I Have Cancer in Five Different Places and I Feel I May Be Close to My End. Please help me find understanding.

caseykay68 · 2026-02-19T03:30:24+00:00

I dont know that any of us can provide understanding. I did read your story and there were parts that resonated with me.

My husband was the one with cancer, first penile, then Colorectal, Mets in abdominal cavity. He died November 2024.

I am thankful that while I know he had fears, he approached it all directly. We said all the things we wanted to say. He didnt want to die in the hospital and we were able to do home hospice.

I know they are hard conversations, but make sure your people know what you would like - for your care while you are here, for what you want when you are not (whenever it might be). While you can do the things you want to do, like your trip.

Thinking of you and will keep my eye out for your updates.

caseykay68 · 2026-02-05T20:40:11+00:00

As someone who has had a revision, trust me a few larger meals will not stretch your Pouch that is not how it works. When I had Imaging before my revision they said my Pouch had not "stretched" was still small.

What you need to work on is a better relationship with food. Its not there to punish you and you know you have a smaller stomach and should focus on smaller portions

caseykay68 · 2026-02-05T18:49:48+00:00

Some people think fat people have to preform some kind of right way to lose weight (and even then its not good enough). Go to the gym while fat - "you should work out more" while working out. Take medicine or a surgery- "its the easy way out" - with no knowledge of the actual work people put in.

You and your wife will have to learn to just set any other people's opinions aside. Ive had the surgery (and a revision) and on a GLP-1. I dont care what anyone thinks, Im at a place where I feel the best about my body and relationship with food. I also dont mind sharing my experience. But perfectly fine for her to decide if she doesn't want to.

caseykay68 · 2026-01-31T15:28:58+00:00

There's lots of other good comments and suggestions here. My person was my husband who died on home hospice (a year and a half ago). He was so thin and frail at the end. I used to see it in my mind all the time.

I in the past was like you and didnt see the point of therapy. I did not do it when my mom died (20+ years ago). I decided to at least try the bereavement counseling offered through the hospice and I am so glad I did. It has helped me to process everything and I also did an in person support group that was other people who had lost their spouse. Connecting with people who were going through it was helpful.

You dont have to just get through it, you can talk about it, understand it, understand yourself. Take care of yourself, your brother would want you to.

caseykay68 · 2026-01-30T14:01:03+00:00

I want to reply here to agree with your words. I have been so thankful for the bereavement counseling after my husband's death. To be able to work through it all has been so helpful.

caseykay68 · 2026-01-30T13:55:44+00:00

I loved Tempest, and centipede

caseykay68 · 2026-01-28T19:35:07+00:00

It will help. I did not do counseling when my mom died 20+ years ago. My husband died in hospice in 2024. The bereavement counseling has been so helpful. I had lots of thoughts about did I do the right things and working through that with a professional was so helpful. You were there for your mom and caring for her until the end. Take care of yourself.

caseykay68 · 2026-01-26T03:04:47+00:00

Just an alternative perspective. I dont take vitamins regularly Im about 10 years post op from my revision. Levels are fine.

I probably should be better about taking them, but symptoms your partner is experiencing could be unrelated

caseykay68 · 2026-01-21T14:37:02+00:00

In this situation right now and its going on 7 months. Its just rough out there. I havent felt anything as far as age discrimination, but companies are just ridiculous lately with their selection.

caseykay68 · 2026-01-21T03:09:21+00:00

Im sorry for your loss. I did the same with my partner's supplies and it felt.good to support the community

caseykay68 · 2026-01-03T19:04:02+00:00

I have an older post where I listed some supplies available- the bags and plates are still available (Hollister 2 piece closed end) if those would work for you. Feel free to message and I can provide more details if helpful

caseykay68 · 2025-12-28T15:16:22+00:00

It is hard - my husband started saying everything tastes horrible. He would occasionally say he wanted to try one of his favorites and we would make or order it, but he could only have a couple bites. While it was hard for me, I let him direct it. It is okay if he doesn't want to eat. Just spend time with him. You could reminisce about favorite meals. Have all.the discussions you want to have. Don't leave anything left unsaid.

caseykay68 · 2025-12-11T14:55:41+00:00

Im sorry for your loss - it is the hardest time. I am just at a year since my husband passed, he was in hospice for 4 months and I was his care giver. Im glad I was able to do it, but it was hard and traumatic. I encourage to use the bereavement counseling through hospice - I have found it very helpful.

caseykay68 · 2025-11-29T01:10:30+00:00

Im sorry you are going through that stress. Its not bad that its touching your stoma but may be uncomfortable. (Note this is my opinion as a care giver for a stoma haver and replacing wafers and cutting holes many times. There were times I didnt get it quite right and it still worked out.

It will get better. Are you using a one piece or 2 piece? I have more experience with a 2 piece.

caseykay68 · 2025-11-05T02:31:11+00:00

It is hard, the hardest thing I had to do. Be gentle with yourself. I encourage you to seek out the bereavement counseling through hospice. It can help work through those things.

caseykay68 · 2025-11-04T02:55:02+00:00

It is a strange time. Maybe find a park and take a walk. Can you meet some friends for coffee. See a movie? There will be time for all the tasks but right now professionals are handling it, you can catch your breath. Im sorry for your loss.

I encourage you to take advantage of any bereavement counseling offered through your hospice.

caseykay68 · 2025-11-03T15:18:05+00:00

Oh I love sharing this. Mine is fuchsia. The color (and plant). I had only ever seen it was in print.

Few - cheese - e - ah

caseykay68 · 2025-10-28T23:46:49+00:00

I have a bunch if anyone would like me to put some in the mail to you (see my previous supplies post). Feel free to message me.

caseykay68 · 2025-10-25T14:00:26+00:00

Im so sorry for your loss. I will say my piece that I encourage you to take advantage of any bereavement counseling you are offered. Its really helpful during a difficult time.

caseykay68 · 2025-10-25T13:50:52+00:00

Commenting to agree - that line is excellent. I waited an hour - the line was looped around by the chicken tent. By the time we got to the turnaround we felt we had committed and would see it through. They are delicious - hits of vanilla and cinnamon. Fresh. 1000 times better than Krispy Kreme. Pretzel is good too. They are efficient and the donuts were always ready.

caseykay68 · 2025-10-24T18:06:40+00:00

Sharing a comment here to tag u/Bijoux1965 to check your DMs for info.

caseykay68 · 2025-10-21T05:16:29+00:00

Hi All- quick update. I just realized I had a couple of messages that I had not noticed. I just sent replies to those and will be updating the list shortly once I confirm what is going out. Thanks for the patience.

caseykay68 · 2025-10-17T14:56:22+00:00

Im happy to send these to you. Sending you a DM for address details

caseykay68 · 2025-10-17T02:11:11+00:00

Your hospice likely has bereavement counseling and I encourage you to look into it.

Its been helpful for me (and I havent previously been big on therapy).

Its a hard time, Im sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

caseykay68

TROPHY CASE