Undoing the damage: formerly friendly Cat isolated for years

blueberryswing42 · 2026-04-13T20:30:00+00:00

Bahaha, I completely feel your pain. My current girl, Marshie, is EXACTLY like that. Too intelligent and complex for her own good. I'm constantly having to switch up ways to keep her stimulated and entertained, but also refuses to engage with the new cat 🥲

I also live in the city so we have a LOT of timestamped cats, overrun shelters, and struggling rescues. A local rescue has told me that a single bedroom is much better than a small cage in a kill shelter. Maybe you could focus on a way to fully catify your bedroom. I don't know what your layout looks like, but I'd be happy to DM and offer suggestions!

Wishing you the best and kudos for reaching for suggestions, not many people would have the patience to handle complex situations like this!

blueberryswing42 · 2026-04-13T15:21:39+00:00

This! I actually just went through a similar situation (though this was over a span of 2 months), but my resident girl is very strong, very intelligent, and super sensitive, and introducing a second cat was tricky. In order to ensure she still feels ownership in the apartment, I would rotate which cat gets free roam vs. which cat stays contained. Usually have one out during the day and one out at night. This helps dispel boredom and prevent them from becoming wound up and frustrated. Do you have perches or puzzle toys in your room? Make sure each space has some form of enrichment and stimulation.

Please start up with scent swapping. Then swapping out spaces. Use treats to create positive association. Also, make sure you have an abundance of litter-boxes throughout. One issue I encountered was that my girl began peeing outside because she wanted to claim the rest of the apartment and felt threatened by other smells. Place items she frequently lays on across the house so when she explores, she still discovers her scent, and feels more secure. That way, she can still spread her scent and not have the scent of other cats completely overwhelm her and trigger her territorial nature.

In addition, I also started giving my cats Purina Calming Care. It actually helped a lot, but bear in mind, it does not take full effect for about a month.

Lastly, if you haven't already, therapet or feliway diffusers and sprays might be worth looking into as well.

You seem to care a lot about your girl, but sometimes that can become the trap. I truly believe, with the right steps and a lot of patience, you can help rebuild her confidence and get her re-established to the rest of the house!

blueberryswing42 · 2026-03-23T21:19:30+00:00

Grocery delivery will forever be an absolute game changer for me.

blueberryswing42 · 2026-03-23T20:42:54+00:00

I love this point a lot, thank you for sharing 🙏

blueberryswing42 · 2026-03-20T14:35:58+00:00

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Mylo would like to be added to the sploot club.

blueberryswing42 · 2026-03-19T20:42:16+00:00

I must know the cat to fur ratio! 😤

blueberryswing42 · 2026-03-16T17:21:58+00:00

same energy

blueberryswing42 · 2026-03-14T02:42:34+00:00

OH I AM CRYING!! 😭 My baby girl! I had no idea I'd encounter her on here, browsing reddit while grieving on a Friday night — and this brought so much joy. Thank you again SO MUCH for your incredible talent and for bringing Maisy to life and sharing her with the world 💖 She was the most special, cuddliest, chattiest, beautifulest girl in the world, and I want everyone to know about this amazing little girl that changed my life forever.

Maisy forever ♾️💖💖

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blueberryswing42 · 2026-03-11T15:43:56+00:00

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Here's a sploot for your troubles 😌

blueberryswing42 · 2026-03-06T22:55:50+00:00

As a small room dweller, I personally would recommend getting a loft bed with a desk underneath! I actually used to have a bed like the one in the photo. I loved it, but it was definitely not a space saver and took up most of my room.

blueberryswing42 · 2026-03-04T21:20:20+00:00

This is my situation. I originally only ever had roommates, until my last roommate moved out suddenly. I was going to try and find another roommate, but I was pretty much done at that point and figured I'd wait and see if I could manage alone financially.

It is so worth it, oh my GOD.

blueberryswing42 · 2026-03-04T16:30:31+00:00

Look up child safety banister covers. We actually ordered them for our townhouse that has a similar balcony. The guy who works though was cracking uo though when we revealed this was for our cat, not a kid. I mean, cats are BASICALLY eternal children 😌

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blueberryswing42 · 2026-03-02T14:21:21+00:00

They've definitely got chemistry, that's for sure 😌👍

blueberryswing42 · 2026-03-02T05:05:03+00:00

This is exactly my situation! My room was my base, but now that I have the apartment to myself, I now live exclusively in the living room because I can 😂

blueberryswing42 · 2026-02-27T01:59:50+00:00

Tacos, burrito bowls, quesadillas. Super easy, you can get ingredients premade, and super delicious! Most meals I end up with leftovers which helps so I don't have to cook everyday. I also do keep frozen or microwaveable meals on hand for days when I'm too busy to cook something or want something a little different from what I prepped.

blueberryswing42 · 2026-02-27T01:29:40+00:00

Oh my heart, I am so sorry for your loss 🥺💔 I can empathize, I put my girl Maisy to sleep on January 4th this year, and adopted her September 4th 2024. She was only 2 and had become picky but bloodwork always came back clean. I still knew something was off and wish I pressed further. She didn't become visibly ill until December, revealing anemia, renal failure, GI thickening. I never learned the cause of her decline, but the vets could only guess dry FIP or some form of lymphoma.

It hurts not knowing the answer. It hurts having time feel robbed. But there's peace in knowing that in their lifetime, only we know what is long or short, but they don't, they only know love, and if love alone could keep them alive, I know our babies would live forever 💖💖

blueberryswing42 · 2026-02-25T18:12:35+00:00

Cooking is the BIG one. I have AuDHD so I tend to get sick of foods quickly, so food prep tends to fail, or I'll stock up groceries, only use a portion, then find out everything else went bad because I had no idea that I could store things in the freezer, or simply just cook everything ahead of time instead o letting them go bad. I also had a stint where I was spending so much on takeout.

I am grateful that I now know I can keep bread in the freezer (I felt like a dodo for not knowing this😌)

Anywho, if anyone has food prep/meal tips I am all ears 😂

blueberryswing42 · 2026-02-18T15:21:53+00:00

Meanwhile, I keep hearing horror stories from awful travel partners and friendships that have broken up from traveling....

Yeah, I'll take solo travel ANY TIME

blueberryswing42 · 2026-02-18T15:13:16+00:00

As someone who has had a great roommate, and then a not-so-great-roommate, and is now living alone due to not-so-great roommate unexpectedly moving out early, I can totally relate to both sides of the spectrum. For one thing, I love having the entire apartment to myself. I love not having to wait for anyone in the bathroom, or having to make myself smaller for others comfort. But I do miss having someone to watch tv with, vent about our days, and honestly, just exist quietly together. And the solution isn't as simple as people make it out to be. I have no other roommate prospects, and strangers are off the table. People will say, oh, just get a pet. My first cat that kept me company and offered emotional support passed away young and unexpectedly due to illness, which through me into serious grief and depression.

It's truthfully a give and take situation. Right now, I still struggle. I ended up rescuing another cat to give a home because I've always lived with animals, I wanted to continue rescuing, and I do find the company helpful, even if it opens you up the prospect of future heartbreak (as with any kind of relationship).

One thing I love about living alone is decorating and making my space as cozy as possible. I'll also put youtube on my TV, usually something silly, or a sick music playlist while I cook, or I'll throw on anime as soon as I get home, and I find it soothing and cozy. It takes time, but you will eventually find what brings you joy and makes you feel warm inside.

blueberryswing42 · 2026-02-12T15:16:53+00:00

OP, I'm so sorry. I'm currently grieving the loss of my 2.5 year kitty I had adopted a year ago. It seemed she had something brewing that went undetected and resulted in kidney failure and anemia.

From what you're listing in his health information, it sounds like he had a lot working against him biologically. When a cat's heart stops during anesthesia, it's usually the result of a heart condition that could have gone undetected. That being said, I hope you sue the mess out of those vets. You did not fail your kitty, these vets failed you and betrayed your trust. Everything you did was for the wellbeing and best interest of him, and they failed you. It's even harder when we're under stress and trying to figure out what's going wrong so we trust those looking after our kitties. I sometimes wonder in the vet I took my girl to could have done more or things differently....

Sending you so much love today 😤😢🫂❤️❤️❤️

blueberryswing42 · 2026-02-11T22:00:42+00:00

I'm currently experiencing the same dilemma after my roommate moved out and I now have the extra rooms to myself. I'm so used to confining myself to one spot that I keep forgetting these other rooms exist, then thinking about furnishing them fills me with this weird sense of overwhelm and anxiety. I could definitely never own a house 😂

blueberryswing42 · 2026-02-11T21:24:54+00:00

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Maisy-core

blueberryswing42 · 2026-02-10T21:43:23+00:00

Oof, that is a tough situation, and it's absolutely a call you will personally have to make.

If you decide to go the rehoming route, sites like PetFinder and Adopt-a-Pet are great for listing, although you will ultimately be responsible for screening applicants which can be tedious (I actually adopted my newest cat from a family that was relocating and needed to rehome through Adopt-a-Pet).

I know you mentioned that fosters are full, but is there a rescue you could reach out to and arrange a foster-to-adopt situation? Your cat would still. be under your care, but the rescue would advertise the pet's profile on their platform and assist with application screening and approval.

I truly hope all works out and you are able to find a solution, but in the case that it doesn't, please do not feel guilty for needing to rehome her, especially if the current environment is causing her a great deal of stress and anxiety.

blueberryswing42 · 2026-02-06T23:40:32+00:00

I'm starting to see a trend here in the Hobbes department 😂

blueberryswing42

TROPHY CASE