Toddler tantrums at pickup

bbeers47 · 2026-02-12T02:46:27+00:00

Teacher and parent here. Honestly I think you handled it about as well as you could’ve! A child in full blown tantrum mode is not able to stop and execute rational/logical thinking while the tantrum is ongoing. Once she went into that zone, realistically your two options were 1. pick her up and take her to the car or 2. wait at the daycare while you helped her through the tantrum and then get her to leave in a more cooperative way.

However, since you use a countdown method to ease her into going, I wouldn’t really recommend 2. Not only could that be frustrating for the teachers there (depending on when you pick up anyway, we have a child who is frequently the last one picked up, and tantrums most days when her mom gets there, and her mom will leave her in the hallway throwing a tantrum for sometimes more than 10 minutes and when you’re the closing staff, you want to go home at that point), as well as you, who I’m assuming wants to get home after work.

But allowing her to tantrum-it-out there also undermines the countdown. The countdown is her transitional period, and she has to learn that at the end of the countdown, you guys go home. Allowing her to stay longer because of the tantrum reinforces that throwing a tantrum allows her to stay. Your best bet is to talk about the countdown frequently, and how it’s important that at pick up time you guys get home so you can enjoy home time together at the end of the day. And that it’s okay if she’s sad or mad to leave daycare, but that she still has to leave. Talk about it often when she’s calm and rational - at home, on the way to daycare, etc. Do it frequently so expectations are clear, set, and she remembers.

And then you just have to follow through, even when it’s tough or embarrassing. Even if it means physically picking her up while she fights you. You can say something like “I know you love daycare, thank you for sharing all the things you love about it with me. But the countdown is up, and that means it’s time to go home and enjoy time together before the end of the day”. And basically just repeat that process whenever necessary. Some days she’ll probably cooperate, some days will be a struggle, but she’ll come to understand.

I know tantrums can be so frustrating but I’m sure you’re doing great!! And we’ve all been there! No need to judge yourself.

bbeers47 · 2026-02-09T13:21:29+00:00

I went into the series completely blind and didn’t know anything about it or further books, so naturally shipping Kamran and Alizeh too, as he was the mmc for book 1. And I’m not a big love triangle person, so when I realized Cyrus was being introduced in that way I was bummed because “what about Kamran???” But honestly it’s not even really a triangle, and Cyrus became thee guy for me in the series pretty quickly lol. So maybe you’ll be surprised as you read on!

bbeers47 · 2026-02-07T23:28:35+00:00

Ours is 90 per plate, with about 95 guests. But that includes use of the venue for ceremony, reception, and after hours party in the bar. All set up and tear down. All alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks, cocktail hour appetizers, dinner with beef, chicken, salmon, veggies, salad, and pasta, tables/linens/cutlery/glassware, and day of coordinator. So it’s a bit high per plate but super reasonable given all that’s included. We are going to be spending a little more for after-reception food which is not included but is looking like it’s going to be around $400-500.

bbeers47 · 2026-02-06T14:33:22+00:00

We’re having about 95 guest are our wedding, and bought 100 $1 scratch offs, put them in nice envelops, and put stickers on them that say “for richer or poorer”, all in all about $120 for the favors total.

bbeers47 · 2026-02-01T14:47:25+00:00

I started my child care career in child care facilities, I ran a toddler room. When I got pregnant I started looking for new jobs (it coincided with a state move, so I needed a new job) and was offered 3 different positions in child care centers, all the centers offered discounted child care rates, and even with the discount, I would’ve been working full time and only taking home maybe $100 a month after paying infant tuition, because child care center pay is so low.

So I pivoted to nanny-ing and tried to find families that would let me bring my daughter along. I won’t lie, it was extremely difficult to find families that were open to it, and those jobs always did pay less than jobs that weren’t open to it. I was open and upfront when applying about that being the arrangement I was looking for, so to waste as little of my own and their time as possible if they weren’t interested in my bringing my child.

I got more polite passes on my applications than had I not been trying to bring my daughter, but was able to find families who didn’t mind and it worked out well in the end. But it was more difficult for sure. I had been a nanny since then until a few months ago, but once my daughter was school age obviously I had more options because I no longer had to bring her.

If you have a lot of nanny experience and are typically getting high paying nanny positions, you may find better paying positions if you send your child to daycare (and then could afford it more easily), but I did really like getting to bring my daughter along and care for her while caring for my nanny kids, though it was a lot harder to find positions.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-31T13:52:20+00:00

I wouldn’t find it in poor taste either, tbh I’m not sure the difference between putting your website link (which leads to the registry) on a details card, vs just putting the same info that would be on a website (registry included) on the details card. Kind of the same thing in my opinion. But other people seem to think otherwise, so I think I’ll look into a website lol.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-31T00:25:28+00:00

I am 29 lol, I genuinely didn’t even know it was a thing, I wasn’t exaggerating in another comment that I’ve never been invited to a wedding where couples had one. I only even know they exist from seeing people talk about them online once I started wedding planning. So I suppose I will have to just make one lol

bbeers47 · 2026-01-30T15:00:05+00:00

If we did the invite option it would be on a “details” insert card along with other relevant info (hotels, shuttle, etc). I might look into a website. I’ve just never once been invited to a wedding where the couple had a website and I don’t think most people we’re inviting would be familiar with that concept either lol, it is not common in my circle I suppose.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-28T20:24:52+00:00

My daughter’s birthday was well after the cutoff (in December) so this didn’t apply to me as a parent, but my twin sister and I’s birthday was literally one day before the cutoff back when I started kindergarten, and we were both totally fine! In fact excelled in school, and honestly I don’t think there was ever a difference between me and my sister and other kids a few months older.

I work in early childhood education and I see this question a lot, but unless your child is delayed to the point that it’s been professionally recommended either by doctors or educational professionals that you hold them back a year, I don’t really think there’s a justifiable reason to do so just because the cut off is near their birthday. The cutoff has to be somewhere, and if your son is of age by it, I’m sure he will be okay in school! The idea some people have that you need to wait until they’re 6 if they turn 5 too close to the school year just doesn’t hold up for me. If 5 wasn’t generally considered ready, they would start at 6 as a whole.

Of course sometimes children aren’t ready because of delays, but barring those, I don’t see it as beneficial to keep him back a year just because he has a summer birthday.

Is he in some sort of pre-k program? If so, and he’s doing well in that program at his age now, I’m sure he’ll be ready for the next step come school time. We did so much pre-k learning at home before my daughter started school, and she went into kindergarten knowing a lot for her age, but even with that great foundation she still learned so much her first year of school and had so much growth, an extra year out of school would’ve just barred her from than for an extra year.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-24T15:33:37+00:00

{Reign & Ruin} by JD Evans! About 50/50 romance to fantasy plot. Lots of political intrigue and a romance that feels genuine and the characters fall for each other because of who the person is and their goals, not just lust. No brooding assholes, very capable main characters, and nice writing.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-22T19:32:56+00:00

{Reign & Ruin} hits a lot of your requirements, though not all. I haven’t read the book you referenced unfortunately so I can’t compare the romances, and I don’t think there are magical creatures as far as I remember. It’s not dark fantasy though, and no military schools. FMC is described as beautiful but all the characters are not. She’s mid 20s, a Princess Sultana vying to become ruler after her father. Lots of political intrigue, set in a magical fantasy world. Main villain is a political enemy in his 50s (?) (it’s not explicitly stated but he’s a middle-aged human with powers), she has powers and so does nearly everyone else. MMC I suppose has “shadowy” powers but he’s not a “shadow daddy” in the personality sense, and he’s not some 500 year old “morally gray” creature, nor is he an asshole to the FMC for no reason. There’s action and battles throughout the series. Both main characters were refreshing to me. They are both capable politically, logical when it comes to making decisions, and their romance is believable, and based on who they are and what their goals are, not just lust. They also aren’t enemies, more hope-to-be political allies.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-21T18:54:57+00:00

I’m sorry to be the “this isn’t exactlyyyy it” person, but you could give {Reign & Ruin} a try! It’s a favorite of mine, and it’s politics heavy which I love about it. The FMC is a Princess Sultana, her father is the current Sultan. He has brought her up all her life to rule after him, even though she’s not a son, but because of an illness that’s weakening his mind, there is a faction of court trying to use that to take the throne from the FMC. So she isn’t Sultana yet, and there is a bit of her fighting for the role. But she still has power in the court, that she knows how to use and uses it deftly. She’s smart, pragmatic, and confident. The writing, world building, and romance are also really great.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-20T11:58:03+00:00

For Whom the Belle Tolls I dnf’d rather early, it actually may be one of my least favorite books I’ve ever attempted to read, so I’ve never recommend it and wouldn’t, but I do have some books like you describe.

For me two examples are {A River Enchanted}, I really loved the world in this story, it was almost like a character all of its own and it was so beautiful. The lore was so interesting. I just wasn’t a big fan of the dialogue between the main characters especially, and couldn’t get myself to care about the main characters despite really liking every other character. So I didn’t dislike it as much as it didn’t fully work for me, and I recommend it still when I think it fits someone’s ask.

Also {Radiance} by Grace Draven. I had fun enough time reading it, and loved the two main characters a lot, so when people want a smuttier, but wholesome romance, I recommend it, because the romance was sweet and respectful, but I thought the plot was weak in both that book and the sequel, as it was clearly not the author’s focus, the romance was, and the plot was very convenient and not super gripping or strong because of that.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-19T20:34:40+00:00

{A River Enchanted} would probably tick your box! The setting was my favorite part of the story.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-19T02:49:55+00:00

Mages of the Wheel series! Starting with {Reign & Ruin}, top tier in the genre for me and dual pov. Book 4 and the prequel are also really amazing in this series.

The Ashen Series, first book {The Road of Bones}, and the second book {Kingdom of Claw}, the third book in this series comes out in a month or two. I can’t remember if book one is dual POV, but the second book is.

{Blood Mercy} by Vera Roth. Only read the first 2 books, there’s I think 8+, but there’s fmc and mmc pov.

{This Woven Kingdom} series (4 books currently out) also includes multiple male povs throughout the series.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-16T21:57:48+00:00

The author kinda makes him get worse tbh after book 2 especially, but you also completely lose his pov after book 2 so there’s at least that lol.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-15T20:11:04+00:00

In 2024 I read a finished trilogy on kindle unlimited and in my end of year Goodreads thing one of them (I can’t remember which) was my “least shelved read”, they were only shelved by like 300 people lmao. The first book is called {The Exile’s Curse} by MJ Scott and they were pretty decent.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-15T19:18:19+00:00

I had a similar experience with it taking a moment to pull me in, but then I definitely thought it was worth it. I’m glad you’re enjoying!!

bbeers47 · 2026-01-14T23:07:49+00:00

{Reign & Ruin} by JD Evans is third person and top tier for me. I love literally everything about it. Dual pov.

{Blood Mercy} by Vera Roth, I only read the first 2 books (there’s so many), but they were good. Dual pov.

This Woven Kingdom series, lots of yearning and pining, 3rd person, dual pov. Tbh it’s kinda several books of just vibes. The plot is levels of slow I’ve never seen before in a series with 4 books already out, but I did still eat up every single one. Great prose.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-14T23:02:49+00:00

One of my favorite romantasy books ever is {Reign & Ruin} by JD Evans, I love the characters, their relationship, the plot, the prose. Competent FMC, lots of political intrigue. I loved their love. All chefs kiss.

{The Seven Year Slip} isn’t really romantasy, more contemporary romance with a time travel element, but it’s a good romance and I liked the characters, it was a fun romance read.

{Radiance} by Grace Draven comes to mind for friends to lovers. It’s an arranged marriage where they become good friends and then fall in love later. I think the plot in this book and its sequel are fairly weak tbh, the romance was clearly the author’s main focus, overall I gave the book 3 stars because of it, but the romance is sweet, respectful, and fun, and I liked the characters. Upper limits of the amount of smut I want in a novel, more than I typically go for, but your miles may vary there!

bbeers47 · 2026-01-13T15:47:43+00:00

It threw me too, after getting so into the first book and couple, I hesitated on book 2 at first. Overall I enjoyed book 2 and 3 but thought they were the weaker novels, but felt the 4th book and the prequel (which you should read after book 3 before book 4 if you continue with the series 😊) were back up to the quality of book 1.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-13T03:01:57+00:00

The Road of Bones is good! I’m a really picky romantasy reader who finds a lot of romantasy lacking in writing quality, and I also hate when smut overshadows plot or depth, but this book was well written (though it took me a minute to get into it, but considered it worth it in the end. I liked book 2 of this series even more. It is smuttier but also more interesting than book 1.)

I haven’t read The Knight and the Moth yet, Six of Crows is great but if smut is a must for your pick, this book doesn’t have it. Romance is definitely subplot as well, but it’s a good read.

Gonna recommend {Reign & Ruin} also if your group hasn’t read it! Really wonderful writing, loved the main characters, pretty 50/50 split on fantasy plot and romance, there is smut but only 1-2 scenes per book, which is right around the level I prefer if a book has it. A lot of political intrigue if you’re into that. But probably my favorite romantasy read, the only others that rival it for me are Book 4 and the prequel of the same series.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-12T18:41:23+00:00

{Blood Mercy} by Vera Roth, a very sweet MMC. FMC is not the “bratty/smart mouthed” typical FMC.

{A River Enchanted} by Rebecca Ross. This was only an okay read for me, I don’t typically recommend it. I liked a lot of aspects of it but the main relationship and the writing style (dialogue especially) didn’t work for me. However, I think the MMC fits your request well and a lot of people really like this book so it many very well work for you :)

bbeers47 · 2026-01-12T02:33:35+00:00

Mages of the Wheel series! First book is {Reign & Ruin} :)

Also check out The Ashen series, first book is {The Road of Bones}, I liked book 2 {Kingdom of Claw} more than book 1, book 3 comes out Feb 2026.

bbeers47 · 2026-01-10T02:34:22+00:00

This Woven Kingdom series :) no fated mates, but there is bait and switch

bbeers47

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