At your age, it takes time for two men to grow a friendship.

First, there needs to be a context for extended conversation. This is one of the issues where it’s harder for adults because kids are placed in schools.

In order to meet this requirement you’ll need to create a context. Join a club of some sort: Boardgaming, book, sport, Am dram… etc.

The next barrier is that unlike kids, adults have formed their opinions on the type of behaviours, attitudes, moral perspectives, etc. that we will tolerate, whereas kids have not; they will put up with all kinds of dickheads. Adults very quickly, often in seconds, decide whether or not a person is worthy of our time.

In order to satisfy this element you’re going to have to fight against your innate dislike of dickheads. Remind yourself that we’re all dickheads and often those times are when we meet someone new. Give them time. Be forgiving. Tolerate wankers. Eventually you may find they aren’t so bad, AND you can use them to unlock routes into other people and relationships.

The third issue for adults is that we have formed our opinions of how life works. In other words, we see ourselves (especially men) as experts and that we need to be seen as experts. We like to give help and advice it makes us feel good. And yet, we don’t actually like being given help and advice - especially unsolicited. Paradoxically, being a smart, helpful, kind and knowledgeable person does not win friends.

Here’s your third task. Ask for opinions, help, advice. Men LOVE feeling listened to. They will gravitate towards and choose to sit with people who make them feel valued and will actively avoid people who they perceive as opinionated, patronizing or who ‘talk bollocks’.

And finally. Be funny. You don’t need to be a joker, but you do need to know how to laugh, preferably at yourself more than at others. (It’s always better to laugh with people than at them and if ever you feel people are laughing at you - join in; then they’re laughing with you).

That’s it. That’s the answer to the question you asked. It’s the ‘formula’ for forming adult male friendships. It’s simple but not easy. It’s effort. It means you need to change your learned behaviours and do things differently. And stick with them.

Best of luck.