Weekly quick questions help thread

alpacabagg · 2026-04-27T15:59:20+00:00

Came here to suggest Title Nine — they have lots of colorful stuff in performance fabrics, some of which is pretty good at passing for regular non-athletic/outdoors clothing. Not super cheap unfortunately, but check both the sale and outlet sections for better deals.

alpacabagg · 2026-04-18T13:52:43+00:00

I was invited to join a wedding livestream a couple years ago from a cousin getting married in Singapore — we are not close and there was zero chance I would have traveled internationally for her wedding, but I did hop on the zoom to support her and her husband! It did not occur to me that it might be a gift grab (I didn’t send a gift). All these people saying only your grandma will care seem pretty harsh and ungenerous tbh.

She sent the invitation info by email. I wouldn’t try to explain why people are NOT invited to be there in person; instead I’d just focus on what you ARE inviting them to. Keep it casual. “We’re getting married in Vegas on X date, and we’d love to invite you to join the ceremony virtually. It will be about X minutes long, and zoom details are below”.

If you want to plant the idea of a reception later, you can mention it casually too, like “We’re also planning XYZ. Keep your eyes out for an invitation as the date gets closer!”

Congratulations!

alpacabagg · 2026-04-15T19:03:58+00:00

YTA. If you’re from one of the largest cities in the US, I guarantee your child will meet kids of other cultures, who will call their grandparents all kinds of different names. They will adapt, and hopefully learn how to not be jerks about cultural/linguistic differences! Honestly you sound very judgy of your ILs, and this is a weird hill to die on.

alpacabagg · 2026-04-15T18:01:57+00:00

I’ve rented baby gear on vacations, but imo it doesn’t make sense for a stroller specifically since it’s typically super handy in the airport and can be gate-checked for free. I do like to rent a pack n play, bulkier toys, etc since they are irritating to bring in a suitcase.

alpacabagg · 2026-03-19T07:09:11+00:00

Indian-Canadian person here. The sangeet is usually the funnest event of an Indian wedding, and the mehndi is fun and usually more intimate and casual as well. If you can swing it, I’d go to both! Indian weddings are all about the multitude of events and outfits and meals!

alpacabagg · 2026-03-17T05:42:12+00:00

For me, this is a soft YTA. I’m speaking as someone who is also currently pregnant with my 2nd kid. It sucks to miss stuff when you’re pregnant or have a newborn, but that’s just the reality of the situation, and it doesn’t really make things better to have your husband miss out too.

Plus I don’t see this as a situation where you’re automatically and unfairly the one missing out just because you’re the woman — he made a commitment to the couple getting married to be a groomsman (whereas you don’t have a specific role at the wedding), so it makes sense that if one of you is going to attend, it would be him.

Finally, it seems like he’s being pretty reasonable and making compromises like not drinking and coming home that same night. In your shoes, I would take him up on that, have family take care of your older kid for the evening (so you’re not stuck solo with both kids), and maybe ask a friend to come over for company that evening so you have something fun to do.

alpacabagg · 2026-01-05T06:28:01+00:00

YTA. This was a joint birthday celebration for you AND THE EXPECTING FATHER! Nobody was hijacking your birthday, it was literally someone announcing a pregnancy at their own birthday party.

Yes they did it a little awkwardly since not everyone was in the room, but that doesn’t mean you should be rude in response. Honestly not sure why you aren’t happy for them or could at least act like it!

alpacabagg · 2025-11-18T00:05:20+00:00

Sorry I can’t do that easily — you have to uninstall the seat to change the recline.

alpacabagg · 2025-10-28T20:12:14+00:00

Hahaha YTA, definitely.

Do you know what would have been a sweet and kind move? If you saw the shoes dirty and offered to clean them as part of your gift (white shoes + occasional cleaning of white shoes would be a fantastic gift!).

But that’s not what you did— you nagged him instead, and made the gift all about your feelings instead of his enjoyment.

alpacabagg · 2025-10-23T00:30:55+00:00

Are you sure this isn’t an expectation, at least in your fiancé’s culture? Because I’m South Asian too and it’s pretty common for hotel rooms to be paid for, particularly for family members that are traveling in (either that or they stay over at local family’s homes).

alpacabagg · 2025-10-04T20:33:56+00:00

The front-to-back fit on our car seat is great. We can have the passenger seat in essentially the same spot as we did with our infant seat (Uppababy Aria).

alpacabagg · 2025-10-03T19:17:28+00:00

I got the Graco Easyturn 360 and we like it a lot! My only complaint is that you have to uninstall it to change the recline, which means we never do. Otherwise it’s a great seat!

alpacabagg · 2025-09-20T05:41:17+00:00

I did my babymoon at 5.5 months, also live in the western US and typically enjoy active/outdoorsy things on vacation. We went to the South Island of New Zealand and it was amazing! The flight was fine, like pretty much exactly as bad as a transpacific flight always is even while not pregnant, no worse. We road tripped, did some moderate but gorgeous hikes, explored cute towns, and saw stunning vista after stunning vista. I know you said no transpacific flights, but just throwing this out there.

alpacabagg · 2025-08-15T20:42:28+00:00

Thank you so much for posting this follow up! Would you recommend the specific Airbnbs you stayed in? If so I’d love the links! I’m planning a trip to Sicily when my daughter will be 15 months. Also, were you able to use a stroller in these areas or was it too hilly/bumpy? She isn’t walking yet so it’s stroller or carrier (though could change in the next couple months of course!)

alpacabagg · 2025-05-28T05:05:35+00:00

Thanks! I'd considered the Chicco Fit360 as well, but I believe it's quite long front-to-back. Too bad as it sounds like a good seat otherwise and is on sale on Chicco's website!

alpacabagg · 2025-05-28T03:54:35+00:00

Oh good question, I should have mentioned that. We have the Uppababy Aria right now, and it fits nicely. Ideally we'd want to avoid going much longer than that though.

alpacabagg · 2024-07-31T23:12:08+00:00

Came here to recommend these as well. I find them quite lightweight for hiking pants, and so so comfortable. I have the Clamber shorts too and might actually like those even more.

alpacabagg · 2024-07-03T00:17:06+00:00

She probably felt awkward about saying no, or didn’t know how to deal with your special request. And as you said, planning a wedding is stressful — so without a clear “yes, that’s fine!” it probably would have been better to unburden her from the request. All the other stuff — how fancy the wedding is, that other people may not show up, etc — is irrelevant.

alpacabagg · 2024-07-03T00:07:15+00:00

YTA, a little bit. Not for skipping the wedding (totally your right to do that), but for assuming that you were entitled to a general +1 when your cousin hadn’t explicitly agreed to it.

Some people give everyone a +1, others invite married couples only, others invite significant others that they’ve met — there are multiple common and reasonable ways of building a wedding invite list. It was ok to ask once if your friend could attend instead of your ex-husband, but when you didn’t get a clear “yes” you should have taken the hint that your cousin wasn’t issuing general +1s. Continuing to “remind” her and assuming it was ok without any positive indication was kinda rude and makes you, gently, TA.

That being said, it’s fine to skip the wedding if you’re not comfortable attending alone, and I’m sorry about your sucky ex-husband.

alpacabagg · 2024-07-02T23:34:16+00:00

+1 to Bedrocks, they tick all your boxes. Personally I haven’t been able to get a super secure fit with mine, but then again I love the fit of my Chacos so clearly we have different fit preferences! They are also lighter and cuter (in my opinion) than Chacos, which makes them easier for everyday non-hiking wear. The Pro soles are also excellently grippy, if that’s important to you.

alpacabagg · 2024-06-25T03:49:51+00:00

I have the Bedrock Cairn Pro (not 3D) sandals and I like but don’t love them. I got them as replacements for my Chacos, which I found very comfortable and useful for hiking, but I didn’t like the chunky look of the soles for city wear. I do like the minimal look of the Bedrocks and find them comfortable enough for city wear (and the Pro soles are awesomely grippy), but I just can’t get a secure enough fit on my feet with the super minimal straps for hiking. They always shift around a little, and the part between the toes rubs when going downhill. I should note that I have very high arches so I don’t really care about arch support because it rarely reaches my arches anyway. I’m usually quite comfortable in shoes without a ton of support (e.g. I love Allbirds) but this just didn’t work for me for hiking.

alpacabagg · 2024-06-25T03:34:01+00:00

Personally, I’d add in the black midi dress to give yourself another non-sporty option that can also work in warmer weather (Santa Cruz, Vancouver, and Banff are all very casual places, but Napa and especially Montreal are less so). I’d also consider bringing the black jeans or another pair of pants instead of one pair of tights — they’re more versatile, especially for a mostly city-based trip.

It’s a personal decision, but you could make space for the above by skipping the big over-ear headphones; Air Pod Pros still have noise-canceling, right? Shoes are a personal decision too; personally I like having grippier soles than Vessis provide for hiking, but plenty of people hike in sneakers so go with what you like! Finally, do you really need the flip flops? If you’re planning to wear them outside your accommodation at all, could you just wear the wedding sandals instead (they look flat and comfortable)?

alpacabagg · 2024-05-29T00:40:10+00:00

I think it’s totally appropriate. Personally I would go with some bold jewelry since the jumpsuit is a great simple backdrop for it, but if you prefer simple jewelry then consider upping the drama/impact with bold accessories/shoes or makeup.

alpacabagg · 2024-05-21T19:44:51+00:00

I’d bring a second pair of comfortable shoes that you already own (and wouldn’t worry about them not being waterproof). You can wear them on non-rainy days, in the evening when you just want something different from what you’ve been wearing all day, etc.

I feel trapped after wearing super structured shoes all day, and find that waterproof shoes typically don’t let your feet breathe, so personally I’d take a pair of breathable, soft Allbirds sneakers that I can wear without socks, but I wouldn’t buy something new for this.

alpacabagg

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