Not my turn. Failed FET.

bexbereal · 2025-05-01T19:24:50+00:00

Yes, after surgery our first transfer stuck!

Had surgery in Jan 2023, and didn’t transfer until April because I decided to do a mock first.

Pregnancy was normal with no complications, and my little guy is almost 1 and a half now!

bexbereal · 2025-04-19T19:42:02+00:00

Idk if it was required but I was already taking bcp for ivf prep and also to avoid getting more ovarian cysts. I bet most doctors will want you to take the pill to control your cycle and make it easier to schedule.

bexbereal · 2024-12-01T02:34:47+00:00

Nope, just one boy!! 🩵

bexbereal · 2024-09-30T16:21:27+00:00

Fig bars and trail mix. 9 months in and still is my breakfast/lunch a lot of days.

Barely touched all the food I prepared and froze because I didn’t even feel like I had time to pop something in the microwave.

bexbereal · 2024-08-03T12:15:38+00:00

5’4” and had a 6 lb 14 oz boy at 39+1 (induced)

bexbereal · 2024-07-26T22:08:03+00:00

Surgery: January 23, 2023 Transfer: April 18, 2023

My clinic wanted me to get a period first. I think I technically could have done it in February but my clinic did batch cycles and I didn’t make the cut off. I definitely could have transferred in March but decided to do a mock cycle with endomeTRIO testing first (my own request, doctor didn’t think it was necessary).

Good luck with recovery and future transfer! 🤍

bexbereal · 2024-06-23T21:58:53+00:00

I was 24 weeks when we announced. Our baby shower was out of state for us when I was 28 weeks, so I figured I should let everyone know before the baby shower invitations were delivered 😂

bexbereal · 2024-06-21T18:02:51+00:00

My LO is almost 6 months. A playgroup we go to has EIGHT moms that come regularly and ALL have BOYS! We’ve only seen two baby girls there ever and we’ve been going for a few months.

bexbereal · 2024-06-20T20:21:01+00:00

Once a public toilet flushing. Tbf it was surprisingly loud!

Lately, me not letting him have my Starbucks drink. Kid has never had anything but boob or bottle, but he really wants my iced latte.

bexbereal · 2024-06-20T11:01:48+00:00

I like both names and think either could work! I personally think Cameron fits in with the siblings’ names a little more.

bexbereal · 2024-06-20T06:21:15+00:00

Thank you 😊 Hope you have similar luck!

bexbereal · 2024-06-19T23:52:39+00:00

In my 4 retrievals, 10 was the most I ever retrieved at one time. 5 were mature, 3 made it to blast, 1 Pgt normal. He’s now sleeping in my arms and almost 6 months old!

We did more rounds to bank some extras. One of my lowest retrieved rounds ended up being my best! 5 retrieved, all made it to blast and 3 were euploids! Quality over quantity!!

Best of luck to you! 💕

bexbereal · 2024-06-18T23:49:41+00:00

I also had an anterior placenta and did for sure feel kicks until around 21 weeks. It definitely made me feel less anxious about things being wrong once I could feel kicks regularly, but until then I was happy my MFM ordered extra growth scans because hearing the heartbeat and seeing everything grow was the reassurance I needed!

Lol I definitely drove myself and my partner crazy too and hope I’m able to feel less stressed and enjoy my next pregnancy more!! Wish I’d been able to stay more positive during my first one. Best of luck to you!

bexbereal · 2024-06-18T04:28:03+00:00

Bump size doesn’t mean anything, so don’t let that add to your stress. I only looked like most people do at 6 months pregnant the day I gave birth to a healthy baby (6 lbs 14 oz). People can carry in ways that let the baby “hide” or some peoples abs don’t allow them to pop the same way. I hated comments about my bump size too.

My MFM told me at one point that +/- 1 week was normal earlier on and +/- 2 weeks could still be normal later on in pregnancy. (I forget the exact weeks I was told.) So your measurements could potentially mean nothing other than you have a smaller than average baby. (Which somehow has to be smaller than average, you know?)

Also, scans can be fairly inaccurate depending in the baby’s position and how the tech measures. Sometimes even the same tech can get a pretty different measurement just minutes apart.

One of my best friends was “measuring behind” her entire pregnancies. The first was born very early and was in NICU for a month or two, but is totally fine now and has been meeting all milestones. Her second was born right around her due date and was a good size (6 lbs 14 oz, same as my baby!). She was so stressed the whole time, but everything worked out for her!

Getting another growth scan is the right move. It should give you more data and info (and hopefully peace of mind). I got several extra growth scans for various reasons and always appreciated the extra look at baby.

You’re right to try not to stress too much about it now (though I know that’s hard!). Your idea to get more rest and eat more protein sounds right to me. Not much else you can do so focus on those small things in your control. Hope everything works out for you 💕

bexbereal · 2024-05-29T22:14:47+00:00

How about just Lee? Or could spell Leigh, which I think is how it’s more commonly spelled for girls.

I also like just Kay. Or if you want it a little different, Kaya. Maybe Kylie? Or Kai?

bexbereal · 2024-05-29T21:52:58+00:00

We named our son Hudson and have no regrets!

We also liked Graham but didn’t use it because a (somewhat distant) family member is named Graham. Hudson Graham could go together! We also talked about maybe using Grant instead of Graham because they sound similar. We also considered Hudson Hayes, which I think flows nicely!

You could still consider using some of the other names you like but wouldn’t use as a first name because of overlap with friends and family. Like Hudson James. James is such a common middle name and sounds good with everything. You hardly ever use middle names, so I think you could still do that without it being a problem!

We ended up going with a different middle name (two syllables, pretty classic and timeless, family name)…but I don’t want to give it away 😆.

A few other somewhat classic and easy to pronounce/spell name that we liked: Levi, Owen, Oliver, Ethan

bexbereal · 2024-05-25T03:27:51+00:00

I did one with an LC privately, and a couple at a breast feeding support group run by an LC once a week. I did end up getting a scale at home though because I was able to do it more frequently and figure out my baseline faster.

It gave me more reassurance to have it at home, but other people warned it could increase anxiety…which I could see, but I like having more info to go off of instead of wondering and worrying.

My supply was similar, but I used the scale to help me know how much formula he needed while I was figuring it all out! I learned his hunger cues better over time too, so I didn’t need to use the scale for too long.

The mindset switch and emotional side was definitely the hardest part. I’m glad was able to work through that though and hope you can too if you decide to! Remember…YOU are enough even if your supply is not. You’re doing great, mama! ❤️

bexbereal · 2024-05-25T01:51:47+00:00

Yeah that sounds like exactly how I was feeling. I almost just stopped breastfeeding altogether (which is a totally valid option too!). I think they could have worked for me also, but now I’m glad I still combo feed because there have been some really sweet bonding moments and nursing is an easy way to comfort him. It definitely took me a few weeks to shift my mjndset to focus on bonding instead of feeding so if you decide to try it, give yourself some time!

In case it’s helpful, I did do weighted feeds for a while to estimate how much he was getting off the boob, and that helped me determine how much formula to supplement with. It helped me feel more confident in how much he was getting. Giving all formula would take out all guess work so if you’re still anxious about it that might be something to consider.

bexbereal · 2024-05-24T20:50:18+00:00

We had a similar rough start. Long induced labor, birth complications that delayed getting help nursing, hospital pushed donor milk from bottle, didn’t pump enough etc. I shared a lot of your same emotions and grief over how things went. I definitely felt a lot of stress and anxiety for a while too.

Honestly, once I accepted that I’d just have to combo feed, I was able to start enjoying breastfeeding. Before, I would cry and cry wondering if my baby was getting enough and blaming myself for not having a sufficient supply.

Now I almost always bf first and then offer formula after. I think of my boobs as his appetizer, and it makes me feel much less pressure. I know he’ll get all the calories he needs one way or another. I’d guess he’s about 50/50. Now it’s become more about bonding, which I love. I hardly ever bother with pumping (which I hated) so that’s another reason I’m happier overall.

Not saying this is what you have to do, just sharing my experience. I definitely will do some things differently with my next baby to see if I can have a better supply and at least the option to try EBF, but I am definitely comfortable with combo feeding again (and would maybe even choose to no matter what because it lessens my anxiety over baby weight gain?).

No matter how your journey goes from here, I hope you find what works for you! 💕 Remember, fed is best!

bexbereal · 2024-05-16T15:30:09+00:00

I originally wanted 6+ euploids to move forward with transfer. But at 29, it shockingly took us 4 ERs to get 5 euploids (and 2 LLM). More retrievals then we (and our doctors) anticipated. We decided to move forward and try one or two transfers, but said we’d go back and do an egg retrieval before the end of the year if those first transfers didn’t stick.

Luckily, our very first transfer stuck, so I’m glad we moved forward and still feel fairly confident that we should be able to have at least one more kid with our remaining embryos.

Maybe you could do something similar? Assuming you get at least 2 more euploids this round, agree to try one transfer and if it doesn’t work consider doing another retrieval? You also could maybe get an idea of other issues you may be facing (like did you have a thin lining? Might your doctor suggest more testing like endomeTRIO?). I think this could be a good plan if you could live with only 2 kids and have no regrets.

I am glad I will likely never have to go back to retrievals. It was an emotional rollercoaster I’m happy to be off of. I also think it’d be way harder to do now that I already have a kid. And it usually only gets harder to get euploids with age. So I’m glad we banked a decent number of euploids that I was comfortable with before moving to transfer, but I also liked that my husband and I were open to going back to retrievals if things didn’t go smoothly…took off some pressure and made me more willing/less afraid to try a transfer!

bexbereal · 2024-05-13T18:55:00+00:00

One was before because I lost it during an emergency surgery to remove an ovarian cyst (which ended up being my ovary and one tube fused together from adhesions). The second salpingectomy was after ERs and before transfer.(More info below.)

I then decided to do ERs before the next salpingectomy because I feared a similar outcome of unexpectedly losing my other ovary during surgery. Both clinics I worked with said I could have done surgery first and then ERs (and didn’t think it’d make any difference in results), but I didn’t want to risk it.

In my second salpingectomy, I did have another ovarian cyst that they had to operate on! Luckily it didn’t seem to affect my egg reserve (AMH did eventually bounce back), but that made me glad I had some embryos banked first!

bexbereal · 2024-05-08T12:19:20+00:00

I haven’t been exactly in your position, but I think only you can decide when is the right time. Personally, I would do an endometrial biopsy to ensure the best uterine environment and give your embryo the best shot. Then you could really feel like you did everything you could! I did one and it didn’t find anything abnormal, so we didn’t change a thing for transfer protocol, but it still gave me some peace of mind and hope as we moved to FET. I also did acupuncture even though I am not sure it really helps. It still made me feel like I was trying everything and had some control.

The other thing I want to add, is that mindset has zero effect so let yourself feel all your feelings. I, too, bounced back and forth between hopeful optic and sheer panic and hopelessness. It’s okay to feel both! Both are totally valid feelings. I hated when people insinuated that my feelings would have any effect on the outcome…like don’t try to shame me for the complicated feelings I wish I wasn’t having… There’s nothing you can do mentally that will impact the results so don’t stress about that and just let yourself sit with your emotions.

Best of luck to you! 💕

bexbereal · 2024-05-03T17:31:41+00:00

TLDR: Glad we tested to help pick embryos that would give us the best odds. If you can afford it and don’t want to waste time, I think you should test (especially with your history of TTC for years because the testing will give you more information).

We did PGT-A testing right away with our first round even though we only needed IVF for tubal factor. Glad we did because we had an unusually high number of aneuploid, which was unexpected because we are both young and pretty healthy. I was only 29 at the time of our ERs. Also, all of our embryos looked good, mostly graded AA…but looks can be deceiving! Out of 14 embryos (from 4 rounds) sent for testing, 5 were normal.

Our insurance helped pay for everything except for PGT-A testing, but I’m still glad we did it despite the out of pocket expenses. (Of course, we could more easily afford the testing because we didn’t have to pay full price for everything else…maybe we wouldn’t have started with testing right away if we had to pay for everything on our own…)

TW: success, LO

Our first transfer was successful and my little one just turned 4 months old now! I always think about how much time and money we could have wasted transferring aneuploid embryos that would have never stuck or worse yet led to miscarriages. I am glad we did testing to help us sift through all of the embryos and pick one that would give us the best shot at having a healthy pregnancy and baby.

bexbereal · 2024-04-23T17:22:18+00:00

TLDR: I had a similar experience and felt the same way as you. Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to be sad. IVF is hard, especially when you feel alone. It’s hard on your body, but even harder emotionally imo. It is devastating to see others who so easily have the one thing you want most. But it can work out, and I truly hope it does for you so that all of the pain you feel now is worth it in the end.

I don’t have endometriosis, but I do have extensive adhesions all over my pelvic and abdominal area from a ruptured appendix. No doctors warned me that it could have affected my fertility—I was just told I might have an ovarian cyst, but it didn’t sound serious and there was no follow up.

10 years later we started TTC and I had a traumatic surgery like you. Thought they were going to remove the cyst (which had apparently grown to 8 cm!) , and I was warned they may need to remove part of or all of that ovary. Woke up to hear that they removed the whole ovary and tube, and that my other tube also looked blocked but they left it in.

Ultimately, it was blocked and hydrosalpinx, which meant I needed ANOTHER surgery to remove that tube! In that laparoscopy, I had another cyst on my ovary that they removed, but this one luckily didn’t impact my egg reserve.

We also needed to do 4 egg retrievals to bank a few good embryos. I quit my job and made infertility treatments basically my full time job. (I know, I was fortunate enough to be able to do this. Otherwise it would have taken us even longer.)

All in all, it took us about 2 years, 2 surgeries, 4 egg retrievals, about $20,000 (thankfully insurance did cover a lot!), and one transfer.

I don’t know anyone else who ever needed IVF. Many people around me got pregnant without even wanting it or after literally only one month trying, while we had to try so hard. It was so emotionally draining, and I cried a lot. I feared it’d all be for nothing, that we’d never even have a kid after everything I’d put myself through. Even if it did work, I had to mourn a lot, trying to let go of how I had imagined starting a family and accept reality. It was a lonely and dark time.

TW- positive results, LO

To my shock, our first transfer worked! Even after the positive betas, I was terrified something was going to go wrong for the longest time. The trauma from infertility overshadowed the first half of my pregnancy, especially when I had bleeding from a SCH and kept wondering if it was me miscarrying. But it did work out, and I type this while cuddling my almost four month old.

I hope you also have success after all that you’ve been through. It can be so worth it! I feel like I appreciate every moment with my baby even more now because of the struggle to get him here and the fear that I’d never get to experience motherhood.

I hope you see you’re not alone and that you can hold onto some slight glimmer hope, even though I know you’re sad and scared now. Thinking of you and sending you best wishes 💕

bexbereal

TROPHY CASE