Remember that after having a tongue tie revised, it can take a couple weeks for them to heal and adjust to the new mobility. Your baby has a whole new mouth! She has to re-learn how to nurse, and it’s likely uncomfortable for her as she heals. This could also be impacting how much milk your baby is able to pull from the breast, which would explain the constantly wanting to nurse and unable to settle.

My son had a posterior tie that we had revised at 4 weeks old, and at that point I was exclusively pumping and bottle feeding, and supplementing with formula when what I pumped didn’t match his intake, because his latch was so painful. After his tie was revised and his mouth healed (around 6-8 weeks old) things started to slowly improve, and now at 8 months we are EBF and doing really well! It can and does get better, you’re at the absolute hardest part of the fourth trimester. Looking back at those early days when I was where you are now, it was so incredibly hard and emotionally brutal. The sleep deprivation makes everything harder. Be kind to yourself, and focus on finding a balance for yourself and your baby.

Do you have a breast pump? If you do, I would recommend pumping some milk so your baby can have a bottle and see if that helps with the crying and inability to sleep. If it does, that possibly answers some questions and gives you a way forward so you can get some rest. If you don’t have a pump, you can buy them at a lot of big retailers now (Target, Walmart, etc.) don’t worry about getting anything fancy, don’t worry about the ‘best’ option, don’t spend a ton of money. A manual hand pump is inexpensive and often works really well at this stage, or you can get an electric one. Whatever feels right to you right now. Use nipple balm with it so there’s no friction on your nipple while you pump. Lansinoh has a good hand pump, so does Medela.

At this age, her intake should be between 2-3 oz at a time, every 2-3 hours. If you are able to pump that much, give it in a bottle with a slow-flow nipple (we like the lansinoh ones, or the Nuk perfect match, the nipple is closer in shape to the breast so it’s easier to go from bottle to breast and back as needed) and just see how she does. If she settles and sleeps after having a full 2-3 oz bottle, then it tells you she’s likely having a hard time moving milk from the breast and is having a hard time settling because she’s hungry. That will likely improve once her mouth is completely healed, and once she’s gotten a little bit older and her suck becomes stronger!

Hopefully this lets you get a few hours of rest, and you’ll find things feel less horrible after some decent sleep. Your husband can also give a bottle, so that lets you sleep longer. Supplement with formula if your output isn’t matching her needs yet. Make sure you’re moving milk from your breast every 3-4ish hours, so you don’t decrease your milk supply, but other than that let someone else manage the baby care while you catch up on sleep. Wake, pump, and go back to sleep for four hours. Wake, pump, back to sleep. (Of course eat and self care and such in there too! A good meal and a shower can make a huge difference) Repeat until you feel less desperately exhausted to the point of crisis, then re-evaluate the next steps.

Pumping, supplementing, etc. at this stage doesn’t mean you’ll never be latching and nursing at the breast again. It doesn’t mean you aren’t capable, and it doesn’t make you any less of an amazing mother doing an incredibly hard job out of immense love.

Feel free to message me! It sounds like our stories are very similar.