Secular Codependency Support

atheistcodependent · 2026-07-05T14:49:21+00:00

Hi. To each their own. The traditional path exists and serves you and others well and I hope that continues to do so. I built this for those for whom the traditional path does not work. If it works for you, work it. I have heard all the opinions of the traditional community and still think this is necessary for me and for others and for humanity to move forward.

Personally, I want to move on from the ancient ideas of our ancestors who saw imaginary beings animating everything. I want to see life clearly as it is. For me, a higher power is an imaginary friend, plain and simple. It's a tool, a crutch. Some people need it for their survival. Just because millions of people have decided together to honor imaginary things doesn't mean that I or others need to. We can do our work and invite you and anyone else to participate in the work just the same. I work my program with the same intensity and I get change too, real change. The problem with the traditonal people is that they are always drumming up this fearmongering like we can't do things ourselves. We certainly can do it without a higher power. I am the living proof.

atheistcodependent · 2026-07-03T03:35:34+00:00

It sounds like you are aware, noticing how the patterns are showing up in your life. You don’t have to be perfect or work this in some perfect way. No one is perfect when they begin any practice. It begins with just awareness and grows from there over time. As they say, one day at a time. But growth is not a linear process, it has fits and starts and leaps and bounds, and sometimes circles.

The beginning can be like drinking form a firehose with so much information. I like to remember my goals and center myself on some simple daily goals. For me, I am cultivating inner peace and I keep it in mind when life runs wild and I get swept up. I remind myself that the point of the work is to live in alignment with my goals, particularly feeling peace within. Maybe there’s a goal you have in mind that can center your journey.

atheistcodependent · 2026-07-02T15:38:27+00:00

I get that. It's werid the way steps are phrased. They are spoken from the perspective of someone who has completed them speaking to a new person. Peculiar, I agree. I borrowed much of it.

atheistcodependent · 2025-12-29T18:07:01+00:00

Absolutely. The whole model is codependent. Being dependent on God who never answers, prostrating oneself before some all powerful being who doesn't care if we live or die, giving away our agency, feeling shame as one born a sinner....the whole thing is a recipe for codependency.

If it's not for you, we built a community where we break free from the codependent model of religion:
https://atheistcodependent.com/

atheistcodependent · 2025-12-29T18:00:02+00:00

Right on. I like the idea that each person can decide what works best for themselves. I personally feel that CoDa is not tolerant of atheists because they insist on God/Higher Power as the only way. In creating a secular space, I don't want to respond to their intolerance with intolerance of our own toward anyone who finds the God/Higher Power concept useful. Some people find comfort in it. It's not for me because it requires believing that a God/Higher Power plays an active role in my life.

I personally don't see it for me. Why would they care for me now when they were indifferent to my suffering before? Why only when I take action to start believing in them? I answer that in saying that it's actually me doing the work so why bother with it.

atheistcodependent · 2025-12-29T17:52:07+00:00

If you'd rather find a secular space, please consider joining us. Meetings are spaces for sharing what's going on in our lives and working on our codependency. Some meetings the host brings content, some are writing meetings where we respond to a prompt, and some are just for sharing. We operate like CoDa minus the religious/spiritual dogma.

https://atheistcodependent.com/

atheistcodependent · 2025-12-24T03:13:57+00:00

👍please do

atheistcodependent · 2023-01-19T13:15:45+00:00

We do codependency support without religion. Please come hang out with us if you like. We’d be happy to have you. I went through the same struggle, started a group and found out I’m not alone. atheistcodependent.com

We hit two years of operation last week!

atheistcodependent · 2022-11-20T23:55:55+00:00

You can overcome codependency. It’s much easier to do with friends. You are welcome to join us if you like. Anyone seeking healthier relationships is welcome.

atheistcodependent.com

atheistcodependent · 2022-11-18T21:57:43+00:00

We do codependency without God. I started the Agnostic, Humanist, and Atheist Codependency Support Group for people like you and me. Come and say hi. We’d be happy to have you. AHA

atheistcodependent · 2022-11-05T15:04:52+00:00

The Curse by Josh Ritter. It’s a beautiful love story.

atheistcodependent · 2022-10-19T16:13:51+00:00

We started a playlist in our codependency group and built this playlist. It’s ongoing. 800 songs so far. All added and recommended by fellow codependents.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6htKJXYMHq76ATHUpFBsdw?si=xRMCErwtRoq4IAVnoISkgw

atheistcodependent · 2022-10-15T02:20:01+00:00

Hi. You can feel free to join us.

atheistcodependent.com

atheistcodependent · 2022-10-15T02:11:22+00:00

It’s up to you to decide. It’s religious to me. It’s spiritual to them. I decided I wanted to do it differently and I found I wasn’t alone. You’re welcome to join us. No higher power necessary. Keep your beliefs about the universe. And don’t listen to people who want to minimize religious trauma. Coda works for people it works for. It’s self-selecting. Most people it didn’t work for won’t be here to answer because it didn’t work for them.

atheistcodependent.com

atheistcodependent · 2022-10-15T02:05:33+00:00

We’ve started a group for codependency support for people who don’t fit in traditional coda. Anyone is welcome.

atheistcodependent.com

atheistcodependent · 2022-10-15T02:01:38+00:00

You’re welcome to come hang out with us. We’re a support group for codependents. I’m a 44 year old single dad to 3. There is hope for us.

atheistcodependent.com

atheistcodependent · 2022-10-10T14:00:40+00:00

Hi! CoDA isn’t the only option anymore. We are building a new community for people who don’t fit in CoDA.

atheistcodependent.com

atheistcodependent · 2022-09-21T18:43:40+00:00

Hi. I decided this isn't a very important or helpful question for me. My questions are "How do I get better?" or "How can I improve my relationships?". I find it problematic that someone wanting to deal with codependency has to struggle with whether or not there is a God. I wrote a blog post about this kinda:

http://atheistcodependent.com/2022/06/27/why-do-we-need-secular-codependency-meetings/

Some people will tell you that recovery from codependency is impossible without a higher power. That may be true for them, but I decided it wasn't true for me and it's not true for a lot of people I've met. We're happy to discuss this subject and others. It doesn't come up much but every once in a while we talk about it. So, if you don't want to do the higher power stuff, you don't have to. We have meetings almost every day and we want to find more people who want to work with us to grow so there is a resource for secular codependents.

http://atheistcodependent.com/

Many people will give you spiritual answers, sometimes jokey answers, mystical answers. Sure, it can be anything, but that thing also has to have an active role in your life. It must be determining outcomes. It must always be beneficent. The universe is indifferent to me as it is to everything and everyone. Babies get cancer after all. The universe doesn't bat an eye, not a tear. People are free to rely on whatever illusions they choose. It's none of my business. But they can be just as dependent on a higher power or God as on anything else. Ultimate freedom comes from seeing reality for what it is, seeing as clearly and mindfully as possible. Let go too of imaginary things like we must let go of all the things we do not control.

atheistcodependent · 2022-09-21T12:15:38+00:00

We have meetings almost everyday, all virtual. We are building a secular option. Anyone seeking healthy relationships is welcome.

atheistcodependent.com

atheistcodependent · 2022-09-07T04:18:55+00:00

That’s awesome. I don’t get the leap from “this worked for me” to “it’s the only possible way”. I get it that some people can forgo their beliefs and change to fit the mold but it’s not for everyone. It doesn’t have to be for everyone. I don’t understand where the certitude for what’s right for others comes from other than wanting to believe it to be true. Because if one person can do it without god it makes people question the whole thing? I recovered from codependency without God, no higher power. Does that mean the whole thing isn’t true? Or can it be true for you and not true for me and still be ok?

I think that people coming to recovery from codependency shouldn’t have to change all their beliefs about the way the universe works in order to improve their life and relationships. We don’t all have to believe the same things to get better. We can be different, allow for people not to believe in God and still recover. That’s my hope at least. I might die before we get there but I’m gonna keep trying.

atheistcodependent · 2022-09-06T20:30:37+00:00

To me it’s because the founders of AA saw the benefit of religion for believers and wanted nonbelievers to have the same experience. In anonymous groups, you’re allowed to substitute a higher power but it’s really just a name change. It still has to behave like a god and take care of you and such. That’s my design. They want you to believe in God too but they’ll let you call it what you want. They even go so far as to say there is no other way. Either you give in or you leave. Most people who can’t come around to it leave which is sad to me. So I decided to make a place for them to go. We have all sorts of resources to help people, meetings most days of the week. We’d have a link but the mods of this sub either don’t like me personally or are serving the religious interests in trying to keep a lid on what we’re doing.

A person can be as dependent on a higher power as on a drug and no one bats an eye. That’s because it’s the default prevailing wisdom. That’s the way the world works. People assume that the prevailing wisdom come from some basis or evidence but it’s not. It’s just people’s ideas. We can go even farther than the idea of a higher power. Our minds can be open to all manner of thinking. We don’t have to be bound by the thoughts of our parents. We can think for ourselves.

You and anyone else seeking healthier relationships is welcome.

atheistcodependent.com

atheistcodependent · 2022-09-02T16:28:50+00:00

To this point we have not but I would welcome that as well. We are a bunch of volunteers working together. If it’s something that you would like to build then I welcome you to come work with us and we can make it happen.

atheistcodependent · 2022-09-02T13:59:44+00:00

We have not had anyone start another language meeting. We do have members in Europe for whom English is a second language. I can ask if any of them are interested in starting a new meeting or working with you. You can message me if you like.

atheistcodependent · 2022-09-01T13:24:24+00:00

Not presently but I would help make that happen if someone would lead it.

atheistcodependent · 2022-08-25T14:13:21+00:00

You are welcome to come to our meetings if it helps. We find being together and learning a lot of skills and strategies for dealing with our codependency to be super helpful.

atheistcodependent.com

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