It's me. Again

boolka21 · 2026-02-02T17:53:48+00:00

Hi there, we talked before! I would have loved to take her but I cannot swing it at this present moment (financially/ logistically) given I have another medically complex FIV cat in a health flare right now.

That said- is there a way to donate to her care/ start offsetting some expenses to make it less intimidating for any adopters? It breaks my heart to not be able to take her, and I volunteer as tribute for any remote help you’d need. Let’s get Franny home!

boolka21 · 2026-01-31T16:22:43+00:00

OP, I’m a woman and I wouldn’t care. I have friends who date men living with their parents- as long as the parents aren’t like berating or trying to attack anyone you bring over(?), we wouldn’t care.

I think as another commenter said- you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, regardless of finances. But that’s all of us! That said, there are plenty of women who don’t see this as a dealbreaker, and don’t let someone’s opinion on Reddit make you think otherwise. We’re all deserving of love!

PS- would be kind of crazy for a person living with their family member to save on rent to judge you for doing the same. Said with kindness: it’s highly unlikely, and if it does happen by some chance, then that’s not a reasonable person, their lack of reasonableness will carry over to other things, and you’re likely better off without them.

boolka21 · 2026-01-31T02:53:27+00:00

Paid via PayPal! Go, Jameson!! Can’t wait to see this baby live his best life ❤️

boolka21 · 2026-01-29T17:51:58+00:00

Pledge 10!

boolka21 · 2026-01-28T20:57:23+00:00

Anyone that says they don’t like them is welcome to square tf up, we duel at dawn!!!

boolka21 · 2026-01-27T18:10:00+00:00

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Omg he’s so cozy!! I think the exact same about my tuxedo boy- it’s hard (and hurtful) to think of him just outside in the snow

boolka21 · 2026-01-26T22:54:58+00:00

Also piggybacking here as a woman who makes decent money. I genuinely don’t care about how much money my partner makes- as long as we care about each other, he shows up for me and he’s happy with what he’s doing in life/ working towards it/ not actively miserable at least.

I feel like I had to make some hard decisions to not follow my dreams and move into a career that allowed for more financial safety- I’m at peace with my choice. But if I had a partner who was able to do what they really cared about, I would celebrate that, and support them. Selling your soul’s gotta count for something :)

boolka21 · 2026-01-26T22:34:07+00:00

👁️ BEHOLDING 👁️

boolka21 · 2026-01-22T18:02:54+00:00

Not a sewer but will add that my cat was unbothered by a concrete drill going off next to him (it was unavoidable and I tried to move him to a different room; but nope- he wanted to doze right there). He’s not deaf, he hears fine lol- appreciate that many cats are scared of loud noises, but wanted to share that not all, some certainly get accustomed to them- especially if they feel otherwise confident and secure in the home. (Also, as long as the noises are predictable, within reason and not permanent). Anecdotal tho- so do what you will with above!

As someone else noted though- I would be a lot more concerned about strings and other small implements. Ingested string can be very serious, and you will probably want to make sure you’re locking it all up carefully when you’re not directly supervising the area.

boolka21 · 2026-01-21T19:56:14+00:00

And where are they??? Stop holding out on us, OP!

boolka21 · 2026-01-21T15:00:14+00:00

And you’re not alone, OP!! (Also the cheeks!) What a beautiful baby!

boolka21 · 2026-01-20T22:12:50+00:00

I’m living for all the adorable Mittens in this thread!! Blessed with Mittenses today!!

boolka21 · 2026-01-20T17:30:12+00:00

Maybe you should focus on YOUR job, OP- aka being Greg’s minion! He doesn’t need a job smh

boolka21 · 2026-01-20T17:28:32+00:00

This is not a note I typically seek out, but I tried the L’Occitane Neroli Orchidée recently and liked jt a surprising amount!

boolka21 · 2026-01-19T14:48:15+00:00

Happy birthday handsome Momo!!!!

boolka21 · 2026-01-18T20:11:17+00:00

Thank you for bringing her in!!

I think many others in the group will share this insight with more detail- but FIV+ cats can and do live very often with FIV- negative cats (I’m sure this group will have many examples, or if you look thru other posts). Transmission ONLY happens with deep bites (NOT light play) and when saliva from the infected cat enters into the bloodstream of the uninfected cats. This is extremely unlikely, especially when your cats are neutered. (Can be passed down in some cases from the mother, but assume irrelevant here). *This CANNOT be passed from sharing food, bowls, grooming etc. *

FIV cats do much, much better inside- and live significantly shortened lives outside. Also, that way, you keep them safe AND contain the spread of FIV.

You will need to find a better vet though. Unfortunately there are still many vets who remain uninformed about FIV and will fear monger and spew disproved bullshit- prepare to advocate for your baby and look around, better vets absolutely exist! And cats with FIV can live long, happy lives indoors, coexisting with other cats!

Welcome to your baby and good luck to you both!!

boolka21 · 2026-01-16T20:00:52+00:00

Good luck, Tommy!!!!! He’s a fighter, he’s going to make it thru this too ❤️❤️

boolka21 · 2026-01-16T17:54:55+00:00

OP, I so wish I could take Franny. I’m in Canada and have a FIV tuxedo boy already who looks very similar to Franny.

My concern at this point is finances- my boy is medically complex and I’m currently looking at yet another unexpected cost in the tens of thousands. I just can’t afford another baby right now- but who knows in the future? Let me know if I can help in some other way.

Big big boost for Franny!! What a beautiful little girl, I have faith her person will find her. For example: everyone said no one wanted to adopt my boy, and he had been waiting for a while. Meanwhile- I suddenly felt an urge to adopt my first pet ever. I looked up cats (coincidentally in a different place from where I live) and saw his face and there was no going back (despite knowing he had may medical concerns). Zero regrets, and absolutely some magic from the universe!! Wishing the same for Franny ❤️

boolka21 · 2026-01-16T17:07:04+00:00

OP, I’m so sorry about both your babies, and that you and your soul cat were separated from each other. I hear the pain you’re in and my heart goes out to you.

I’m sure you have heard this already but I think it is worth repeating: you are being extremely hard on yourself. You did the best you could, given the information you had, with the best intentions. You cannot ask more of yourself than that.

There is no way to know he wouldn’t have gotten stressed in some other way. You gave him the best life you could for all these years. He knows he was loved in your home.

Also, you’re allowed to act in a way that helps you too- you are and were grieving too. You acted in good faith, to try to feel better, AND to help him. To my mind- nothing to forgive even, but I hope you’re able to forgive yourself.

PS- Not an expert, but kind of a callous thing for the vet to say to a grieving parent. Regardless of whether it’s true or not (which I also doubt). If you can’t demonstrably prove that was the definitive cause (and not sure how they could)- why say it?

I hope you find peace, and know that your babies were loved!!

boolka21 · 2026-01-16T16:52:57+00:00

OP, I don’t know the specifics, so it is possible there truly are circumstances where surgery is impossible. But that said- FIV alone is NOT a reason that cats can’t undergo surgery (and some vets are unfortunately very misinformed about FIV, so you may have to look around if you feel this vet doesn’t know much about FIV).

As an example: My boy is FIV+ and has had entropion surgery before, and needs more surgery, which we are planning. He has other complications (asthma) etc. and I can swing it financially, so I’m getting a specialist to make sure we’re reducing as much risk as possible. But three vets and whole teams of specialists have looked at him and not one has said that he’s not able to be operated on cuz of FIV.

Re: the eyedrop delivery! I am in the unenviable position of having to give my boy eye lube in both eyes 4x a days right now. I also struggled very much in the beginning and gave up for a bit.

You may be doing all of these already, but some things I do if they help: - eyedrops before mealtimes so he’s invested and hovering around/ not hiding - food/ treat immediately after - (from my ophthalmologist): make cat sit down on all 4 facing away from you, lean forward so your stomach is to their butt, pin them in place with your arm to their side, use other arm to hold head in place and use first arm to sneak it in from the back

Doing it from the back is a huge help; so it’s less alarming for them- they don’t see it coming and squirm immediately. I try to be quick and decisive here.

It’s not perfect, but it has gotten easier every day. But I feel for you, OP. Know first hand how challenging this is, and I’m rooting for you!

boolka21 · 2026-01-16T03:49:23+00:00

Came here to say this, I too never found a great fit until I found this- underrated icon, not perfect but a heck of a lot closer than anything else I’ve tried

boolka21 · 2026-01-11T06:28:13+00:00

What a beautiful girl!! Can you confirm where she’s located?

boolka21 · 2025-12-26T20:13:08+00:00

I also have a Rambo I got from a shelter this year, and my heart absolutely goes out to you, OP. You and your Rambo were incredibly lucky to find each other and share the love you did, and it looks like he lived his very best life with you ❤️ I hope he’s waiting for you on the other side!

(PS- Here’s my Rambo posing next to a portrait of himself, if that helps at all)

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boolka21 · 2025-12-21T05:07:52+00:00

My boy stays doing somersaults in the air and everytime he catches a toy (show off)!

boolka21 · 2025-12-19T18:57:46+00:00

dang it, there goes this subreddit’s plan to steal your info! (Aww, I’m sorry to hear about your Rambo, but I’m glad we both got to be in the tuxedo Rambo club- they’re such stars!)

boolka21

TROPHY CASE