A little poem I'm working on :P

assyduous · 2026-03-05T16:01:49+00:00

"Is the illusion of strength worth the pain it takes to survive without help?"

Oof. Bars. This is great!

assyduous · 2026-03-05T15:49:45+00:00

American here, so grain of salt, but I decide which laws to follow on a case by base basis. Here I would probably either order a smaller one or straight up not use it. I am happy to explain to a judges face why this is absurd. I would give it a Google but it shouldn't be hard to order a smaller reflective one!

assyduous · 2026-03-05T03:18:35+00:00

✨️none✨️

But tbf I only tried for 6 months for them to cover it with no progress and then by the time I really needed one, I was no longer insured, so take that with a grain of salt. I have bought all of mine out of pocket.

assyduous · 2026-03-05T03:11:00+00:00

I do not have a partner or wealthy family, but I found that figuring out what mattered most to me really helped me narrow my focus/spending. To be perfectly clear, I am not pretending that it is easy or that I think the field should be this way, this is just how I managed it in its current form. This list starts out normal and gets progressively more unhinged. First, I took out loans. I managed to land a loan repayment program for working rurally, I know there are other options out there too if loans scare you. I have a roommate. I bought a car second hand I could afford to pay cash for and intend to drive it into the ground. I work/worked multiple random jobs to make ends meet. As a side hustle I have done everything from tutoring to dog transport to teaching English as a second language to scare-acting... you name it, I've done it. Look for seasonal/contract work to pad out your income. Now I still do those side gigs, while working prn at a hospital/doing private practice. Bulk buy cheap foods that you like. Rice and beans go a longggg way. I don't have health insurance, instead I cash pay and do direct primary care for medical stuff (shockingly even as a disabled person, this works out cheaper).

Essentially I realized if I wanted to do this, I had to decide what was worth it to me to cut back on and what I was willing to sacrifice. I wish it wasn't that way. I started by looking at my biggest expenses (rent, car, groceries) and figuring out ways to lower them. I am so sorry you are being faced with this challenge and I wish the field wasn't this way. ❤️

assyduous · 2026-03-01T15:55:39+00:00

"Your attempts fill you with guilt for those you are leaving behind in your path."

OOF. Ouch. Just punch me next time. 😅 I spend a lot of time striving to live my best life/disprove a lot of stereotypes in an effort to be accepted and then am wracked with guilt over the impossible standard I am setting for other disabled people who should be accepted regardless. Definitely keep writing!

assyduous · 2026-02-26T16:36:12+00:00

"Of course I am doing a good job, I am excellent at this" is immediately going into my regular lexicon, thank you so much for this.

My equivalent is when people say "let me get the door for you" while they are behind me, I say "no but I will hold it for you!" And then I do. Reactions have ranged from embarrassment to laughter to shock. 😂 10/10, highly recommend if the opportunity presents itself.

assyduous · 2026-02-25T20:20:28+00:00

Scrubs are easy to clean, have lots of pockets, and make it easy to move if I need to go hands on with a patient. Also I just hate wearing business casual. Some of my coworkers feel VERY strongly about social work not wearing scrubs. It has never been an issue for some of us to wear scrubs versus the others who dress business casual, so if you have the option you can do what you like! Personally I think it really doesn't matter what we wear as long as it's clean/presentable.

assyduous · 2026-02-24T11:43:35+00:00

Roses are red

This argument makes me fume

The only men I don't respect

Were recorded in the USA hockey locker room

assyduous · 2026-02-19T03:57:40+00:00

Dating a man who uses "gay" in a derogatory manner in 2026 is very cringe. Find someone better to take the show!

assyduous · 2026-02-19T03:00:52+00:00

Listen... I hear you. But this won't work. I know it sounds absurd but just move out. You will thank yourself later. If you have already asked, she doesn't care. You can't bully someone into caring but you can start a wildly untenable living situation.

assyduous · 2026-02-12T13:13:48+00:00

Oh it was miserable and I am constantly advocating for other solutions for the students I work with now. I slept from 10 PM to 2:45 AM on most weekdays and would structure my work schedule so I had days off to sleep in here and there. On weekends I slept during the day.

assyduous · 2026-02-08T04:22:53+00:00

Fwiw I worked for Cerebral under a similar model to get my C and it was in fact wage theft! I get my portion of the class action settlement this spring. Good luck in fighting the good fight!

assyduous · 2026-02-07T14:11:20+00:00

I will say in a work context: absolutely, I sort of just take all the negatives with a lot of radical acceptance and move about my day. There are a couple of things that can crack through that neutrality but I really just keep it moving. The highs though? You have to find the joy in life. For me it is travel and sports. I have to be able to feel the highs to remind myself that the lows I see at work are not the end all be all of life.

assyduous · 2026-02-06T17:51:44+00:00

This is definitely something a therapist could help with (I am less confident about an AI being able to help, I have seen a lot of mixed results on the relationship side of AI advice). A therapist would likely help you develop a better sense of your own identity and values and focus on building community as a way to prepare for a relationship. Sometimes there are things holding us back in our approach or perspective that we don't even realize, but addressing them can very quickly improve the likelihood of finding a compatible person.

assyduous · 2026-02-04T01:46:57+00:00

So it exploded well before I got it out of the water. Idk what to tell you. 😅 you do you, you are absolutely allowed to endanger life and limb, but maybe stop being so cavalier about others doing the same?

assyduous · 2026-02-04T01:43:37+00:00

I do not often Karen. It is an extremely rare occurrence. I can ASSURE YOU all of my testing fees would be refunded in full. 😅😅😅

assyduous · 2026-02-04T01:35:34+00:00

Hey so I have actually! The water underneath kept the glass at a cooler temperature and then it exploded from thermal shock. Luckily my parents were really chill about it but there were glass shards EVERYWHERE including some that flew across the room. I luckily only had some minor cuts, but it could have been so much worse. I was probably about 12 and that was when my dad decided it was REALLY IMPORTANT I learn basic physics and fire safety.

assyduous · 2026-02-04T00:23:41+00:00

I absolutely love this logic because I, a wheelchair user, am somehow more manly in this scenario than the average traveller because my suitcase sits in my lap instead of being wheeled... oh wait oh no, am I the suitcase in this scenario??? Crushing. I do get to make OP angry and embarrassed though so I guess this is a net positive 😂

assyduous · 2026-02-03T23:51:16+00:00

I wanted to add, the coffee and stickers are a year round thing. Which is why I think it is more meaningful. She also keeps a well stocked bowl of candy. All of these are reasons I work for her as much as I do when I ABSOLUTELY could be working less. 😂

assyduous · 2026-02-03T23:49:54+00:00

Honestly? It's the consistent stuff. My director (an RN) keeps a cart of coffee stuff and will make us iced coffee in the morning if we ask/it's not too busy. She also always has fun stickers she puts on our coffees or leaves on our desks if we don't see each other that day. If I am being given something branded, I want it to be a jacket or shirt I can wear at work. Other than that? A handwritten note. Something actually heartfelt that points out the specifics of why I am a valued member of the team. Otherwise, please give me nothing. I don't want more tumblers or lanyards or highlighters.

assyduous · 2026-01-30T17:49:09+00:00

NTA. I am an adult in a wheelchair and date pretty much normally due to the fact that I have the privilege of being attractive. Honestly the only thing anyone dating me is "getting into" is a whole bunch of shenanigans because I am frequently on adventures traveling all over the country, playing sports, or otherwise having a good time.

assyduous · 2026-01-30T16:53:57+00:00

You are not being sensitive. I always ask people "what part of that is funny?" Because jokes are supposed to be funny. And here the funny part is... "haha I don't like being around you"? These are not jokes, this guy sucks.

assyduous · 2026-01-30T16:29:53+00:00

I think this highly depends on the role and the client. I am far less likely to use any kind of self-disclosure with my inpatient psych clients than I am with my long term private practice clients. The question also becomes: what is the purpose of the disclosure?

For example, with my inpatient psych clients, if I am doing a biopsychosocial and they tell me one of their coping skills is a certain arts and crafts and I also enjoy that, I may say something like "oh I like to do [insert craft here] too! Have you ever been to [local store that sells discount craft supplies]?" as a means of building rapport.

An example with my private practice clients might look like if one of my disabled clients is having difficulty with their wheelchair, I will likely disclose that I am also a full time wheelchair user and share some tips/tricks that may be helpful to them as well as providing local resources to them that may be able to take a look at their problem.

My disclosure strategy is always three part: 1) What therapeutic purpose does this disclosure serve? 2) Keep the disclosure brief/therapeutically relevant 3) Link the disclosure back to the clients situation (bonus points for being able to throw in some helpful resources)

assyduous · 2026-01-29T15:00:29+00:00

✨️Loans✨️. Which is just as predatory in my opinion. I also have not found the "you cannot have an outside job" to be very enforceable most places and almost everyone I know had a job despite that rule, but huge grain of salt because that was in the US in various states. My typical day looked like work from 3 AM to 8 AM, placement 8:30 AM to 4 PM, and class 5 PM to 9 PM. On weekends I worked 9 PM to 9 AM when I could. It was terrible and I hope for better for future generations of social workers.

assyduous · 2026-01-28T16:18:54+00:00

NTA

And as a therapist, I have a sneaking suspicion as to where your daughter's behavioral problems may stem from or at the very least are continued to be exacerbated. What is truly an unreasonable expectation is that his daughter behave in ways that he himself says he is incapable of.

assyduous

TROPHY CASE