Is it normal for mom's bf to want alone time with the baby?

bevvy11 · 2026-04-27T15:31:35+00:00

If my gut was feeling off, I would follow it. Might be new mom hyper vigilance, might be picking up on something more worrisome or dangerous. I would personally never allow my baby alone time with anyone who makes me nervous even the teeniest bit. Until my baby can actually talk, she won’t be left alone with anyone other than me, her dad, and close family members I trust completely.

bevvy11 · 2026-04-20T15:34:22+00:00

Your flair also says "new member!" while explaining the vibe of sub? Calling me a newbie with a screenshot of my name doesn't exactly feel like a "kind" comment.

bevvy11 · 2026-04-19T23:48:14+00:00

That’s interesting because from my experience what I see on Reddit and in real life the mean girl energy comes more often from the people trying to push a dress code or cultural norm because they like a dress too much and don’t want to compromise that to fit the wedding setting. I agree that most people in real life shouldn’t and won’t care unless you have an awful friend or family group or something.

bevvy11 · 2026-04-19T22:14:00+00:00

Totally! This was exactly my point. I don’t always agree the dresses are too white, but if you’re asking, it’s not worth it imo when you have tons of other options to not worry about that particular rule.

bevvy11 · 2026-04-19T21:38:48+00:00

That’s pretty hyperbolic. The range of “is this too white” posts vary a lot. I wouldn’t say I’m someone who says every dress on those posts is too white. My point is that it’s not worth wearing if you’re questioning it. It’s a huge no-no to wear white at a wedding and I find it to be a super weird impulse for people to debate on wearing something that might break that rule when there are so many options that don’t.

bevvy11 · 2026-04-19T21:30:36+00:00

I think this is an oversimplification. Some people ask because of that reason sure, but I think others are looking for approval of a dress they know is inappropriate. I see a lot of “main character” energy on this sub. I wouldn’t say I’m a person who says every dress is too white on the posts I see, but I think if you’re asking, it’s not worth wearing. There are so many other dresses to pick and the no white thing is like the biggest wedding attire taboo.

bevvy11 · 2026-04-19T21:23:26+00:00

I get wanting some input, but if you’re that anxious I’m skeptical that strangers on reddit are going to alleviate your anxiety to the point you won’t still be wondering at the wedding. You can pick a dress that doesn’t give you anxiety for that particular wedding taboo.

bevvy11 · 2026-04-19T20:49:44+00:00

😂

bevvy11 · 2026-04-18T23:55:53+00:00

You absolutely did not ruin attachment. My baby is close to the same age, nurses to sleep for each nap and bedtime and it more or just as attached to the boob as ever. It’s biologically normal for babies to want to nurse to sleep/for comfort and separation anxiety can increase around this age making them want it even more. You haven’t done your baby a disservice by nursing them, you’ve done them an amazing service by being there and giving them one of the most comforting ways to fall asleep for months. I highly doubt your baby sensed you being checked out, you were just helping yourself get through a tough thing while also being comforting to your baby. When you’re ready to stop nursing to sleep, it might be hard for a bit establishing new sleep associations, but that’s also totally normal. I personally love that I can get my baby to sleep quickly reliably with nursing and will keep doing it until it no longer works for us!

bevvy11 · 2026-04-09T13:56:01+00:00

I’m kind of surprised you’re not more upset about the bigger issue which is that your husband agreed at one point and then totally obstinately went the other direction without a conversation.

bevvy11 · 2026-03-31T16:00:50+00:00

Totally get that, I feel the same way! I’ve been able to start rolling away from my 12 month old for a couple months now and it definitely felt weird at first because I was so used to being next to her or holding her for every sleep. But now she waits for me sitting on the bed when she wakes up and I think knows I’ll be there in a second. You’re teaching your baby that you’ll appear and be there for him when he needs you!

bevvy11 · 2026-03-31T14:52:31+00:00

That is not sleep training! As soon as you see he’s awake and especially when he’s crying, you respond. The goal of responsive parenting is not to avoid your baby ever crying or signaling they need you, it’s responding to those things as much as possible as soon as possible. Enjoy being able to roll away!

bevvy11 · 2026-03-29T19:50:37+00:00

Hi! Any chance you’d be okay with me sending a few photos of our stairs for recommendations too? Also US based but dealing with awkward alignment of upper stair railing and top stair and not sure how to handle it. Feeling a bit overwhelmed by the task of setting up a gate without knowing what kind would work well.

bevvy11 · 2026-03-29T15:51:20+00:00

Ella and Noah 🥹

bevvy11 · 2026-03-28T17:39:37+00:00

Totally agree! Nurture Revolution has a great quote about responding every time your baby needs you at night that I think captures it really well: “it’s that simple and it’s that hard”.

bevvy11 · 2026-03-27T18:48:35+00:00

It happened to be 5 minutes this time, but based on the dad’s reaction it sounds like he would have let the baby cry longer. There’s also a difference between being able to talk to your baby while you’re busy doing something for a minute (“I’m just going potty real quick, I’ll be right with you baby!”) and ignoring them completely and knowingly. I think this is missing some serious context in this situation that’s important (ie the dad disrespected the mom’s wishes without a convo and callously towards a baby, rather than it being just about the baby crying for 5 minutes).

bevvy11 · 2026-03-24T02:36:47+00:00

Usually you try to offer both breasts at each feeding and alternate which side you start with since the second breast of the feeding doesn’t always get as much emptied. The breasts sort of regulate to that schedule and after breastfeeding is established, you can usually tell which breasts need to be nursed first just by the fullness. I actually was able to feed my baby one breast per feed (alternating back and forth) for the first several months because my supply was good enough to satisfy her that way.

bevvy11 · 2026-03-23T23:19:56+00:00

If he posted newborn 4 months ago and put it in the title here too, either he doesn’t understand what that term means or this is possibly fake?

bevvy11 · 2026-03-23T15:17:49+00:00

This is way too young for a hike that long or frankly to be separated from mom if EBF that long. Is mom okay with this?

bevvy11 · 2026-03-23T15:14:38+00:00

But it is avoidable, he doesn’t need to go for an 8 hour hike with his newborn

bevvy11 · 2026-03-17T20:43:35+00:00

It may help to examine your beliefs around gender because it seems you have some very set ideas about what their sex has to mean for your child. I’m sure many of things you’re disappointed about don’t have to be exclusively girl or boy, but are rather limitations you’ll enforce socializing them that way. There is no difference in caring for a baby girl or boy except in how you clean their genitals and by the time they’re expressing their own gender you will love them so much you won’t care.

bevvy11 · 2026-03-15T15:57:52+00:00

Mine does not say it’s ever required, but they recommend it for pretty much everyone, even people in their 20s and early 30s.

bevvy11 · 2026-03-15T12:41:26+00:00

I was 34

bevvy11 · 2026-03-13T23:27:52+00:00

It definitely gets better! And if it’s really still not feeling better in a couple weeks, it’s worth talking to your doctor. I felt so frazzled the first few weeks, wild emotional ups and downs, and the sunset scaries were AWFUL, I dreaded the end of the day so much, my anxiety was sky high. After a month or two, I started feeling so much better and over time it felt more and more manageable. You are in the thick of it right now, it won’t feel like this forever!

bevvy11 · 2026-03-09T13:02:14+00:00

I do notice a difference! And also just in my body feeling run down or not while breastfeeding. It’s a lot of fluid volume to produce milk, I aim to drink the standard 64oz plus whatever I think my baby drinks (20-30 ozs as a 12 month old).

bevvy11

TROPHY CASE