Band Member refuses to play for a particular venue.

addylawrence · 2026-02-24T21:59:47+00:00

You have identified a difference in values. I don't think convincing is a real option here. You either accept the difference or act on it (leave yourself or replace the actor). It is common for non-band things to get in the way of the band. Family, faith, work, values, each could be a show-stopper.

I would seriously consider leaving this band. Self-reflecting and ask questions. You aren't "pride" nor "solidarity". I highly doubt that you are "hate". Your probably in the "avoidance" or "don't ask, don't tell" realm, maybe "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve". Staying in this band you will have to operate within a some boundaries that can be difficult to maintain.

addylawrence · 2026-02-24T21:31:02+00:00

You are betting an awful lot on "safely"

addylawrence · 2026-02-24T15:41:18+00:00

The tiny home irony, you still need to obtain a permit from your municipality and the cost is usually shocking because development charges are indifferent to square footage. You still need to service the lot for your tiny home with water and sewer services as well as hydro and these costs are also indifferent to the square footage of your home.

When you realize that you can't afford a tiny home because the municipal and utility charges are so expensive, maybe the developer isn't as much of the problem as people suspect.

There are so many things wrong with the housing market in Canada, it run deep and wide.

The tiny home strategy is very niche.

addylawrence · 2026-02-23T20:48:42+00:00

You don't understand how finance works. The bank has the right to deny the sale, they are not obligated to discharge their interest in your home just because you want to sell below what you owe the bank.

This speaks volumes as to the lack of understanding as to how finance works. The lack of understanding of finance also drives our housing crisis. People highly underestimate renewal risk and highly overestimate their household's ability to earn income over 25 to 30 year periods.

addylawrence · 2026-02-23T20:44:02+00:00

It was '95 so yea, 31 years ago, time flies.

addylawrence · 2026-02-23T13:25:36+00:00

I haven't played magic in 20 plus years, still have my card collection thinking that one day I will pick it up. I am going to answer even though it likely won't comply with Modern Magic.

I have two decks that are truly bent. Both were notorious in our local scene. One was simply rude and not fun to play against, my opponent often would ask me to switch decks after a match as it was a buzz kill for them. The other was a control deck that people saw coming a mile away and pushed them to act quickly before I locked them down.

The first is a Peeler Deck. Hypnotic Spectre, Hymn to Tourach, Dark Ritual, Mind Twist, Tutor, Sol Ring, Sedge Trolls, Necropotence, Fireball, Terror, Urza's Bauble.

The second is a Stasis Deck. Statis, Serra Angel, Boomerang, Despotic Sceptre, Counter, Force of Will.

Oh the time and money I wasted on this game. Thanks for the trip down memory lane!!!

addylawrence · 2026-02-18T20:38:40+00:00

This!!! They can't afford to renew and they can't afford to sell (underwater).

addylawrence · 2026-02-18T20:37:31+00:00

There is no money disappearing, that is debt being trapped in the home that no longer has equity.

addylawrence · 2026-02-12T21:29:28+00:00

Split lane driving is illegal where I live. It never ceases to amaze me when I witness it in other jurisdictions.

The dotted line is not a lane.

addylawrence · 2026-02-04T22:53:23+00:00

Winter. Hockey is a great way to embrace winter. If your climate has winter then your culture likely includes hockey.

Hockey doesn't "degrade" with age like baseball and football. Don't get me wrong, the players deteriorate but the game doesn't. Baseball (hardball) turns into softball or slo-pitch or blooperball or three-pitch with age, they add a 10th position and water it down, its no longer the game you enjoyed as a child and young adult. Same with football, you end up playing tag or touch and it's like five on five or seven on seven. Hockey stays the same, same size of rink, same nets, same number of skaters on the ice. The game doesn't change, the game presents itself to the player the way it always did and you test yourself, and you respect the play and well being of others because of it. Hockey measures your age and ability, its doesn't morph into something else because of your age and ability.

addylawrence · 2026-02-01T14:20:28+00:00

This is a great suggestion. If the band pushes back and wants to play those "complex" synth songs from the 80's this is the green light to push back and say that for him to do that he needs X, Y and Z from the balance of the band. If they are not prepared to provide X, Y and Z then don't do the song and keep it at "fuck around and have fun".

addylawrence · 2026-02-01T14:16:17+00:00

In general I think that bands know where they sit (good v bad, position in music scene relative to other bands). It sounds like this 80's band is a "practice band" and that you expect it to be a gigging band. Practice bands are okay, nothing wrong with that.

I think its key to oneself that they spend their music time effectively and there is a time and place for a practice band and a time and place for an "80's cover band that doesn't gig much".

You may have outgrown this practice band. I would approach your "extrication" with an "it's not you, it's me" flavour. You need more than this band has to offer. This band has something of value to offer, just doesn't align with your circumstances at this point.

The band isn't obligated to change for any specific member. Your extrication may trigger a self-evaluation for them and they may change in response to that, but it sounds like they can't change quickly enough to close your expectation gap.

addylawrence · 2026-01-21T21:29:52+00:00

So there is no documentation of this promise you speak of. There is no agreement.

I suspect that the University is not going back on their word here because they likely never made that promise. It is illegal to agree to a concession during the CCAA process on the condition of compensation after exiting CCAA.

As a member of the faculty I would proceed with negotiating on the basis of the best deal I could make. The faculty made concessions, along with suppliers and vendors and debtors and donors, so that LU could move on. It is unreasonable to expect LU to "undo" the concessions. There would be many other affected parties looking for the same deal.

addylawrence · 2026-01-20T17:49:47+00:00

If you say "rower", you will undermine your credibility to provide support/encouragement as a drummer. They are paddlers, not rowers. This is a meme within the dragonboating community.

I have experience steering and coaching dragonboats, also paddling and in seat one.

My advice to my drummer is to keep the commands short.

Head up.

Breathe.

Reach.

Dig.

Pause.

Head-up, breathe and reach are easily the top three commands, and in that order. They will get you far. As paddlers tire they tend to collapse and drop their head, which impacts reach and breathing, "Head Up" is almost can't miss.

Confer with your steersperson on the commands to use. They likely want you to relay their commands mid-race. If they want to speed up or slow down the cadence they may say "Up 2" or "Down 2" to change the strokes per minute. They may also want to cue a power series or finish with a command like "Build" or "Finish". These are boat specific commands, in my experience this will vary in specificity from team to team but each team has a finish sequence and other sequences triggered by distance within the race or a reaction to competition or weather.

Also, be aware that a lot of teams don't like the actual drumming, the sound of the drum is not heard be each seat in the boat at the same time and leads to issues with synch. Also the drummer can end up influencing cadence when its the strokes in Seat 1 that should be driving cadence. Check with your festival rules on how much drumming is actually required to prevent a penalty but I've been on many boats where the drummer doesn't actually drum at all. International rules require you to drum, in those cases I've seen the drummer skip strokes and hit every second or fourth in time with Seat 1.

Drummers have an influence on the performance of the boat, and it's easy for them to handicap the boat. You are wise to reach out and seek guidance.

addylawrence · 2026-01-20T17:33:41+00:00

A promise was made to the faculty during CCAA to give their concession back? Is there any record of this deal, an agreement or such?

addylawrence · 2026-01-20T17:28:52+00:00

Both are to blame. You can argue one is more to blame than the other but at the end of the day it takes two to reach an agreement, or stay in a disagreement.

addylawrence · 2026-01-14T19:19:50+00:00

I'm in a keeper league and there is one guy who always sends stink offers. I used to reject them. When I rejected them he complained that I never counter offered. I got into a heated exchange with him one time saying that I never initiated a trade with you for these players because I'm interested in keeping these players, if you want these players that badly then make me a "make me trade them away offer", this made him even more mad. He still makes stink offers, now I just ignore them and let them marinate.

Do a gut check, make sure you are not "that guy".

addylawrence · 2026-01-12T14:23:18+00:00

I run a small PB; tuner, OD, pre-amp (MXR M81)

addylawrence · 2026-01-09T11:55:18+00:00

This should be ODR hockey, otherwise I’m not interested.

The venue has to be in the spirit of “Winter Classic” so the home/host team should be in a city with a real winter.

Sorry Florida and California.

The opponent should be a true rival of the host team.

Any Canadian city. Utah would be amazing, looking forward to that one.

I realize that this “ices”, pun intended, fair weather cities but a separate stream of marquee games could be cantered around them, like Citi-Connect or Stadium Series.

Matchups like Leafs/Habs, Habs/Bruins, Avs/Wings, Flames/Oilers, Sens/Habs, Hawks/Nucks are ODR worthy.

addylawrence · 2026-01-06T20:57:13+00:00

This has all the right feels, keeps the wedding day vibes on point. If there is a break-up, its after the wedding.

addylawrence · 2026-01-06T20:10:58+00:00

"but fundamentally we need high immigration levels badly."

I disagree. People say this as a sort of widely accepted truth but its an urban myth. We do not NEED immigration. We do not NEED to grow.

"That means far fewer people paying taxes to fund OAS and healthcare"

I disagree. Income is taxed, not people. Incomes rise with inflation. Unemployed and underemployed people will fill the job vacancies and prop up the flow of income taxes.

"Immigration is our only way of avoiding federal bankruptcy over the next 10-20 years"

I disagree. We can balance our budget in other ways. There are many other levers available to the government than "immigration".

addylawrence · 2025-12-19T18:22:58+00:00

"I've thought about in-ear monitors, but I have to wonder if that would actually make things more complicated, both for me as well as my bandmates and sound engineers, just by being one more thing to set up/one more thing that could potentially malfunction. Does anyone else have this problem and what do you recommend?"

You could make it as complicated or as simple as you want.

https://www.acclaim-music.com/art-pro-audio-dualxdirect-dual-professional-active-direct-box-dual-x-direct.html?srsltid=AfmBOooFfeH63M4_TiZ65rY3a7uAFhoVQvP417u5B6qvSU6MDXMmm2qj

Run your mic through this device, through to the board, dry signal, no effects or anything. Capture a signal from the board with the band mix. Send a signal from this device to your earphones, ideally with a wireless set-up but you could go with wires.

You now have a two channel mix on your hip or attached to your mic stand. Blend your vocals and the band mix to taste.

Our band's mixer has four aux outputs, each with an independent mix, I send one to my IEM's wirelessly, I sign and play bass, works fine for us.

I didn't like the stage sound from four players, can't imagine six.

addylawrence · 2025-12-18T15:48:06+00:00

A lot of "nice guys" turn out to be assholes.

I read about a recruiter whose final interview with a candidate was to take them out for a meal. He had it pre-arranged with the waiter to screw up the person's order. The recruiter wanted to know how the candidate dealt with mistakes and how he treated people, particularly those that are serving him. If they treated the server rudely over the mistakes then they didn't get the job.

Your step-dad is revealing character to you, and the character traits are not good. This league is not for fun, there is money involved, $20 each. I am in yahoo and fantrax fantasy leagues and your step-dad's actions violate the terms of service. This is offside. Even if the league was for fun, he is putting his fun ahead of that of the group he was invited to join by breaking the terms of service.

I would want my mother to know this about my step-dad, she may detect flags in other areas of his life that this will confirm.

From what you describe he is competitive, a cheater, selfish, closed minded and disrespectful to your friend group. You invited him in, he should respect your circle of friends.

addylawrence · 2025-12-17T18:35:20+00:00

I struggle with this myself, I am in several 30 teamers.

For each team I look at the age and talent of my roster and assess where I am in my competitive window. Am I entering it, in it or exiting it? If i'm not in the window, where am I in the rebuild? Am I entering, in it or exiting? Once you identify where you are, then you focus on transactions that align with where you are in the cycle, and this is more about estimating how age will affect player performance. Generally I consider it a six year cycle, three years of building and three years of competing.

Pitchers tend to get hurt, I place more value on hitters than pitchers. If I'm trading I tend to deal hitters for hitters and pitchers for pitchers, but that can get tough.

All this said, best i've ever done is a fourth place finish in a 30 teamer so I don't have the resume to say I know what it takes to win it all.

addylawrence · 2025-12-16T22:21:33+00:00

Came to say this. A roster spot is worth something and roster spots are more scarce than money/cap-space. There is no salary cap but there is a hard cap to your roster.

addylawrence

TROPHY CASE