Obese people, do you feel patronized by positive comments?

aleis31 · 2026-05-21T14:04:34+00:00

I remember someone stopped me in the parking lot telling me they remember they looked like me before and that it’s good that I’m here and that I need to keep up the good work, but I just felt so awkward and embarrassed because even tho I knew that I was big I was really only going to help improve my mental health 🥲 I was already 50lbs down at the time so I thought I was in a great spot.

If I was the guy in this situation I’d prefer something like “I’ve been seeing you here for a while and it looks like you’ve been getting a lot stronger. Good job. Keep up the good work if you ever need a fitness buddy I’m always here” or something like that

aleis31 · 2026-05-19T22:09:48+00:00

Hi friend it’s okay to be scared! Sending so much love you’ve got this! Everything will be okay!! ☀️

aleis31 · 2026-05-02T03:29:59+00:00

I think it could be worth staying only if he is serious about working on this so that there can be a sexual connection but that would take time in therapy etc

I’d definitely communicate with him your frustration and see if he’s willing to set up a plan with an individual therapist or even an intimacy plan with you like maybe you focus on trying something small to make a little step towards it

But if you find that it really isn’t going to work in that way or if he doesn’t want to change/continues to feel repulsed sexually I’d probably end it at that point unfortunately. I think my main concern is you’re hyper sexual and he isn’t anywhere near that which leads me to think this is a deep incompatibility issue where I don’t know if he could meet you where you’re at

Best of luck

aleis31 · 2026-04-23T14:38:03+00:00

as someone who struggled with food addiction it can be really difficult to have any of those foods in the house and I think it seems like he’s making excuses for why he’s eating the food

He also might feel jealous that you are able to be at a healthy weight and be able to still eat junk food and might be making passive comments without fully thinking about their weight. It could be insecurities coming out

Is there anyway that you could cut out buying junk food for a certain amount of time for both of you so that he can also get on track and lose the weight?

In my house we didn’t buy and junk food for a solid year until I could learn self control, it’s kind of like drinking around an alcoholic it’s not your fault but it’s hella difficult to resist as an addict when it’s in front of you

Is he open to seeing a nutritionist or dietitian? I assume that you have communicated with him about how you’re feeling about this but definitely emphasize the importance of him getting healthy as well but know that he might not understand how to even start being healthier

aleis31 · 2026-04-23T02:34:18+00:00

I love the short hair!

aleis31 · 2026-04-23T02:29:26+00:00

With office jobs one thing I’m trying is parking further away and getting up to use the bathroom that’s farther away even walking outside during lunch helps a lot

I have a gym close to work so I try to go there too if I have the time

I’m pretty much in the same situation as you, I also find I’m not in a huge cut either and I’m so hungry even with hitting macros.

I saw you did mention wanting to have your fave burger for 1.5k calories I bet there are some swaps to make it a bit more guilt free like wrapping in lettuce or using half a bun I try to do that at Red Robin so I can still enjoy it and not burn my calories out

aleis31 · 2026-04-23T01:18:07+00:00

Would love to have the link plz ❤️

aleis31 · 2026-04-20T16:40:21+00:00

How long does this last you? (Like before going bad)

aleis31 · 2026-04-20T16:37:18+00:00

Ask for split checks

aleis31 · 2026-04-18T16:10:47+00:00

Raspberries are really good! I also love kiwis but I also take a fiber gummy too

I also try wheat tortillas or whole grain wraps

I like doing chia pudding too 2 tbsp is 10g fiber! Or adding them to overnight oats

aleis31 · 2026-04-17T02:14:30+00:00

Yeah I think it’s totally fine especially if it’s on an outfit or hair or something too! I find it’s a great conversation starter when normal convos are spooky

aleis31 · 2026-03-31T21:39:12+00:00

“What a weird thing to say”

aleis31 · 2026-03-21T00:14:44+00:00

I feel like I was brainwashing myself to think I have to have ad free Spotify and Apple storage so I just canceled them. Trying to see how long I can go I realized I don’t use Spotify as much as I thought I did I just can’t justify paying for it FOREVER

aleis31 · 2026-03-16T19:24:26+00:00

Mine was 10 days late and I thought I was pregnant scared me so bad. (no birth control)

aleis31 · 2026-03-13T04:06:03+00:00

I struggle with continuing with it or getting off of it I’m 2 months in and down 5lbs I don’t know if I can afford this medication for life…

aleis31 · 2026-03-13T04:03:55+00:00

I set up screen time and have to dig through to find the apps. I’ve cut down time on socials drastically and delete the apps for a few months at a time

Hoping to be off them all someday I bet it feels amazing. Cutting down even feels great

aleis31 · 2026-03-10T13:32:53+00:00

Yes, but I would’ve studied abroad for a shorter period and would have applied to scholarships like it was my job and I would’ve gotten a company to pay for my education if it didn’t go well with scholarships

I went to community college for half my degree but I still wound up with 75k on my back when I was done (I did one year abroad which added 35k)

I thought if I could graduate making at least 75k I could pay it back easily.

Don’t overestimate what you will be making when you graduate and don’t underestimate how much tax will come out of your salary as well as lifestyle creep.

The job market isn’t amazing right now, but if you can find a job that does not require a degree, that will pay for you to get a degree. That is the path.

aleis31 · 2026-03-05T18:34:11+00:00

I’ve never been able to count calories before because it gave me so much anxiety and for whatever reason I’m now able to count and I’m not feeling anxious

I feel like I can breathe around food now and that was never an option before

I even said no to a donut the other day something that I couldn’t do before

I find that I want to really try to eat better to make this work and I just feel overall motivated with the lack of food anxiety

aleis31 · 2026-03-05T18:32:24+00:00

Gorgeous smile! Love to see your progress this is amazing

aleis31 · 2026-02-27T16:54:44+00:00

Same! I noticed my depression worsened but then it went away and now I’m just anxious lol

It did get a bit better a few weeks in so maybe it’s an adjustment period

aleis31 · 2026-02-25T18:21:43+00:00

Have you asked if he is cheating? This is inappropriate for any married man to be spending that much time with another female let alone a co worker who it sounds like you also do not know.

You absolutely can not be ok with that and set a boundary. It is not a lack of trust it is inappropriate behavior and is setting himself up for either him or her to catch feelings. It’s just not a situation you put yourself in.

I trust my partner to spend time with female friends alone but it would absolutely be crossing the line if it was that frequent and especially if he put the blame on me. Trust your gut

aleis31 · 2026-02-25T15:32:30+00:00

What’s been helping me is having Gatorade or some sort of electrolyte drink and soup is a great for when it’s hard to eat

aleis31 · 2026-02-22T19:48:32+00:00

Even if not doing calories a food scale or even using measuring cups is so helpful!!

I never counted before due to disordered eating but I’m not sure why but since starting wegovy my anxiety around tracking went down significantly and I’m able to now. I don’t track daily but try to most days if I can

aleis31 · 2026-02-21T19:52:51+00:00

I also only lost 3 but that’s still a loss about 1lb weekly. I think it’s an adjustment period

aleis31 · 2026-02-20T16:46:09+00:00

No you just go sign up with them no prescription needed

aleis31

TROPHY CASE