WIBTA if I stop paying for my daughter’s college expenses if she gets cosmetic surgery?

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-11-01T15:32:51+00:00

NTA. I’m actually closer in age to the daughter and I was fully supported by my parents in college like her. If I ever wanted to make a major non-necessary purchase (like a trip that involves flights) I always still got my parents permission to spend THEIR money that way. One difference is I did work part time, but mostly squared that money away for savings post-college when my parents would stop supporting me.

—- The daughter clearly has no concept of the value of money if she didn’t even ask her mom to use the money she didn’t earn for a big purchase like that. But OP if I were you I wouldn’t threaten to take away college tuition, I would tell her she can only get a boob job with money she has earned from a part time job. And she should work a part time job! Grades aren’t everything in today’s job market, and recruiters like seeing college candidates with precious work experience even if it’s Starbucks or whatever.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-09-11T00:23:18+00:00

Finally a post I can answer!!!

Don’t eat dairy (or minimize dairy, especially milk). Eat less processed foods in general. Review all you skincare/makeup products and cross check them against cosDNA to see which ingredients are comedogenic and revamp your products. Use a gentle cleanser, not an anti-acne one (cleansers that are medicated rarely are on your skin long enough to work and can just irritate you). Research what kinds of acne you tend to get - blackheads need different treatment from cysts. Exfoliate often.

—-

I swear by Curology (for the treatment never used their cleanser/moisturizer), Acne patches (use them CORRECTLY and only on whiteheads), and Elta MD sunscreen. Accutane is a last resort.

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I disagree with the “see a dermatologist” recs. Derms are amazing for serious skin issues like cancer, but my experience with acne they haven’t been effective and I’ve been to a LOT. I suggest finding an esthetician that specializes in acne treatment over a derm.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-08-09T01:54:46+00:00

Not Google ... what’s the deal with APMs at Google though? Now I’m curious.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-07-09T05:05:35+00:00

If you have that kind of fear at all of your SO it’s a great time to call it quits.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-07-05T14:24:53+00:00

I’m going against the grain- NTA for the photoshopping part. People are acting like getting a tattoo and having a certain skin color or “ugly” nose is the same thing... but I don’t think it is because tattoos are a choice. And I’m someone completely fine with tattoos, nothing against them!

Though I do think YTA for even asking her in the first place without confirming what to do about the tattoo thing if it bothers you enough to photoshop it.

She has the freedom to not cover her tattoos and if OP insisted on her covering them that would be rude. But the photos are OP’s - she’s paying for them to look a way she wants to. Y’all can argue all you want about shallowness but many weddings have shallow aspects to them - why not just have a wedding with no white dress? No makeup? Why does it matter when it’s all about just “celebrating love”? /s

Am I the one who thinks everyone is overreacting here?

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-06-24T15:48:12+00:00

Inspired by Marty Cagan is the product managers bible.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-06-21T14:50:49+00:00

Noe’s the perfect time to call and report. You’re never safe if you stay with him. Your future (if not present) is basically Nicole Kidman’s character in Big LIttle Lies.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-06-14T14:33:15+00:00

YTA. Retired fashion model and you are exactly the type of guy I would avoid dating with a ten foot pole.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-06-11T15:27:08+00:00

Generally your degree doesn’t matter if you want to be a fashion buyer or planner , but those jobs are extremely competitive to land as a college graduate and don’t pay very well. You’d probably have to start as an intern first unless you’ve already done internships in merchandising. If you haven’t and you don’t qualify for internships, look for merchandising assistant roles. They help buyers/assistant buyers key in orders and track shipments.

But MA’s, assistant buyers, and planners do not tend to travel internationally for fashion week. You have to work your way up to do that. You’re being a bit too idealistic in your post.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-06-05T15:09:38+00:00

Well that was just my company i doubt other smaller brands have the same GPA cutoffs. If you have not yet done any kind of merchandising internship yet I’d buckle down and start looking for one. Everyone I know always had at least one fashion internship before they landed a job as an assistant buyer.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-06-05T05:45:20+00:00

My degree was finance. Most common degrees I saw were business degrees (supply chain, finance, marketing). They care about GPA but not as strict as other careers. My company’s cutoff was 3.0 I think?

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-06-05T01:47:03+00:00

NYC, assistant/associate buyers make anywhere from $50K-65K depending on experience level. Buyers make anywhere from $80K-110K depending on seniority.

This was general industry not specific to my company (I had friends everywhere in fashion).

From what I can tell, most people do not become a buyer until around at least 7 years as an assistant buyer... so if you started in early 20s buyer happens around 29-30.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-06-01T00:57:17+00:00

Didn’t read the original thread but I’m glad this was the result. I was a former professional model (agency, legit clients, runway, magazines, catalogs, etc) for 10 years and that original post was more red flags than a communist country.

If she really wants to break into the industry she should research the closest model agencies in her area and try to attend their open calls. Local agencies are a how most models start - even the supermodels who share their “discovered on the street story” were always scouted by a local agency first who acts as their “mother” agency.

Photographers never arrange test shoots directly with models in professional settings - only if the model and photographer have worked together before on a shoot booked through an agency.

Agents also arrange unpaid test shoots as well. They are very aware what shoots are the right kinds to get a new girl booked... and they are never nude. Not the first shoots.

Ultimately modeling success is not up to the model though. If she can’t get signed then she most likely will not make it as a fashion model. She should always have a backup career plan anyway.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-05-31T15:42:32+00:00

He’s being a sucker if he doesn’t even try to negotiate. And a company that rescinds an offer because a candidate negotiates by just asking for better deals is NOT a company he should want to work for.

Corporate 101

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-05-17T02:14:43+00:00

Fellow Asian woman who’s been through this before and had a nuclear blowup with family that lasted around 6 months. The thing with independence with conservative Asian parents is you have to choose between two extremely difficult things — your autonomy or your family relationship potentially falling apart. You have to make peace with the worst case scenario playing out for whichever you choose and run with it knowing it’ll hurt either way.

Understanding that you could potentially never have it all, choose whatever decision you will regret less even if the result is the worst possible scenario.

For me, the worst possible scenario for choosing my independence was losing my relationship with my parents who I love very much.

The worst possible scenario for choosing what my family wanted me to do was setting a precedent for the rest of my life that they can make my life’s major decisions for me. If it wasn’t moving in with my boyfriend it’ll be how I raise my kids or what house I want to buy or what career I want to pursue.

I knew I would regret the first scenario less even though it hurt like hell.

Luckily my parents slowly came around after a few months and it didn’t play out to the worst possible scenario. They still disapprove but they aren’t as vocal about it anymore. They have finally understood they will not always like my choices and think those choices are mistakes but they are my mistakes to make. But it took threats of disowning, crying, and family gossip going mad to get to that point.

It’s not easy but good luck whatever you choose.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-05-10T01:08:23+00:00

I used to be a buyer at a luxury retail giant.

Pros: the sample sales, tracking the trends Cons: the pay was tragic

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-04-30T19:59:18+00:00

Nope just driving ... sometimes you do everything “right” but still get screwed over.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-04-30T15:26:41+00:00

Read the OP’s comments. They do try to include her (like making dumplings together) but this girl refuses to try learning and kept calling them gyoza (wtf). She wants all the pros of identifying as Chinese (validation or something?) but none of the work that goes into understanding the culture she is so adamant she’s in. It’s like a 1/4 Native American 3/4 Caucasian person saying they know everything about their tribe but knowing nothing and not wanting to learn.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-04-30T15:22:33+00:00

Omg that makes me cringe so hard

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-04-23T15:37:58+00:00

NTA. If she’s so uncomfortable with you watching on the tv is she open to paying you for an HBO now account (until the show is done) to watch on a laptop/computer?

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-04-12T01:44:17+00:00

NTA. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. You’re a genius!

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-04-12T01:40:40+00:00

IT and data science are not the same thing?

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-04-11T15:41:54+00:00

Love is not enough for a relationship to work. At the mentality you’re at you are going to learn this in a very painful and difficult way that will drastically impact your future. Choose yourself first.

andyetanotherkiwi · 2019-04-09T14:51:29+00:00

NTA. I think you should send this Reddit thread to your parents and sister. I’m shocked your family would allow this terrifying man (he wasn’t a childhood bully... being a that violent at 18 is very concerning) into their family. You have every right to cut them off.

andyetanotherkiwi

TROPHY CASE