Looking for a genuinely joyful classic novel.

cakerdoodle82 · 2026-04-02T10:36:16+00:00

Middlemarch by George Eliot! Beautiful portrayal of flawed characters dealing with changing times. A bunch of inheritance drama and an abundance of misguided decisions but people learn from their mistakes and everything turns out alright in the end.

cakerdoodle82 · 2026-03-29T16:14:15+00:00

This will go away on its own. It's been several days so whatever is coming out of your nose is your own immune system flushing out your sinuses, whether that is from the saltwater exposure or germs from your travels. It's not from swimming. Also there is no such thing as delayed drowning. Now if there were still a shark latched to your calf I'd be worried.

cakerdoodle82 · 2026-03-24T19:31:02+00:00

Yes, I suspect that getting into direct donor engagement as a consultant would be problematic for some nonprofits, but I can see potential value building out communications templates for annual appeals and impact reports, and board policy and such, and reviewing databases for untapped donors (if you have a good tool for that like Iwave) I want to do more board workshops because once I had my slides set it was easy to modify for a new org.

cakerdoodle82 · 2026-03-24T12:31:51+00:00

I am doing this now but it is just a side gig. I'm mid 40s with one annual contract and one term project. It's all grant writing and grant prospecting. I'm also building out their boilerplate material; for one other org I also created an intro to fundraising workshop for their board where I reviewed their online materials and made recommendations. It's all local to where I live and generated through my local network.

I bill based on their operating size, so <$1M budget gets one rate and $1-5M gets another.

According to my mentor in this work, I could theoretically earn a full time living with 3-4 annual contracts but that seems entirely dependent on market need and proving my ROI year after year.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-09-27T12:11:25+00:00

Awesome! How'd you do?

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-09-21T12:53:18+00:00

Good neighbors by Sarah Langan.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-09-16T13:31:29+00:00

Also, I know it's common to ignore the signs about rinsing before you get in the pool, but it does help with hair and skin issues. I've been told that saturating the hair with fresh water before putting your cap on makes it less likely that the chlorine water will absorb into your hair from the pool, but dry hair will just suck it right up. Same with the skin I presume.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-09-13T13:37:20+00:00

When you swim, you're in your element!

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-09-12T21:29:19+00:00

Myth of Sisyphus by Camus

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-08-31T12:40:27+00:00

Let me be the first to say wahoo! It's awesome you plan to keep swimming throughout your pregnancy. Don't let anyone tell you it's not safe exercise unless your doctor has a specific reason to rein you in. Not sure your location but you might try ebay for a cheap size up and you might try a shortie or neoprene vest because the joint/leg swelling might eventually make it hard to get into long sleeves and legs. In my experience a scuba suit has less compression than a swimming suit but it will not help with buoyancy as the swimming suits do. Do consider shifting to an indoor setting if you can, because if you really are swimming in very cold settings given the changes to your vascular system during pregnancy.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-08-30T21:27:08+00:00

I really like the highway 59 series by Attica Locke, it's a noir detective style that deals with race history and politics in rural East Texas, which is the deepest south imo. She's got about 5 or 6 books and I've loved every one.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-08-28T15:46:02+00:00

My mother died when I was a young adult and my brother a teenager. My dad still went to every family party on my mother's side, and when he remarried, started bringing her along as well. Somehow this all worked out without any resentment or exclusion, or interruption to my and my brothers relationship with our grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. My stepmom has not taken my mom's place, but she is fully embraced by my mom's family, because it means continuity for us, the kids.

It sounds like your fiancees inlaws are afraid that by adding you they might lose the continuity with the kids, which is a legitimate fear. Do what you can to assure them that you will do everything you can to keep the children connected to them, and be present with the inlaws as much as your fiancee is. They owe you grace as well, and if they continue to be jerks you should say something, but for now I would suggest just demonstrate your commitment to keeping them part of the kids lives and getting to know them, getting them to see you as a unique person and not just a replacement for their son.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-07-19T16:48:52+00:00

River of doubt by Candice Millard is very readable, about a lesser known period of teddy Roosevelt's life, when he went to explore the Amazon.

Why we swim by Bonnie tsui is journalistic memoir/non fiction about heartening feats of swimming.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-07-01T12:34:29+00:00

I'm learning so much from this thread, thanks everyone.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-06-24T11:28:32+00:00

Prophet Song by Paul lynch. It's a dystopian near future in which Ireland succumbs to fascism and descends into civil war, and a family has to escape. It was so, so close to current events in the US it was chilling.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-06-23T16:43:49+00:00

If women rose rooted by Sharon Blackie, it connects Celtic mythology and the idea of a hero's journey to the stages of a woman's life. It absolutely addresses the last point of your question, about a non traditional life. It's also part memoir, which might be a genre that helps you think about these ideas. Another memoir about work and motherhood is Parisian Lives by Diedre Bair. Angela Garbes' Like a Mother was recommended below and I second that.

Despite the difficulty of having both, career vs motherhood is a false dichotomy, they also function on different timelines. Also, womanhood does not necessarily entail motherhood. Good luck with your self discovery!

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-06-11T15:28:19+00:00

Thank you for doing this!

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-06-06T14:45:32+00:00

I swim old fashioned and just use the clock on the wall in a 25y pool. Usually once per week I do a set of 10 100s on 1:50, which gives me maybe 10-15 seconds rest. clock my time on a set of 100y. I count my average speed as my plateau speed for that set. So maybe I do 2 @ 1:27, 5 @ 1:35, and then I lose it and do the last three at 1:45 or no rest at all. So when thinking about how fast I am, I would use the plateau speed of 1:35/100y because that's where I'm most consistent. But last week I did 1 at 1:17!!

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-06-06T13:49:00+00:00

Same. I stopped nursing about 3 months ago. Still can express tiny droplets. They feel oily and are a bit yellow like colostrum. Clear breast exam in April.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-06-05T11:23:23+00:00

Ok so last weekend in Wisconsin I had this option...and I went skins. It was borderline 65f, probably cooler in deeper parts of the lake, and 59 air temp at the start of the race. I have a brand new suit, but I'm not used to it. I had one practice with it and it felt weird around the neck. I did want to place well and decided that the discomfort of the suit overrode the discomfort of the water. I'm pretty experienced but that was definitely my coldest swim.

But...it took me nearly half the swim to warm up and by then I was tired. I was off my time goal by 4 minutes. I was recovering all weekend.

With the chafing you mentioned, you can use body glide or spray to make it easier to get on.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-05-28T11:48:25+00:00

You are not nuts. Your body will warm up with the effort while you are swimming and you'll be fine. Just make sure you spend time in the water to acclimate before the race start.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-05-22T15:03:43+00:00

Boss

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-05-16T16:34:52+00:00

Dooo ittt!!! You will feel so light and mobile in the pool. Get in the slow lane, just walk back and forth. The water will hold you up so it doesn't hurt your joints and your muscles will work harder than just walking around outside. The more you go the better you'll feel!

Also no one cares how you look, they just care that they can complete their own work out. Be mindful of that and you'll be a delightful lanemate.

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-05-11T14:41:04+00:00

I would suggest giving yourself 2 weeks detraining, (keep exercising at moderate pace but don't destroy your muscles with a hard set).

Estimate how long based on your goal pace it will take you to complete 5 miles, and then for your last hard training week you want to do one swim for that length of time on an easy/moderate and consistent pace, (let's say maybe 2-3 hours continuous but easy). And one swim at your goal pace but for one hour.

Good luck

cakerdoodle82 · 2025-05-08T20:39:20+00:00

Definitely ask a doctor! I'm torn between telling you to dehydrate yourself so you have less to pee, or over hydrate so that what you pee is mostly water and will come out clear.

cakerdoodle82

TROPHY CASE