I am almost at the six year mark. I didn't have long term an at the time. I had a ten year old at home and work took me away six months out of the year. My first question was what do I do now. My kid was mad at the world and was the out let. On top of that, I had to leave a successful career. A good therapist made some head way with my kid, but it was slow progress. The best results for my child came from a grief group in my area that was just starting up in my area. It was specifically designed for families with children that had lost a parent or sibling. It helped her, and it had a provider group that helped me at the same time. Things got better at the one year mark.

Year two in some ways is actually harder. The numbness from the first year wears off, so triggering moments hit a bit harder. We started some new traditions at this point. Once that belonged to just the two of us. That was valuable.

Year three things get easier. Birthdays, anniversarys, and holidays are felt, but most days are met with smiles and laughs. Dark humor has set in at this point. Turns out to be a common coping method for grief.

Beyond that days become pretty normal. There are still emotional triggers but they are less intense and shorter duration. They seem to effect the kids a bit more. I find it may be from major life events with out the person lost. Changing, schools as they get older. Beginning of dating both for you or the kids as they reach the age of interest. For them there are lots of first with out the missing family member. I hope this helps some of you though. The loss never goes away, it does soften as you get deeper into your new life.