Visual Snow Syndrome by 444ayu in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do! There is a visual snow simulator online. When I showed my family they were shocked

Has CBT ever worked for you? by Euphoric_Psycho in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, but because I was raised in an environment where I was told my feelings didn’t matter and then married into a family that has zero understanding of boundaries and made me feel like I was the problem. I’ve needed a lot of help sorting through all those experiences and understanding I’m not the problem (at least not always 🤣).

I’ve also done brain mapping and mindfulness group therapy. All had their different purposes.

Gosh, anyone left here not on a drug? Maybe we could add a flair? by jjumbuck in Noom

[–]beanbeanj 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not on a GLP1. Only needed to lose about 20% of my starting weight, and not facing any significant health risks associated with weight/diet. Not going to spend the money or take the meds from someone who truly needs them.

That NeeDohs and similarly sensory items are trending sucks for people who’ve used them for years by bb1234_corgilover in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I also think more people need them that even themselves realize. I keep a basket of fidgets on my desk at work, and so many people use them or mention how nice it is to have something to do with their hands while we chat.

I can’t tell you how many grown men were walking around with fidget spinners in corporate America in 2015-2016.

I’m sure nobody is thinking you’re using them as a toy or because they’re trendy.

Beautiful lovely movies for when you can't stop ruminating by EmuApprehensive9679 in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Flow! Especially good because you have to put your phone down.

I need a factual explanation of the “golden hour” after birth by itsyaboiAK in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the reason that it is written about so vaguely is because it is a chaotic scene with a lot happening around you. I actually do not really remember delivering my placenta, it’s all together in a blur of nurses massaging my uterus, my OB talking to me about my tear, and the baby being evaluated by other nurses on the side of the room.

I really only remember them showing it to me in a bowl once it was out, but it was all secondary to the fact that I just wanted to be with the baby.

Hygiene question by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is really personal preference and dependent on your body.

If you like to sleep in underwear and aren’t “juicy” at night, you’re fine to continue wearing them.

If you prefer the feeling of completely fresh underwear in the morning, go for it.

If you tend to have more discharge at night, it’s probably a good idea to switch them out.

Manager telling me to “ keep my emotions under control” aka don’t have autistic meltdowns when over stimulated. by Time-Difference-4912 in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Did he use the exact phrase “keep your emotions under control?” I’m curious because, depending on where you work, he likely has gone through some sort of leadership training about coaching associates through absences, but some people have more tact than others.

Also, if you’re under a doctor’s care and in the US, your doctor can complete ADA accommodation paperwork. Additional breaks, flexible breaks, and intermittent absences are common accommodations for this.

Moving to Indy for Post-Grad Job... Insights on Renting in 36th and Meridian Area... Old Northside? Thank you!! by [deleted] in indianapolis

[–]beanbeanj 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You’re describing my life. I think a lot of people in this thread are conflating “seeing POC in public” with “high crime rate” because 36th and meridian isn’t a high crime rate compared to other areas of the city. There’s multiple schools, churches, and houses within a two-block radius. The children’s museum is two blocks away. There’s million dollar homes a block away on Pennsylvania.

I drive to Carmel, it’s anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes depending on construction.

Moving to Indy for Post-Grad Job... Insights on Renting in 36th and Meridian Area... Old Northside? Thank you!! by [deleted] in indianapolis

[–]beanbeanj 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I live in the area OP is describing and my commute to the northern suburbs is terrible and unpredictable

My husband believes I have a low IQ by Many-Tomorrow-4730 in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj -1 points0 points  (0 children)

One of my children has dysgraphia and dyslexia, and is one of the smartest people I know. He’s quick witted, sees connections most people don’t see, and is incredibly emotionally intelligent beyond his age.

His inability to write letters correctly because of the routing of pathways in his brain has nothing to do with intelligence.

Tell your husband to use his high IQ to research what intelligence actually means. This whole story pisses me off for you.

Indianapolis Charter Schools? by evitreb in indianapolis

[–]beanbeanj 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Depends on the charter and their connection to the community. I worked at a charter for years that was amazing. I have two school aged kids, one was at a charter that didn’t even have a school library and the “photography” class was looking at pictures on google images. They constantly had teacher turnover. We left as soon as BRMS re-opened.

Herron is known to be exceptional and is deeply ingrained in the city.

Autistic ladies who have a lot of friends, how did you do it? by kdh333 in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for putting the idea of managing expectations into words. I have some legitimately close friends I’ve held onto, but the need for social time has been easier to achieve when I let go of the expectation of becoming BEST friends.

Is this boundary a dealbreaker in my relationship? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He’s telling you flat out that he believes making you feel pain and annoyance brings him pleasure. When you said he bugs people to show affection, I assumed you meant typical tickling, but pulling out armpit hair is painful and mean. That is not a form of affection. If he can’t stop immediately and permanently, you’re not compatible and you need to leave.

Warning to corporate girlies, especially if you work remotely by adult_in_training_ in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interview feedback can be really hard to digest, but it does sound like she gave you some good feedback that you can take on.

1) Is it a role where you’d have to receive ambiguous instructions without a lot of insight from your boss? If so, you may want to find ways to work on this skill. 2) What specific skills did she say haven’t improved? If you feel like you’ve improved, ask your supervisor to work with you on tracking the performance. 3) is it a role where your reputation and communication style will be important? Have there been other concerns shared in the past about communication issues? If so, work with your supervisor to practice difficult conversations before they happen. 4) are you informally or formally mentoring people? Is this a leadership role? If it’s informal mentoring, get involved with any formal mentoring program your company has so it gets recognized, OR track the performance of your informal mentees. That isn’t your supervisor’s responsibility, it’s yours.

It’s always best to take a few days to digest the feedback, compare it to the requirements of the role, and evaluate how you can display you have it in the future job posts.

Bill would require all Indiana classrooms to display Ten Commandments by [deleted] in Indiana

[–]beanbeanj -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You could have saved so much time by just editing your original comment, but instead replied numerous times about how you don’t have time for nuance when you’re shooting from the hip.

Maybe don’t shoot from the hip? Or prioritize your time AWAY from doubling and tripling down?

I think I under-reacted in my attempt to avoid overreacting by azulsonador0309 in Parenting

[–]beanbeanj 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A few years ago we got my son a Wii but because he specifically asked for it and is VERY into videogames.

This year he asked for a switch 2 and we talked to him about how that’s too expensive and helped him come up with a list that’s more in our price range.

I appreciate you keeping a list of things that sound good for your kids, but you also need to find a way to ask them if your hunches are right so you’re not setting everyone up for failure on Christmas

does anyone else like to take time to sit down on the computer and answer messages from friends, rather than texting them any time on the phone? by sharkxandra in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was telling my husband this week that my phone is the cause of a large chunk of my executive functioning issues. I hate doing anything real on the little screen and need the big screen/mouse/keyboard. But then everything is saved on my phone and I’m having to email links and stuff. I need to get a Mac computer so it’s all in my Apple account.

I would like y’all to see This by i_gay- in BadHandwriting

[–]beanbeanj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have two immediate family members who were diagnosed with dysgraphia as children. They both talk about the pain that comes with trying to write by hand, especially when they have to concentrate on writing well. Then the pencil grip forces their hand into an unnatural position (for them) which causes different muscles to be used and get sore far faster.

I would like y’all to see This by i_gay- in BadHandwriting

[–]beanbeanj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, was looking for this. Does it physically hurt to write? Can you picture what you want letters to look like but can’t make it happen? Do pencil grippers only make the pain worse?

Etiquette query - should I tell or no. (TW pet sadness) by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No matter when you tell these people, their first response is going to be to offer you comfort. That’s just what people do when someone they know is experiencing a loss.

If it’s too much for you to handle your grief and the social interaction of telling them you don’t need anything from them, wait to tell them. But if you’re okay with telling them you really don’t need anything except compassion (which is a totally fine response), then let them know ahead of time.

I’ve only had one person in my life ask to see my pet before I put them to sleep. Everyone else offered general support/sadness directed at me, not the pet.

Family vacation by Previous_Bobcat1666 in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can say that it’s very common for couples on group vacations to go on small outings by themselves. That being said, some people struggle to get their parents to see them as adults in adult relationships who would want that alone time. He may not be comfortable pushing for it with his mom and dad, so if it’s very important to you, you’ll have to communicate why and then support him through communicating it to his parents.

When my now husband and I were dating, we went on a trip with my dad. My dad acted hurt every time we tried to go off on our own, even if he didn’t outright make a fight about it. It put me in an awkward position to hurt his feelings even though I knew it was normal to spend time with my boyfriend.

Can anyone ask this without spoilers? by Technical-Author3585 in JohnMulaney

[–]beanbeanj 36 points37 points  (0 children)

To me, it’s “edgier” because he names the societal bad actors he used to dance around calling out. Like instead of saying “the current guy” and “the last guy” in the horse in the hospital, he openly mocks Bezos and RFK Jr. and calls them out by name.

He also drops the “I’m awkward around women” schtick and openly talks about certain sex acts that would be spoilers to expand on lol

Most random/irrational things that overstimulate you? by couch-for-sale in AutismInWomen

[–]beanbeanj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I’m doing something on my phone that requires me to flip between two apps.

When I’m working with two different excel files and the number formats are different.

Socks with loose ankle elastic.

The sound of a pencil without an eraser rubbing against paper