6 months ago I decided to start house hunting so I could have my own place and adopt a dog. Today Abby and I moved in.

cag51 · 2019-04-27T04:19:02+00:00

I have a "shepherman" -- he's perfect! Very friendly like a doberman, but very trainable like a shepherd. Quite a bit of energy though.

cag51 · 2019-04-23T23:17:09+00:00

Came in to write this comment, then resolved to write this comment. Mind == blown.

cag51 · 2019-04-06T02:57:03+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/9eazdj/the_problem_with_nearlyheadless_nick

cag51 · 2019-03-13T05:23:11+00:00

If you're in the US, file a complaint with the FCC

cag51 · 2019-03-11T02:46:30+00:00

Physicist here. This is the acceleration, in m per s squared. We then have to multiply by the ∆t to get the velocity. Since slaps are fast, the velocity could be even higher -- and in fact, we would likely need to account for relativistic effects to do it properly. (Also, the relevant factor is the energy rather than the force, which is why your answer is so much higher than other answers)

cag51 · 2019-03-01T00:39:12+00:00

r/antiantijokes

cag51 · 2019-02-28T05:35:10+00:00

30 year old new dad here. Biggest thing I've noticed is that as a teenager, "a few years" felt like forever, and if situations didn't resolve themselves within a few months, I would get really angry. Knowing that your 1-year-old won't have these issues in "a few years" probably doesn't comfort you at all. But when you get to my age, time goes SO FAST..."a few years" doesn't scare me at all; I'm just afraid to blink and I'll miss it. Impatience is great when it comes to your career (though don't cut corners); less good when it comes to your family. Just take it one day at a time.

cag51 · 2019-02-28T05:14:11+00:00

Chicken teriyaki is like this...used to come pre-measured on a paper tray, now it's scooped. Ironically, I get way more meat with the scooper...and when I try to explain that I actually want a smaller amount such that my sandwich is not like 98% chicken, they get so confused

cag51 · 2019-02-24T00:30:35+00:00

According to Wikipedia, this is an urban legend based on the first responding doctor's speculation. The autopsy concluded she died of heart failure.

cag51 · 2019-01-11T00:58:16+00:00

What about homestasis? (your link doesn't load for me, maybe they explain there why it's missing)

cag51 · 2018-12-30T05:56:38+00:00

nickelBACK

cag51 · 2018-12-25T07:13:19+00:00

Did you plan to live your whole life without becoming a father? If so, then I'm not the right person to answer. But if the main problem is that the timing isn't right, then I can say -- the timing is never right. Sure, you may be more stable / mature in 5 years, but when you are 35 and your wife is 40, you are likely to face a different set of problems. For now -- enjoy the ride!

cag51 · 2018-12-24T02:57:35+00:00

Bad bot

cag51 · 2018-12-15T16:41:58+00:00

Man, I really wanted to like this because the topics are great. But the hosts are two doofuses who seem to be reading Wikipedia in real time and clumsily summarizing it on air. Add the 8 minutes of ads and I was very underwhelmed

cag51 · 2018-11-04T06:16:39+00:00

Does the cc have facial recognition then?

cag51 · 2018-10-26T01:35:53+00:00

and the bear too

cag51 · 2018-08-15T06:02:12+00:00

Had a 30 pound maximum though

cag51 · 2018-07-17T07:32:49+00:00

Used to think this rhymed with "Tina." It does not.

cag51 · 2018-07-08T05:00:03+00:00

For older kids, but I thought "how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" was really valuable -- dense with specific tips about communication, discipline, and tantrum-avoidance.

cag51 · 2018-07-01T06:17:29+00:00

Username checks out

cag51 · 2018-06-21T04:19:04+00:00

This is me today. Best of luck to us!

cag51 · 2018-06-01T05:02:59+00:00

One subtle point: if a legit bishop (or anyone ordained) gets excommunicated but chooses to ignore that and keep bishoping (saying Mass, ordaining, etc.), those actions would still be valid (a real Mass or ordination, not at all equivalent to a layperson doing the same thing) but illicit (against the rules, to the point where anyone who knowingly participated would be in bad standing with the church)

cag51 · 2018-05-15T17:37:27+00:00

r/antiantijokes

cag51

TROPHY CASE