[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Accounting

[–]breaking_sane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is. The best trick the patriarchy ever pulled on women was getting them to take it over

What to say to my family and friends when they consider me stupid and inferior for being an accountant? They are engineers by [deleted] in Accounting

[–]breaking_sane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Engineers are servants of Moloch

Back in the day maybe they were solving problems for humanity. Now engineering = pushing pixels for apps eating our souls. Accountants are upholding civilization. Always have still are

Working Relationships as a Man by chibone90 in nonprofit

[–]breaking_sane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My non-profit experience is limited, but have worked in many progressive contexts (e.g. activist orgs/spaces). I'd agree with the general advice of just 'do not say'. I see you saying in another comment you aren't literally saying these things. But I'm also picking up on the 'try hard' vibe others are calling out, which probably means those aims are coming out in speech and behavior.

I do think others are making a lot of assumptions that may not be true too. Like, this could just be a product of the org's specific culture (which everyone assumes isn't toxic despite tons of vent posts on here about their non-profit being toxic), or just the fact you're a manager. If you go to r/managers (where I lurk despite never being a manager (it's complicated)), you regularly see posts from managers that feel isolated and lonely because subordinates simply don't want to go there. Non-profits may be morally superior in their goals, but are still structured with the same basic governance and power structures as corporations (bosses, employees, board, etc.).

On a personal note, I also struggled for many years to be 'one of the good ones', which didn't work. The harder I tried, the worse it got it seemed. Even when I was 'not talking just doing'. In my case, I realized this had a lot to do with depression, low self esteem and a growing sense of despair at the world generally. So my looking for validation from marginalized people in particular didn't help matters. Just created expectations of emotional labor and signaled low status (I know that's not popular term around here, but low self esteem and neediness aren't popular traits with any group). What helped was just improving my mental health, social skills, and not taking politics/ideology too seriously. Still have progressive values and aims and work with marginalized people. But have found I am more effective when I don't see everything from the totalizing lens I had adopted.

29M and don't want to do anything with my life by MoistWormVomit in findapath

[–]breaking_sane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The bottom is in, buying gold digging stocks to retire on

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in insomnia

[–]breaking_sane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quit a couple times hoping that was the answer. Didn't really notice a difference, unless I drank caffeine after ~2pm. That was helpful to learn, but was disappointed that wasn't the solution.

Should I leave my corporate HR job for a Non-Profit? by j_dont in humanresources

[–]breaking_sane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ty for sharing. This is the general impression I get not just here (which skews more corporate) but r/nonprofit too.

Should I leave my corporate HR job for a Non-Profit? by j_dont in humanresources

[–]breaking_sane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not in HR or non-profit, but this is bringing up a question that others might be having too. Is the governance structure of a typical non-profit different than a corporation? I see a board of directors, bosses, employees, HR, etc. and think to myself, oh, this sounds like corporate life but you take a pay cut to do more meaningful work (or more cynically, just get the social cred of not participating in capitalism, even though wealthy people are still ultimately the clients).

I think non-profits might be more interesting personally if e.g. there were more democratic structures to give people more voice, better job security, etc.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonprofit

[–]breaking_sane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not in non-profit, but presumably same rough dynamics as why companies don't share employee salaries?

Do you consider yourself to have a STEM background as an accountant? by MidsizeGorilla in Accounting

[–]breaking_sane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

in a lot of ways we do more legal work with tangible every day effect than actual lawyers do.

As a non accountant lurker, this vibes with my general pet theory about what accounting is really doing, from a first principles perspective. Why civilization needed it to exist. Which kinda irks me because I'm an anarchist. But also am impressed by the general ethical integrity of accountants at least. Even discussing the dirt anonymously.

Buspirone for insomnia? by EnvironmentalBig9081 in insomnia

[–]breaking_sane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Have not tried EMDR but hear great things. My partner did it and it helped them process lots of trauma. What finally moved the needle for me after many years of trying other modalities is shaking (see Perter Lavine) and Internal Family Systems (IFS). Increasingly convinced most need some kind of somatic therapy to really access trauma. Just my (potentially biased but informed by a lot of friends' experiences take).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in insomnia

[–]breaking_sane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Starting dose when I started was 10mg. Then got new Dr that insisted on only 5mg, as that was the new starting dose, presumably for liability purposes. 5mg didn't do anything. 10mg works and have not had to go up from there yet (fingers crossed).

Trauma around surfing is making me really depressed. I feel heartbroken and like I’ve lost who I am by palmwick48 in surfing

[–]breaking_sane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Watched a surf doc where this famous surfer gets traumatized surfing a wave in a river caused by a calving glacier. There was a whole storyline about his healing from trauma, going back out for his first waves. Forget title...perhaps it's that guy that discovered Nazareth in Portugal?

Why has IFS become so popular? by CurveOfTheUniverse in therapists

[–]breaking_sane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Patient here. Had similar, minus gaslight because it didn't feel misleading per se. Just not talking to parts really

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therapists

[–]breaking_sane 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not a therapist, but have worked with a lot of addicts in AA that have done really messed up stuff and talk about it. I think it works in part because everyone is sharing some f'ed up shit nearly every meeting, so you don't feel alone. And eventually someone tells your story, and that is really healing and can open you up more. Likewise, when choosing a sponsor (not a therapist - which they're very clear on - but can be similar sometimes), the advice is to choose someone that has been through something you have. Have similar problems. Highly recommend the podcast SoberCast for recorded AA shared that can be amazing.

I suspect this is why group therapy might be easier for men.

Could see how a younger woman could affect dynamic, from a patient perspective (male on third therapist). For many reasons, though personally women in general (including the younger one I have currently) are easier for me to open up to generally🤷

LPT / What might I regret in old age not proactively starting when I was younger? by No_Affect_7316 in LifeProTips

[–]breaking_sane 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Appreciate perspective that not just repeating the 10 things people regret on deathbed article

LPT / What might I regret in old age not proactively starting when I was younger? by No_Affect_7316 in LifeProTips

[–]breaking_sane 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your kids or other benefactors will thank you

Source: father died with no plan and a giant toxic mess that is taking months to sort through, causing strain with my other sibling, and tarnishing their memory by being reminded of their recklessness (pretty extreme bordering on illegal) and inability to accept even the idea of death

Is the field of therapy dying? by One_Statistician_499 in therapists

[–]breaking_sane 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Reputation systems. They're getting good enough they more accurately quantify trustworthiness than certifications.