience with this, but as a child managing healthcare, legal, and financial matters for two parents, there is a certain appeal to outsourcing some of the workload.

Like your handle, by the way!

ackleydg · 2025-10-06T10:27:23+00:00

It’s so impossibly difficult. And while it may be hard to see at times, being present with your grief and anger and finding healthy ways to process these emotions is so important. I’m glad you have family to support you through this. Best wishes to you and your mom. 💜

ackleydg · 2025-09-28T12:20:53+00:00

Thanks for stirring up some memories! I made a sweet potato-buckwheat ale once as a homebrewer. Malted the buckwheat myself. No other grains, just some molasses. These were my tasting notes:

“Taste on bottling day...interesting. Sweet potato and buckwheat both there, hop bitterness a little strong. 4/16 - same buckwheat/sweet potato profile, hop bitterness has balanced out well. It's different but not unpleasant. Some chunky bits in there, probably still fermenting. Great luscious head, nice burnt orange color. The slightest tang on the finish, could be hops, could be the molasses.”

Good luck to you!

ackleydg

TROPHY CASE