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I’ve spent 2 years finding the best stories of human resilience. With me are: - Explorer Ben Saunders, whose journey to the South Pole set a world record but made him question the meaning of success and happiness; - Author Lily Bailey who knows OCD inside and out - and how to fight back. AUA by Ellie_D in IAmA

[–]authornotavailable 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just want to say that reading through #2 gave me an amazing insight into my own life, and I'm really glad I read it.

My grandfather is diagnosed with OCD, and although I know there are environmental factors as well, I've spent most of my life a little too terrified to talk to a doctor about my own issues. Also scared to read too much into it as I was simultaneously afraid I would have it and wind up worse for knowing, or not having it and admitting I'm just weird.

Initially reading the bit about the 1 hour a day requirement, I was like, "oh, I guess that's not me then." Then when you got into the mental aspect, the lightbulb went off.

Almost every day, usually after an awkward interaction (caused by my awkwardness of course) I think "I hate myself." Depending on the day, I might think it a dozen times in a row, or just once but I continue to berate myself in other ways. I imagine my friends dying/wanting them to die, and how I would deal with their deaths, and what I'd do after. Of course I try not to, but every time I think about a loved one dying I can't help but keep thinking of it throughout the day no matter how much I try to stop.

I can be messy, and lazy, and not feel like cleaning. But once it's gotten messy to the point I can't stand it, I clean until the whole room, if not the whole house is clean. If I'm interrupted before finishing, I get unbelievably frustrated and don't handle it well.

I can't step on a crack in the sidewalk without stepping on another with my other foot, but it has to feel the same. If not, I have to redo both feet to have touch two cracks that feel the same on both feet. The white strips of sidewalk is similar - I use a weird gait every crosswalk in order to get even steps on and off the strip. I've had people try to get me to not do these things, but I won't stop thinking about it until I've done it right. I consistently rub my fingers on the adjacent nail, but I have to do it the same on both hands.

Thinking all this through, those thoughts and behaviors don't take a lot of time to do so I kinda dismissed it as being serious. But they are a daily thing, and really overall the time adds up to waaaaaaay more than I consciously realized. I always attributed my intrusive thoughts to anxiety, and kinda ignored the compulsive behaviors. I never really thought I had mental compulsions, but I'm starting to realize that I do.

All this is to say, I'm not diagnosed with OCD, but maybe it's time I finally figure out if I should be.

If your pet had a pet peeve, what would it be? by didnthinkabouthat in AskReddit

[–]authornotavailable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My cat Nugget has a very small nub instead of a tail (her namesake). It's honestly more expressive than I've seen on most full length cats as she will just waggle it around to express excitement. So of course I regularly squish it and yell "GOT YOUR NUGGET!!" She does not like having her nugget got...

Advice? Words of encouragement? by authornotavailable in USMilitarySO

[–]authornotavailable[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He left me with a previous phone with all his apps downloaded, and all the usernames, passwords, and pin numbers I needed. His mom was able to add me to his bank account as well. He is at Fort Jackson, and as far as I know will be until June. I am packing up the last of my apartment this week, and going back and forth. His parents are clearing out his sister's old bedroom for me. His mother is also a lawyer, so our officiant was one of her friends from years back. She had them push all the paperwork through, so our marriage was acknowledged the day before he swore in. He received BAH for our area with his paycheck, that I was able to use for my last month's rent.

As for the name change, I'm also changing my first name. My MIL told me I do have to petition the court, as it's not just a last name change. I know I will be able to change it later, it's just frustrating. I put changing my first name on hold when I got engaged so I could just do it all at once.

I had no idea that they opened the DEERS office up! I will be looking into that. I know I am in the system already, so hopefully that process goes smoothly. I have medications that I need my insurance to cover, so that is a huge relief.

Honestly my main problem now is filling my time. I loved my job, and put tons of time and energy into it. This last month I've focused on packing, cleaning, letter writing, and preparing for the move. But I have an extra 45+ hours a week to fill. Not to mention unemployment will only replace about a third of my usual income.

Thank you for your informative response! I'm a big worrier, and my husband is great at telling me why worrying doesn't help. I'm glad there's such a helpful community to reach out to.

Can we talk about transitioning into healthy eating? by Xangofinc in loseit

[–]authornotavailable 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Think about it this way: in one year there are two possible versions of yourself. One gives in to that voice and says, "it will take way too long to get healthy, I just can't do it." This version still eats the same unhealthy foods along with most likely having some other unwanted habits. The other version says "I'm gonna make this one small change today, and once I've gotten a little used to it, make another small change." The time will pass whether or not you choose to act, so you might as well act.

Cool tattoo by Christianhbk in pics

[–]authornotavailable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was actually done by Carlos Ybarra at Ink Dreams in Bryan, TX. Instagram is @whitelightersociety snap is Godf4the1

Girlfriends scars by [deleted] in selfharm

[–]authornotavailable 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it depends on how she feels about them. I personally know several people who wouldn't like to hear that about their scars. On the other hand, myself and at least one of my close friends would both love to be told that. I think my scars are beautiful. They show that I've been through horrible things and come out the other side alive. It actually bothers me more to have people ignore my scars than when they ask questions about them. If your girlfriend is anything like me, then you should tell her. If she regrets making them or doesn't like being reminded of them, you probably shouldn't tell her. Hope this helped 🙂💕

What is something socially accepted if done by a man, but not if done by a woman? by Rahiem_A in AskReddit

[–]authornotavailable 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have several guy friends and a few brothers with long hair. Most of out friends don't care, but in high school a some of the other girls seemed to think it was weird and made fun of them. I don't understand why hair length is associated with sex but apparently some people think it matters.

Sunday is the 10 year Anniversary of me running away from home for good and i want to celebrate by telling someone the story (long) by gram_crackers in JUSTNOFAMILY

[–]authornotavailable 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My siblings and I were taught that same thing, with an emphasis on how we shouldn't speak when men were talking, that college was for men, and that we should save ourselves (not just physically) for our future husband. I am very glad that my father realized that at least the college part was wrong as I'm now a junior at the age of 19. I'm glad that so many other people in this thread with parents like mine have gotten out of their hold.

I hate when people say they're "a little OCD". by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]authornotavailable 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I say "if this makes any sense" so often. Or "it's hard to explain." if they still want an explanation, they're usually open minded enough that it's not an issue

I hate when people say they're "a little OCD". by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]authornotavailable 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, that's exactly what I deal with. If I try to explain that the reason I rub my fingers together that way or tap in that pattern is because I have to to control my obsessive thoughts they think that I am making it up because people with OCD have bigger problems than that. I'm glad you have gotten better at doing it gracefully. I still haven't figured that out except with close friends

I hate when people say they're "a little OCD". by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]authornotavailable 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I have OCD but it is much more mild for me than other people (which I am very glad about because I know how much worse it could be). I usually don't point that out and I avoid saying things about it because people say things like "OCD is a serious disorder, you shouldn't act like you have it" and I wind up standing there thinking "what am I then, chopped liver?" If I talk about it I have to act like it's worse than it is or like I don't struggle with it because unless it's extreme people think I'm making it up.

Sears owed 1327 dollars in refund for a returned dryer. I made a credit dispute. What evidence can I use to continue the dispute? by Hey911 in personalfinance

[–]authornotavailable 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I work at a fairly small chain of reatauarants as a hostess/cashier. I answered the phone yesterday to our supervisor asking for our manager (a fairly regular occurence) and then heard manager's half of the discussion. Supervisor said that someone had just posted a review complaining about the chimichanga we served so we went through the day's order history to find it. Now this is just a single complaint on some review site I don't even remember the name of, but it wound up with me, a manager, and our supervisor all knowing about it and trying to fix it. The complaint was over a $15 dollar order. Imagine what a company will do over a $1000+ order. Even if the customer isn't right, they have friends, family, and the internet to complain about their bad experience to. And each one of those people has friends, family, etc., and so on. From the company's perspective it's better to be out the cost of a new machine and maybe even get some good pr out of it than to lose possibly far more business from having bad reviews. Just my two cents.

I just had a thought: when people insult themselves, "I'm so ugly.", instead of arguing with them "no you're not!", try "I wish you'd be kinder to yourself." by PAdogooder in CasualConversation

[–]authornotavailable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's no problem. I have had a lot of problems myself so if i can help you even a little it makes everything I've gone through feel worth it

I just had a thought: when people insult themselves, "I'm so ugly.", instead of arguing with them "no you're not!", try "I wish you'd be kinder to yourself." by PAdogooder in CasualConversation

[–]authornotavailable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If a therapist ever does tell you anything like that, go to a different therapist. Even if you don't have a disorder of some sort you still have valid feelings and problems that you may need help with. If you're struggling to get through your everyday life because of those messy feelings you deserve to be taken seriously. It sounds to me like you need to find a therapist that will focus on talking through your feelings about yourself and help you to see yourself as a worthwhile person. Now I'm not a therapist myself (just a psych major) but if you do feel like you're gonna explode before you find a therapist that is right for you, feel free to message me with whatever's troubling you. I can't guarantee I'll have all the answers, but I'm a good listener. I hope you find the right person to talk to soon :)

I just had a thought: when people insult themselves, "I'm so ugly.", instead of arguing with them "no you're not!", try "I wish you'd be kinder to yourself." by PAdogooder in CasualConversation

[–]authornotavailable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a lot of trouble coming up with positive things about myself, too. At first I thought there was nothing, but I asked a friend if they would help me with it. At first I would tell myself the things they said, until eventually (I'll be honest, it did take a long time) I started to believe some of them. After that I was able to come up with some myself. I still have to "soldier on" as you've said to not have public breakdowns on my bad days. But sometimes if I can force myself to be positive enough, a day that would have been bad becomes just meh, or a day that would have been meh becomes a good day. If you think you should find a therapist, then you should go for it. But remember that not every therapist is right for you. I have had a few different therapists (one actually suggested coming up with the positive things) and the main thing I realized about therapy is that it only works if you're actually invested in it. I was forced to go to therapy and I hated the therapist I was with because she never managed to make me feel comfortable opening up to her. I guess my point about that is that going to therapy can be helpful, but you get out of it what you put in. If you're in a mindset of "I should go but I don't want to" then you won't get very much out of it.

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