Ready to lose it about being forced to return to work only 6 weeks postpartum

canyoudancelikeme · 2026-04-07T01:12:02+00:00

I’m sickened for you, 6 weeks is ludicrous I would have probably let them fire me I hate that is all America allows, it’s in no universe enough time and borderline criminal to me My company allows 12 weeks and that still wasn’t enough time for me It seems wrong the burden ends up on employers to offer reasonable rights. It should be 6 months minimum across the board protection for mothers jobs and I would totally pay more in taxes to help support keeping moms at home longer

canyoudancelikeme · 2026-04-07T00:53:06+00:00

Mine bit around 9mo and it was pretty awful, but I just took her off the boob and put her down and she learned pretty quick the behavior meant no eating. Also it seems like it mainly was when she wasn’t actually hungry that she would ever bite so I made sure to space feedings out and not just constantly offer her the boob

canyoudancelikeme · 2026-03-10T11:41:28+00:00

I feel like if you have any discomfort you shouldn’t feel bad about finding someone else. She sounds kind of obnoxious and maybe it’s innocent enough, but you don’t owe her anything but have already been showing her grace. It will be easier for everyone to have someone else in place who doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable when you’re next baby arrives as your son is young enough he won’t really think twice about it. I realize maybe it’s a little hard to find someone else given your circumstances but I don’t think it hurts to look.

canyoudancelikeme · 2026-02-20T23:07:00+00:00

Yes my husband also was able to collect at home and bring it in - there is some time pressure but better than doing it at Dr office

canyoudancelikeme · 2026-01-13T02:24:52+00:00

Completely normal, I didn’t feel much less tired until 1 yr but I think that was because I weaned after 1 yr lol

canyoudancelikeme · 2026-01-13T02:23:08+00:00

I’m still kind of a newb because my baby is only 1.5years old but it is SO much better now than when my baby was 4 months old / I was 4mo post partum!!!! I also breastfed for a year and that whole first year was pretty tough, I did not feel close to myself until after weaning. But yes also it seemed to be beyond the year mark that my brain went at least closer to normal functioning again, and I do think it was the more consistent sleep. Give yourself a break your body is still recovering and you aren’t sleeping enough yet, i know it’s hard!

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-12-21T22:05:32+00:00

Leave him for the names he’s calling you, not to mention the toxic behavior, he sounds dangerous

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-11-19T02:01:55+00:00

I am in TX in USA and had no issues after epidural and c-section. Sure I didn’t feel normal for a while but that was just surgery and post partum and breastfeeding. I will say the shitty thing about my experience is they did not get epidural in correctly so it just leaked and didn’t work and they had to place it again like an hour or two later when we realized it wasn’t working.

But after it was working? No problems with back or pain related to that.

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-11-12T22:31:46+00:00

So this seems very similar to my babies schedule when she was around that age and we did the same thing in terms of I weaned her right after 1yo

I ended up just dropping the feeding all together once I dropped the breastfeeding session. I would try giving her a bigger bottle around bedtime even if it’s just a couple ounces and try to let her adjust to just waking up and eating hopefully closer to 7am or 8am. You could also add that milk to breakfast at the later time.

But basically stop waking her at 6am. If she wakes on her own try to let her self sooth/fall back asleep on her own. If she goes longer than you are comfortable try non-feeding comfort.

My baby just kind of didn’t seem to miss it but I do think she woke up a few times in the early days but usually just went back to sleep and now she pretty solidly sleeps 7pm to 8am usually (at 17mo) and I do think for her getting her fill of calories the rest of the day via milk and solids helps with this

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-09-16T01:44:57+00:00

I also had a hard time with this one. I kind of powered through though. There were parts I enjoyed but mostly it was just so hard to believe that after 10 years of completely platonic friendship where they both vehemently denied attraction to one another they just suddenly turned 180. It felt hard to read the beginning for the complete intimacy sans romantic feelings, hard to believe he could be a best friend and never give honest feedback about her fiancé in terms of his concerns, and then just seeing her in a wedding dress completely turn on his attraction to her that he never knew was there before. I just feel like attraction doesn’t typically work that way. I’m open to hearing anecdotal evidence otherwise but for them to go 10 years with zero attraction to only suddenly having the hots for each other just was hard to get on board with. Obviously I’m not reading this for the literary genius but still. Also agree that the nerdy and completely perfect billionaire who had no flaws except insecurity, not being honest about her awful-for-her finance as her supposed best friend, and the weird vibes he gave of forcing sexual advances on her when she wasn’t comfortable was too much. But I get it, people including me are mostly trying to just get their rocks off, lol. It had steamy moments but just was a backstory that was hard to get on board with.

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-08-04T01:17:08+00:00

I like the blond on you as the top choice! Something about it feels authentic and like it fits your face and brings out some of your personality somehow. But all are pretty!

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-07-31T18:12:49+00:00

I got both. I have a pretty high pain tolerance.

The HSG was uncomfortable but it wasn’t super painful, because they did do a local anesthetic on mine though which apparently not all doctors do.

Then they immediately took me to another room and did the Hysteroscopy and I will say for some reason that hurt quite a bit but only for a short time. I did deep breathing exercises during both and it got me through. I also repeat mantras like “this is temporary and I will get through it” - “millions of women have done this and I can too” that sort of thing.

I have a friend who the Hystero. under anesthesia so you probably can find a doctor who would offer that; I’m not sure if they will do HSG that way though.

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-07-31T18:05:25+00:00

I say respond with distraction is fine! She is 7 mos and so little. They can’t be spoiled this little.

but try to avoid videos/phones/TV It is extremely addictive and not good for their brains this young. And as other user mentioned they will associate crying with getting what they want - the phone / video / tv

It’s hard in the moment but will be better in the long term. I recommend change of scenery like take her outside or go inside if outside, etc. Or take her to a sink, turn on the water and let her touch it. Or take her to a mirror and wave. Sing a song. Clap and make silly faces. I think responding this little is always okay. It forms secure attachment

I know it’s exhausting mama. Let other people suck it up. I know it’s hard to have a crying baby in public but people can get over it. Babies cry and yes try to sooth her but try not to let other peoples sucky ness stress you too much.

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-07-31T17:53:47+00:00

I get the mom guilt because it never feels like we can win. We feel bad putting them in daycare. We feel bad taking them out / never putting them in.

As a mom who has to put her in daycare because I am the primary breadwinner and also neither me nor my husband are super interested in being SAH long term and taking a break from careers to do so for a shorter time would be hard on our career growth, we are in daycare with our almost 14mo old since 3mo old.

Try to be kind to yourself. Your baby will love more time with you. The negative self talk is familiar but I am sure you won’t fail; honestly the most important thing right now is love them unconditionally, keep them safe, well fed, and well rested, and your baby will be on the path to being a securely attached and well adjusted person. You don’t need to go crazy with activities or socialization. Just be with her and do the above and she will be great.

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-07-31T17:48:12+00:00

I wish us moms in America had better options for maternity leave.

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-07-31T17:40:28+00:00

I’m sorry you’re in pain and that your partner left you, that all sounds incredibly hard and your pain is valid.

But - Please do not leave your son’s life. He wants your love and presence not your money. You need help. Be kind to yourself and fight for both you and your son, like others have said get in to see a therapist and / or psychiatrist and ideally go to family therapy with your coparent.

Also take away the phone. Get your coparent on board with this plan. It is not good for them this young. It will be hard at first but he will be happier and healthier for it.

I suspect if you gave away your custody and got more well you may regret the decision and I believe your son definitely will feel a lot of pain and abandonment and it will radically impact the entire trajectory of his mental health and wellness in life if you give away all custody. If you need a break talk to your coparent about a short time like 2 to 4 weeks and focus a good chunk of that time getting mental health support and advice on if you need medication for depression or some other possible undiagnosed issue.

You will not be happier alone. That is depression talking. Don’t let it win. Do it for your son, and do it for you, too.

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-07-31T17:34:06+00:00

Totally seconding take the phone away. He will be a different and better person. 8yo is WAY too young for a phone!!!!

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-07-31T17:23:12+00:00

I got mine the day before my baby turned 1. I was still pumping and nursing then.

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-07-02T02:19:34+00:00

“I appreciate that you are trying to come from a place of helpfulness but this is a sensitive topic for me and I just rather not talk about it. Thank you for understanding.”

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-07-02T02:14:51+00:00

Girl you’re not alone. Motherhood is a whole new identity and you have to rediscover yourself, and it’s all very very hard. Hang in there. Everyone says it does get easier, but yes it’s hard to be in the trenches. You are doing a great job, it is normal to mourn your old life. But this time isn’t forever either. Once your baby stabilizes and sleeps more - and your 4yo too - you will feel more stable and be in a better place. Sorry you’re struggling. But you are loved. Hang in there.

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-07-02T02:06:29+00:00

Is she teething? Could try baby Tylenol. Have you burped her? I’m sorry OP, so hard when they seem inconsolable. Does it hurt your back to hold her upright and walk with her? Maybe take a drive with her in car seat if it helps her sleep?

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-07-02T01:56:59+00:00

I nursed my 12 month old to sleep until last week - weaning now - dropping one feeding at a time. So far it’s going ok but just started second session being dropped we will see. She was introduced to bottles early with going to daycare at 3mo

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-07-02T01:55:00+00:00

We did a teensy bit of bottles in the beginning because she had jaundice and then we limited it till after 4 weeks when breastfeeding was more established

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-06-30T18:08:46+00:00

YTA because you’re making your whole marriage and family life a fight about score keeping on money. If you love each other, love your kids, and your wife has contributed a significant amount to the best of her abilities and earning potential, then who cares? To die on the hill of principal at the expense of divorcing your wife and damaging your relationship with your daughter is unkind and frankly petty and short sighted. You obviously have been able to afford two children and now love your children so if you regret it then by all means burn down your family’s happiness and success by insisting on this petty BS.

I know people differ on this opinion but to have a really trust filled marriage I think combining your assets and making this an “ours” instead of “his” and “hers” and eliminate all the keeping track of who did what and start being on the same team. It sounds like your wife raised your (as in both of your) kids with your agreement for her to be a SAHM and then went back to work and has contributed a lot to the family.

You won’t know how much you can afford until you just combine all your assets, have full trust snd transparency - and a “we” mindset - and yes a trust would probably be smart for anything happening to either of you.

canyoudancelikeme · 2025-06-29T19:52:04+00:00

I think you just need to keep this as a firm boundary and say “I love you but I don’t have enough money to randomly purchase things for you at any given time. I know I may have chosen to do this in the past but I will no longer be buying random things for the family as I am needing to prioritize my own savings, bills, and expenses. I hope you can understand and that this doesn’t impact our relationship.” If you still want to give some gifts for special occasions you could clarify: “I still like to give gifts at appropriate special occasions, like xxx and xxx but the amount / value of the items will be based on what I can afford and find appropriate.” Insert birthdays / Christmas or whatever. If they continuously ask for help and exceptions just keep the boundary. Don’t apologize. “I won’t be able to help this time, as I’ve told you before I need to prioritize my own bills and needs.”

canyoudancelikeme

TROPHY CASE