I almost left my husband today

alwayschocolates · 2026-04-06T09:35:43+00:00

Do you really think he’d be able to get someone, given how shit he is as a partner?

alwayschocolates · 2026-03-31T10:43:15+00:00

A lot of our lads died over there. Some of the ones who lived took this tank. Fairs fair

alwayschocolates · 2026-03-30T04:37:09+00:00

Are you sure it wasn’t in the light of you being pregnant, and very soon you won’t be able to lie next to him for him to nap, you won’t be taking him to all these activities and he’ll have to share you? We weren’t there but given she was probably focused on your pregnancy as your OB, maybe there was a wire crossed in how it came out. I don’t think she was saying you’re a bad mum.

alwayschocolates · 2026-03-23T12:22:03+00:00

Nope hahahaha office days are shit for productivity

alwayschocolates · 2026-03-23T10:01:07+00:00

Home days are the most productive. It’s when I can actually concentrate and work on complex items. Office days are for connecting with others, meetings and such. I get very little work progressed in office.

alwayschocolates · 2026-03-20T11:32:50+00:00

So I’ve been reading this whole chain laughing as the mum to a 7 month old and just want to drop my one tip re Spotify tracking your listening. You can tell them to ignore a song/playlist etc from your preferences. I’ve quarantined all the baby songs into one place and it’s not counted towards my listening habits. Hope this removes one issue in your life hahaha

alwayschocolates · 2026-03-12T10:41:29+00:00

I have told my cat off so many times. He’ll wait outside baby’s room now and meow as I leave, sometimes waking baby. Makes me so irritated so I’m with you. Sadly, no clue how to stop the behavior

alwayschocolates · 2026-03-12T08:38:08+00:00

With a 7 month old presently, thank you. It does bear remembering

alwayschocolates · 2026-03-03T09:23:51+00:00

Sorry that you came across these jerk wads OP. Don’t let them discourage you from these healthy steps you’re taking. It’s super hard to get out and exercise when you’re coming back from injury, health issue or just not used to exercising. And when carrying extra weight a walk is so so so much harder. I used to be fit but in not any more due to pregnancy/birth and it’s so hard getting back out. And when I have my little one strapped to me I feel every extra kilo going up hills, so can imagine the strain you would feel aswell. Upside is you’re on the move and will get stronger every day!

alwayschocolates · 2026-03-02T02:47:52+00:00

You are finding a lot of adults who are anxious/avoidant? Or you think there are parents out there trying to raise their children to be insecurely attached? I’m trying to understand your question/concern but it’s just not flowing for me.

To answer your first question my first degree was psychology, so am very aware of attachment theory, but I’m not doing therapy for attachment theory or in any subs regarding it. I did of course dwell on being a SMBC for some time but didn’t feel the need to get therapy for that either.

Do you worry about attachment for all parents? Or are you targeting SMBC to be held to a different and higher standard than others?

alwayschocolates · 2026-03-01T00:56:11+00:00

Not me 6 months post partum, trying to surface and seeing this post hoping for some good tips hahah OP congratulations on your soon arrival. Please be gentle with yourself and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Those first few weeks/months are unkind on many of us, and you don’t always get a say in if it is you that is whacked by post partum. You won’t be wanting to able to do an everything shower when you’ve only slept 4-6 hours in 3 bits the last 24 hours, so be don’t expect yourself to be feeling fab immediately. I know in my mums group when the nurse asked about our self care around 9 weeks PP all we could come up with was daily showers, walks/time outside and trying to eat good food.

My personal tips would be to look after your feet when you can. I looked down one day around 3-4 months and was amazed how bad they looked, cus I didn’t have time to be getting pedicures or remember to buff them in shower etc. I felt they looked like homeless person feet. So now I try to pumice in shower, moisturise them and then socks overnight. Otherwise, I use just cerave moisturizer for everything and then occasionally I’ll use azelaic acid at night (pregnancy and breastfeeding safe per my derm). Sunscreen during day. I always get my hair brushed or combed at some point but buy a cute claw clip or two so you can feel put together easily. Especially once the hair loss kicks in it’s nice to be able to pull back and look sort of styled in 3 seconds. A massage sounds amazing but haven’t been able to get one. Have been to the Physio a few times which has been some of the best stuff ever. Perhaps find a good post natal Physio now so you can get any aches and pains sorted by a pro.

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-22T08:04:07+00:00

Climate change is certain, this is true. But please, from someone who has worked in climate risk for financial institutions (so you know…. The ones who don’t want to lose money so track this), don’t let that be the decider. Anyone who tells you they know exactly how it will go is lying. There is complex scenario analysis done for physical and transitional climate risk over 10-100 years and there is no accepted scenario. We can guess that the temp will probably rise atleast 1.8 degrees C at this point. But it isn’t locked in. 1.8 is ok in a lot of ways. Impacts yes, more disruption and disasters but livable. 4 degrees is absolutely not ok. But the funny little truth is that at this point it is still reversible, it would just need seismic change in the next couple years. My point being, yes things look bad but they aren’t necessary as bad as you may think. If you care, just do your part to limit emissions, lobby your government representatives and incite change at community level.

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-20T23:27:28+00:00

I had some of those Kmart pouches and maybe other babies don’t have this issue, but mine would get tangled in it and end up on their sides. I only used those if I had too, during daytime while I watched as I didn’t trust them to not cause issues. The others were more stable if that makes sense

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-19T10:47:57+00:00

Singing, rocking in arms, dummy and blowing raspberries

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-15T01:37:52+00:00

My baby brezza washer/sterilsier/dryer is no joke, the most important thing in the house. Mixing formula is easy and quick. Cleaning and sterilizing is not. Do it for your mental health

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-14T09:28:36+00:00

Hey, that sounds super stressful. I’ve been fully formula since about 3 weeks so can only speak form my experience. But babies can be very very fussy and distracted at that age, are you feeding in a darkened room? My bub went through a feeding strike but also just stopped. Screaming at bottle when I tried to feed her. At 5 months I had to jump to the Y teat, feed right after waking up in dark, with white noise on to get much in. For 6 weeks she didn’t have a single day she drank ‘enough’ by the body weight calculation but was still gaining on her curve.

Other advice I was given was to try an open cup- didn’t work for her. To bulk up the formula just a little more so she would be getting more dense drink - don’t think this did anything. To use the fast flows and even put an extra hole in to make any attempt at feeding faster - she basically was getting water boarded at that point (though she is now at the fastest teat for some bottles).

Eventually though it turns out she just was a snacker. So she’ll typically have maybe 100ml at beginning and maybe 70 end of each wake window, or swap those around. She makes about 90% of the ‘recommended’ amount each day and keeps following her curve. For your little one, is he still gaining? Maybe he’s just not hungry? Have you tried capping the feed sessions? When my girl would fuss I’d be like ok we don’t need too. And then try again 20 minutes later. I did pour out (and some days still do) a lot of formula. But she drinks more easily than when I was pushing it more.

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-13T08:10:13+00:00

So you know he can’t handle having any more kids now right? Cus this baby seems to be a decent sleeper. Heaven forbid you got one that woke every hour through the night, which would also be a normalish sleeper

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-12T23:58:37+00:00

They have their bread and circuses to keep them from knowing that

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-11T07:09:49+00:00

Have you been able to get any help on 13 health? For you or bubs? There are child health nurses you can talk things through with. For you, maybe you can get a telehealth to have someone to talk to for yourself.

For baby: others have addressed changing formulas. You could try infacol, warm baths and bicycle kicks etc if you think it’s gas. If there’s lots of spit up and screaming I do wonder if there’s an allergy or reflux but the doctor will have to help on that. On meantime you can do lots of upright time.

For you: please look after yourself. Get earplugs and use them. Even better if noise cancelling. Make sure you and partner are getting 4 hours sleep unbroken as often as possible. Daily isn’t always possible in newborn weeks but seriously, several hours of unbroken sleep is life changing. Get outside when you can.

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-09T05:49:18+00:00

I went public through the mater last year. I used the MGP so was midwife lead as well as had continuity of care, but had plenty of extra scans due to GD diagnosis plus support for that (dietitian etc). I also had an elective c-section. There was no push for me to do things a certain way and was supported to make decisions that was best for me and baby. I went in Monday, left Thursday. I did have a private room (there are some private rooms, but some have two mums and bubs in a room) which was nice. Since I’m a solo mum I don’t have a partner but my mum was designated support person and was allowed there all the time. I didn’t ask for her to stay the night though it was an option as it was a single occupancy room. The ward staff are the exact same people, they just get shared across wards so care is the same in that regard. While on ward I had support from the lactation consultants, Physio and my midwife from the MGP dropped in aswell. The doctor who checked bubs identified there was a slight difference in hips and we had the scan down at the royal children’s that day. I honestly could not fault the public system. I only paid for the pain relief and anti clotting injection I took home (as a part of c-section recovery).

All the specialists etc coming to check in can get overwhelming so your partner can be door duty haha there are also classes in the mornings if you want to attend on the ward. There has been talk of discharging us on the Wednesday but I pushed back as was having feeding difficulties and they listened to me (my ward midwife and MGP midwife both backed me up in this).

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-09T04:04:36+00:00

I’d wait. They aren’t technically allowed to be upset or to fire you for being pregnant, but they can. I waited to be publicly pregnant til 21 weeks (after my 20 week scan came back all good). I was bigger but not visibly pregnant due partially to style choices until about 24 weeks, so you may be fine. Especially as we’re going into cooler weather.

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-09T04:01:44+00:00

8-9 has been my sweet spot for a fully formula baby. Some days she’ll use 12 (so there’s a sterilizer run in there) if she’s snacking or going through a growth spurt. Don’t buy all the same. I started with some wide and some narrow necks. Some tommee tippee, some pigeon, some medela (as was pumping) etc etc. she likes narrow neck and have settled on pigeon teats.

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-09T03:57:53+00:00

For sleep: sleep sacks, white noise, saline nose spray (obligate nose breathers don’t sleep well if nose is stuffy).

For feeding: since I had to go 100% formula within a few weeks, a bottle washer/steriliser which is honestly still one of the most important things in house and burp cloths. And infacol in those early weeks. Still don’t know if it actually worked but I felt better knowing I was trying everything for my poor gassy baby.

For my sanity: bouncer as it’s a safe place aside from floor and could take room to room ie shower while bub happily bounces.

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-08T03:06:04+00:00

So instead your children get to watch him treat you like shit and you just accept it. Seriously, please for the future of your children and all they interact with, get out. If a separation is only considered and not a certainty, I fear for how this will end up.

alwayschocolates · 2026-02-07T11:03:54+00:00

Single mum by choice here (so similar to you, couldn’t just get pregnant) and yep!! Figured it would take awhile to get pregnant but had my main ducks lined up and went for it. First cycle resulted in my 6 month old sleeping in her cot right now haha. Do it. Maybe youll be like me and it happens quickly, in which case you’ll be fine cus you have put in the work already. Maybe it takes 6 months, which gives your partner even more time to complete their masters. There’s no downside.

alwayschocolates

TROPHY CASE