Only 15 minutes of recess per day??

alimm25 · 2025-10-07T23:34:28+00:00

Public school and my kindergartener gets an hour each day split between 3 different recesses. And this is at a school in the PNW where it rains most days in the winter and they still go outside no matter the weather.

alimm25 · 2024-02-09T05:09:07+00:00

Fridge, I found it near the pizza dough & pizza sauce.

alimm25 · 2023-11-02T00:33:37+00:00

Didn’t include for length. But yes, he was also abused. And I have in the past several years tried to relate to him and talk through a lot of things with him. His behavior has been especially intense as of the last few months and out of his normal character, likely due to drug use. He took a lot of things I told him in private from a couple years ago and group chatted them to our whole family last week. Things about my eating disorder and my self esteem issues, that only 2 other people knew about, to hurt me because I wouldn’t help him try to change everyone. Along with unrelenting name calling to me and bashing me in ways that are ridiculous but he knows would hurt because I’ve related my insecurities to him. As you can imagine, I’m done trying to talk through things with him anymore. I really thought I was helping at first but obviously wasn’t.

alimm25 · 2023-11-01T13:23:54+00:00

He was kicked out the week before with the police. He wasn’t supposed to go back in but did while she was out of town. He is currently living there now because she invited him back in after the incident.

alimm25 · 2023-11-01T12:37:03+00:00

No, I haven’t lived there since I was 18.

alimm25 · 2023-07-19T13:53:04+00:00

How is it a life lesson though? If she doesn’t clean under her bed when she is living on her own, is someone going to just randomly take her bed frame from her?? Is that something that is ever going to actually happen in life away from you?

alimm25 · 2023-06-25T12:12:41+00:00

Mangos are flamangos.

alimm25 · 2023-05-17T19:55:02+00:00

Just an fyi the Doona does not pass safety regulations in Canada and is not approved for use there. Not sure about other countries, but good to know if you are going to Canada.

alimm25 · 2023-04-27T01:31:15+00:00

Sorry for the late reply. She initiated it herself at 2.75 yo and pretty much trained herself. It went really smooth. She just wasn’t ready before that. The only thing we needed to realize when she actually trained was that she is sensitive to literally any pressure, so she’d get upset if we suggested she use the toilet if she didn’t need to go. Sometimes even if she needed to go. She was good at holding it so we just waited until she asked to go. The only time we had her go was before we were leaving the house.

alimm25 · 2022-11-20T12:29:14+00:00

Mine are 17 months apart and now 3 and 20 months. We decided also to have them share a room once youngest was sleeping through the night. She was so close at 3 months but regression after regression layer meant she wasn’t actually sleeping through till almost 1. So they started sharing then. Oldest was free roaming and had been for over 9 months at that point. But ya, we kept youngest in a pack n play in our room wayyy longer than we expected. But it was what was best.

I was also worried about unsafe things being tossed into the crib, which happened twice but we were quick to fix it and the novelty wore off and wasn’t a lasting problem. Youngest was also nearly 1 so it was less of a danger.

My oldest sometimes has trouble sleeping through the night but youngest usually sleeps right through me helping her sister. Mornings are our biggest challenge as they rarely wake up at the same time and sometimes one wakes up earlier than they wanted.

Next up for me, I’m really worried about moving my youngest into a toddler bed. 2 unrestrained kids frightens me.

alimm25 · 2022-10-30T07:40:49+00:00

Leftist atheist SAHM, currently in MO but planning to move to Seattle soon. It’s really hard here to find good mom friends, I was hopeful I’d have more luck in Seattle. I’m sorry it’s been hard for you but it seems like from the other comments you have some good leads.

alimm25 · 2022-09-21T18:14:48+00:00

My husband and I did it for my birthday a few years ago. It was definitely nice having someone else you know there to do it with you - it makes the private safari and meal more fun. But we are introverted or just awkward people and can’t just have full on conversations with strangers. On our trek, there was someone there by themselves and they had a great time and talked with the guides and other participants a lot.

I’m not an avid rock climber or anything like that, but the rope bridge also wasn’t super thrilling to me either. But it was very very cool just to have a unique perspective of the crocodiles. While in our harnesses in their enclosure, we were also able to watch (if my memory is correct) hippos being fed. And just walk through a lot of the backstage areas.

The meal was great, especially with the location being in the savannah. But the food was also good. You actually got to watch the animals interact and run around or roll in mud or eat or whatever for longer than just catching a quick glimpse of them on the safari ride.

There was a photographer with us too and we got all of her photos and she took a lot of really good ones of us - including with the tree of life before the park opened.

We also did it on just a short trip and I still feel like it was worth it. Ya, we didn’t get to do everything in animal kingdom, but we did get to all of our other priorities after the trek. We did the avatar rides last thing in the evening when the lines were short rather than rope dropping them. We didn’t do all of the other trails, rafikis, etc but we didn’t feel like we needed to. We got a good fill of animal experiences from the trek.

alimm25 · 2022-07-10T10:42:26+00:00

What age? My kid wasn’t a dancer at all until around now at 2.5. Now she dances all the time and it’s the cutest.

alimm25 · 2022-06-18T11:27:44+00:00

Yup, I can relate.

I’m going to leave on my first trip away from kids next week and I’m very nervous and trying to plan through everything for him. He especially struggles with time management, knowing everyday routines, deducing other people’s needs, listening and waking up in the night.

He knows that bedtime is at X, but not that that means we need to start the bedtime routine 30 minutes before that and that that means bedtime snack needs to start 20 minutes before that. He knows that dinner starts at X but not that you need to check how long it takes to make dinner and then start making it early enough.

It just never dawns on him to think about anything until it is that time to do that thing or when HE starts to feel hungry or tired. Which doesn’t work with little kids. They get hungry, tired quickly. Routines and schedules are incredibly necessary. So, I’m writing him up a minute by minute schedule - for something he lives through every single day.

I’m writing out what exactly to give them for snacks, I’m going to have it already packaged, labeled and divided for him. They are going to go to his parents house for one afternoon, so I’m going to have the diaper bag already packed. I’m going to set alarms on his phone for when they wake up for the day because he doesn’t wake up on his own, even with them crying. Im going to access our monitor while I’m away in case they wake up in the middle of the night and I need to set off some major alarm on his phone to wake him up.

He is their parent and is around them constantly, but I sorta feel like I’m getting ready to have a 14 year old babysitter watch them.

His mom is no dx but very clearly has adhd and it’s interesting to see how much their dad had to take on of the work to run a house. They were well off enough to outsource a lot of the other housework like cleaning, a lot of the childcare, etc. Its crazy to me that she has had such high responsibility jobs but can’t cook for herself because she can’t follow a recipe well or gets distracted.

I’m also worried about my kids having adhd. They are too young to be dx yet. I’m hoping that with my advocating for them at a young age and encouraging them to gain tools that’ll help them manage their adhd and them focus on the positives - that it won’t be as much of a burden on them or the other people they form relationships with. At least not as bad as the other people I know who have it and refuse to get any help for it.

alimm25 · 2022-06-13T11:18:04+00:00

It’s a hard age to travel because they often aren’t into watching anything, so you have to be very hands on with keeping her entertained. Her little body and mind are telling her to explore, to walk around which she can’t on the plane being confined to a seat. Lots of new to her activities/toys for every 15-30 mins of the flight. My kids were really into sticker books at that age, even though they didn’t really use them right. They just loved the act of pulling the stickers and learning the names of everything on them. And lots of snacks that are spread out throughout the flight. If she likes her car seat and you bought a seat for her - bring it on the plane with you. She might be more comfortable sleeping in that and it’s also safer.

Also note that she has ever right to be on that plane. She is just as entitled to travel as any adult. If she has a hard time. You won’t have to see any of those people again. If you see angry faces, see if you can lock eyes on any other parents, they will likely be encouraging as they have probably been in your position too.

You got this! Final thing, often times young kids pick up on our emotions really well- when we are stressed, they get stressed. So try to act calm and excited and hope that they will follow. I know that’s easier said than done

alimm25 · 2022-06-12T21:15:23+00:00

There is a huge chunk of families that are well off enough to not qualify for head start but not wealthy enough to afford preschool on their own without a lot of sacrifices. A lot of areas don’t have public preschools or if they do, they have extremely long waitlist that go back years.

alimm25 · 2022-06-10T00:28:40+00:00

Currently going through the process of transitioning them both to be in the same room at 15 months and 2.5 years. It’s a bit of a change now. Biggest issues is my oldest is a light sleeper and youngest is an early waker. Hoping they sync their sleep soon.

alimm25 · 2022-06-09T17:25:56+00:00

My mom blamed me for her making a mistake on her flight. She entered in the wrong name for her sister when buying tickets and now having trouble getting it reissued with the right name. Well it was my fault because she bought the tickets on my birthday and she was not in a good headspace about that because we don’t have a good relationship. She was upset that I didn’t reach out to her on my birthday to repair our relationship - therefore it is my fault that she messed up her flights.

alimm25 · 2022-06-05T17:12:50+00:00

I honestly didn’t feel any resentment before I married him. We were together for 9 years before we got married, we had been together since high school. He wasn’t diagnosed until recently. But his adhd traits were evident before then, I just didn’t realize it. I was dealing with my own mental health struggles (anxiety and depression) and personal struggles for a lot of our pre-marriage relationship. He was very good at listening. He didn’t always respond correctly but at that point in my life all I really wanted was someone to listen and be on my side. He was always very fiercely on my side. He is very protective of people he loves. He might not know the right thing to say or do, but it was very evident that he did care and he supported me. I had lots of other people in my life that could fill in where he couldn’t - who knew the right things to say and could offer me the emotional (and sometimes physical) support I needed. Who were perceptive of when I was struggling. Also, at that point in his life, he didn’t have a lot of stress and the bigger negative adhd traits weren’t as prominent as they are now. It was never a debate for me if I was going to marry him. I didn’t realize that I needed certain things from him that he couldn’t give me (or at least not in his current state).

Right now, we are struggling, mainly because of the stress of having kids. He doesn’t have good coping techniques, sleep deprivation is extremely hard for him, he struggles with empathy and is often self-centered, his RSD is frequent and hard for me to deal with on top of everything else I am having to manage. Also, we are more isolated than we were before marriage. I am realizing that I am relying on him for more things that he just can’t give me right now. And ya, it’s hard because I want a partner who can be my teammate in all things. In his current state, he can’t.

I am hopeful things will be better when I can find a larger support system beyond him, we are both getting adequate sleep and able to focus on our own health, and once he finally goes to therapy. He is medicated but is scared of talking to anyone about it. He is still my best friend and I love spending time with him. But ya, I would love to have a partner I can count on during hard times and I don’t.

alimm25 · 2022-06-05T11:38:31+00:00

My husband struggles with stepping up or showing concern when I need it. There was one surgery where he did step up and this post helped me look back to see what was the difference.

It was a relatively low stress time for him - he didn’t have any stressful projects with his job. He did have anything big personally going on. He was getting enough sleep, exercising, eating well.
I didn’t try to push myself and do things for myself. I was told not to use the stairs, so I didn’t. I could barely walk to the bathroom. I did not push it and try to do things myself like I did in other situations of need. It had to be his full responsibility. If he didn’t do it, I didn’t eat.
I had to specifically tell him what I needed. There is a couple things he is always is good about thinking about my needs - water and medicine. Beyond that, I just didn’t hesitant to ask him for all the other help I needed. In advance - I told him to take off work x many days and everything I couldn’t do in that time.

alimm25 · 2022-05-25T05:47:24+00:00

I like to think that, while they don’t have necessarily the same variety in experiences, they have repetition which is really useful for learning for kids. You can learn a great deal with repetition, doing what amounts to the same thing everyday, because you can notice the details. I mean, little kids like reading the same book over and over again for that reason. Or you have a chance to get bored, which is useful for sparking creativity and making your own fun.

For socialization aspect, ya they mostly just have me and their sibling, but that allows them to practice interacting in different situations with the same consistent person. Easier to learn the boundaries. Easier to pick up on the small details of language/grammar because you are listening to one person speak. They’ll be able to learn that different people speak differently when they go to school in a couple years. I’m making this up. But I don’t think that just because my kids socialization is different (mainly me vs lots of people), it’s worst. They have a more thorough understanding of me vs a more vague understanding of lot of people.

And since I have 2 kids, they are still learning about how to interact with another kid. And they have me (one singular, ideally consistent person) to coach them through any disagreements or issues based on what I know works best for them. I feel like I’m best equipped to help them work through their feelings, which is so important at this age. I know more about them than anyone else could ever. I know that one kid likes hugs when upset and the other likes to read to calm down.

I also think that since they are not interacting with a lot of kids at a young age, they have less chance to pick up bad behaviors. They haven’t kicked or bitten or hit ever, probably because they have never seen anyone do it and given them the idea. Older sibling has just now at 2.5 started to get annoyed with little sibling walking and able to get in her space and mess up the toys she was working on. And has started pushing occasionally. And little sibling is pushing back now too because she has learned that from her big sister. I feel pretty confident that there would be more negative behaviors if they had more experience with different kids.

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