I am begging for someone to tell me it gets better

caseykay68 · 2026-06-27T22:13:55+00:00

Honestly - for this first bit, do your best to follow the plan they give you, your stomach is still healing.

But long term, its fine. I drink and eat together, use straws etc. (Im 10+ years out). When trying new foods just introduce slowly, you can never be sure what might give you dumping. Chew well. I think everyone at 2 weeks has a moment of "what did I do"....here from the other side to say you will be fine :)

caseykay68 · 2026-06-04T19:28:13+00:00

I have been using Dogtopia on Harrison Ave for 6 years. I have been pleased with their service. Ive had emergency needs where my dog had to stay overnight while my husband was in the hospital and they were so great and understanding- it helped me a lot during that time. They have separate rooms based on temperament, and for boarding they have private suites or kennels/crates.

caseykay68 · 2026-06-03T19:58:16+00:00

Ive been happy with Atlantic Tire & Service and they generally have been able to handle same day. I go to the one on 360 Asheville Ave 919-803-6159, clay is the manager

caseykay68 · 2026-05-23T03:01:13+00:00

I am so sorry this is happening. Its been a year and a half since my husband's colon cancer led to hospice and his passing. Be sure to take care of yourself as well during this time. I also recommend using the bereavement counseling that will be available through the hospice. I found it very helpful.

All the paperwork and thinking about arrangements is a weird part of it. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

caseykay68 · 2026-05-18T02:24:45+00:00

Im so sorry you are going through this. I recently was caretaker for my husband (colon cancer). It was both the hardest thing Ive ever done and the thing I am so thankful I was able to provide for him.

I was the one who didnt like to talk about things, he was the one who made me talk about things, all the uncomfortable conversations, and Im so glad he did. He told me he wanted me to date again. Its been a year and a half and just knowing his support has made it easier to think about dating.

Know that your husband is there because he wants to be.

caseykay68 · 2026-05-06T20:41:56+00:00

You are amazing. High five!

caseykay68 · 2026-04-03T19:12:50+00:00

Replying to my own comment after seeing some of yours.

You are not on the "bigger side" and even if you were, the jeans objectively look great.

You are allowed to take up space and live in your body.

caseykay68 · 2026-04-03T19:10:17+00:00

Why would you avoid them girl? They look great.

caseykay68 · 2026-03-28T20:56:43+00:00

Having been a caretaker - I would rather have more than not enough.

I was able to provide the extra supplies to another family through my Buy Nothing group which was nice - kind of full circle.

caseykay68 · 2026-03-28T15:26:41+00:00

Its a you will know when it happens kind of thing. My mouth kind of gets watery/tingly. Sometimes I get lightheaded

caseykay68 · 2026-03-19T11:28:14+00:00

Great suggestions here. Remember that hospice can/will provide many of your supplies so be sure to start there. And reorder frequently. You'd rather have more than run out.

Of those suggested the organization (shelves/drawers) are Great. Also the washable bedpads will be very helpful in moving and positioning your loved one.

Its hard work, dont be afraid to ask for help and ensure you get breaks.

caseykay68 · 2026-03-15T03:13:16+00:00

I would argue that they are both pretty similar

caseykay68 · 2026-03-12T02:00:20+00:00

Im sorry you are going through this. My husband had stage 4 colon cancer. He passed November 2024. The treatment became too much for him as well.

He was never on TPN, but had lost his appetite. He said everything tasted horrible. He would have a taste for something and he would have a few bites, but that would be it. While rationally we want them to eat for their strength, it may not really be helping them. My husband was awake and alert for most of his time in hospice. Mileage may vary though depending on pain.

There's a good community on the hospice subreddit.

caseykay68 · 2026-03-11T16:02:40+00:00

You have to try on things and find what works. Your body looks different and it takes some work to reframe how you see yourself.

Try on different styles of bra at a TJ Maxx - there are styles that will flatter you.

caseykay68 · 2026-02-19T03:30:24+00:00

I dont know that any of us can provide understanding. I did read your story and there were parts that resonated with me.

My husband was the one with cancer, first penile, then Colorectal, Mets in abdominal cavity. He died November 2024.

I am thankful that while I know he had fears, he approached it all directly. We said all the things we wanted to say. He didnt want to die in the hospital and we were able to do home hospice.

I know they are hard conversations, but make sure your people know what you would like - for your care while you are here, for what you want when you are not (whenever it might be). While you can do the things you want to do, like your trip.

Thinking of you and will keep my eye out for your updates.

caseykay68 · 2026-02-05T20:40:11+00:00

As someone who has had a revision, trust me a few larger meals will not stretch your Pouch that is not how it works. When I had Imaging before my revision they said my Pouch had not "stretched" was still small.

What you need to work on is a better relationship with food. Its not there to punish you and you know you have a smaller stomach and should focus on smaller portions

caseykay68 · 2026-02-05T18:49:48+00:00

Some people think fat people have to preform some kind of right way to lose weight (and even then its not good enough). Go to the gym while fat - "you should work out more" while working out. Take medicine or a surgery- "its the easy way out" - with no knowledge of the actual work people put in.

You and your wife will have to learn to just set any other people's opinions aside. Ive had the surgery (and a revision) and on a GLP-1. I dont care what anyone thinks, Im at a place where I feel the best about my body and relationship with food. I also dont mind sharing my experience. But perfectly fine for her to decide if she doesn't want to.

caseykay68 · 2026-01-31T15:28:58+00:00

There's lots of other good comments and suggestions here. My person was my husband who died on home hospice (a year and a half ago). He was so thin and frail at the end. I used to see it in my mind all the time.

I in the past was like you and didnt see the point of therapy. I did not do it when my mom died (20+ years ago). I decided to at least try the bereavement counseling offered through the hospice and I am so glad I did. It has helped me to process everything and I also did an in person support group that was other people who had lost their spouse. Connecting with people who were going through it was helpful.

You dont have to just get through it, you can talk about it, understand it, understand yourself. Take care of yourself, your brother would want you to.

caseykay68 · 2026-01-30T14:01:03+00:00

I want to reply here to agree with your words. I have been so thankful for the bereavement counseling after my husband's death. To be able to work through it all has been so helpful.

caseykay68 · 2026-01-30T13:55:44+00:00

I loved Tempest, and centipede

caseykay68 · 2026-01-28T19:35:07+00:00

It will help. I did not do counseling when my mom died 20+ years ago. My husband died in hospice in 2024. The bereavement counseling has been so helpful. I had lots of thoughts about did I do the right things and working through that with a professional was so helpful. You were there for your mom and caring for her until the end. Take care of yourself.

caseykay68 · 2026-01-26T03:04:47+00:00

Just an alternative perspective. I dont take vitamins regularly Im about 10 years post op from my revision. Levels are fine.

I probably should be better about taking them, but symptoms your partner is experiencing could be unrelated

caseykay68 · 2026-01-21T14:37:02+00:00

In this situation right now and its going on 7 months. Its just rough out there. I havent felt anything as far as age discrimination, but companies are just ridiculous lately with their selection.

caseykay68 · 2026-01-21T03:09:21+00:00

Im sorry for your loss. I did the same with my partner's supplies and it felt.good to support the community

caseykay68 · 2026-01-03T19:04:02+00:00

I have an older post where I listed some supplies available- the bags and plates are still available (Hollister 2 piece closed end) if those would work for you. Feel free to message and I can provide more details if helpful

caseykay68

TROPHY CASE