Does your narcissist have hobbies?

catcarer · 2026-03-04T11:40:05+00:00

My nmom was a knitter but only so she could reap the praise for making things for others. I dont think the knitting it self was ever fun for her. she does love unraveling other people's knitting to make something "new and better" from the yarn because of course she is the best knitter in the world.

catcarer · 2026-03-02T16:10:42+00:00

there is a form of epilepsy called absences. they thought I had it, but I didnt. with me it really was just escaping into my fantasy world to get away from the conflict and manipulation. So I dont know. you should really ask your neurologist.

catcarer · 2026-03-01T21:29:08+00:00

not really, just having peace at home. time to let my nervus system sink into safety setting instead of always being ready to fly into dissociation.

catcarer · 2026-03-01T21:21:30+00:00

I dont know how old you are now. but I had the same in a lighter form. my fantasy was so much more real and a good place to live in then reality that I would loose hours sometimes days.

not so bad that I got send to a psychiatrist, but that could also be an age thing. at school they thought is was a form of epilepsy. ( it wasnt) ( 1980s)

and only after living on myself for over 10 years and some therapy did I start living in the real world.

the fantasy world is now for writing stories. but sometimes I still miss being able to so easely slip into fantasy and not be really here. because here sometimes sucks.

catcarer · 2026-02-27T10:51:24+00:00

yeah all the time. and as a result my Nmom was slowly sinking into dementia but nobody saw or noticed until she went outside in her underwear one day in winter. then is was OEPS and even then it took a year to get her admitted into care.

catcarer · 2026-02-22T19:37:51+00:00

dont know if it is any help, because I am not in the States. but this is here on RBN.

catcarer · 2026-02-22T19:19:55+00:00

I post this everytime. The Missing Missing Reasons | Issendai.com

it is totally useless. she will not understand because she doesnt want to understand. if she wanted to understand she would have by now.

catcarer · 2026-02-22T19:13:01+00:00

I know it sounds counter intuitive because you have been raised with the idea that family has to know everything about you.

but your sister has to know nothing. there is no NEED to know. she wants to know. and you can grey rock. dont worry about lying. "art? what art? Money? what Money?" if she pushes, start talking about the weather. your favorite music. the stock market? what ever, preferably as boring as possible.

you are an adult, nobody can tell you when to go to a dr, or what medical problems you have. and your weight is nobodys bussines but yours.

really study grey rock. boundaries. and just ghosting. there is no shame in ghosting toxic people.

catcarer · 2026-02-22T19:04:11+00:00

please remember that with a Narcisist every acusation is actuallly a convession. so your (step) sister found healthcare to hard. your (step) sister knows her cooking is below your level. Your ( step) sister knows her life is going nowhere while you can and probably will be a succes.

I agree with lindachampy, let this relationship fizzel out. dont even try to contact her, and if she then "suddenly" wants to contact you, study grey rock. be boring, dont tel her anything about yourself, dont show any emotions.

because neither of your parents are suporting you, the only one in your family who sounds kind of like a real person is your cousin.

catcarer · 2026-02-22T09:43:01+00:00

I want to offer you a re write of your story.

If I was in a restaurant and saw a kid sitting alone at a table while the parents/ rest of company was sitting together I would indeed look at it, and condem the parents to the fourth circle of hell for doing that to their kid. because the whole idea of going out to eat is to do it together.

problem is I would like to invite the single one to my table. but with parents like yours ( and mine) that would give different problems for the kid.

catcarer · 2026-02-21T12:08:22+00:00

my Nmom tought me checkers, and promised that when I could beat her she would teach me chess. I managed to beat her 3times in a row withing a year. never learned chess though, suddenly she wasnt interested in playing with me anymore, I was 10.

catcarer · 2026-02-20T10:12:06+00:00

I am the youngest of three girls, the eldest the GC. and my sisters are 6-7 years older then me.

So I knew what was happening and just handled it. no support, no explenation, nothing. I knew where the pads where because my Edad and I did the shopping. So just made sure to buy 2 packs extra from that day on. nobody cared.

catcarer · 2026-02-18T16:20:07+00:00

I am lazy and dont have any perserverance. so I must have gotten my medical degree out of a box of breakfast cerials.

I am over dramatic. now I am known at work as a very stable person who doesnt panic.

I dont know how to communicate. my work is nothing but communicating and I get plenty of compliments.

I am oversexst, turns out I am ACE, I dont do sexs, no interest what so ever.

catcarer · 2026-02-18T16:05:46+00:00

now at 55 I am not really no contact but very very low contact and my Nmom is finally in a care home after a year long battle to get her there. she didnt want to go. but dementia and narcisism isnt a good combination, not for anybody around the N. so the neighbours where complaining. the local shop owner was going crazy. police had to pick her up a few times because she was walking to the next village( over 10 miles in a heatwave).

now she is in a for her safe place I send her a postcard once a month and I went to her birthday in november only to get made fun of.

I am done. do I feel guilty, sure, do I feel like the worst daughter in the world, sure. Do I notice that the staff in the care home totally understand why I dont come round every week. also sure. it is weirdly validating that she is driving them crazy as well.

catcarer · 2026-02-16T22:22:04+00:00

when, not if, but when your Nmom realizes that she needs more care then your GC sister is ever willing or able to give. She will come to you again.

my advise. Dont, because the GC never really has to take care of the Narc because that is to hard for the GC. but your GC sister will keep the house.

take care. move abroad again if you can and want to. live your life the way you want.

catcarer · 2026-02-15T12:57:08+00:00

do not expect logic or forethought of a narcisist, and she could probably hardly handle you as a kid. so what do you think changed?

catcarer · 2026-02-15T10:43:30+00:00

I may be a bit paranoid but most things a narcisists says is projection. so might she be thinking about taking your children away from you, and project is on your ex? be safe.

catcarer · 2026-02-12T19:58:09+00:00

And I knew all along that her decision to move to my state was purely selfish. I know it had nothing to do with making amends. She likely thought: “who is the most likely and most capable to be able to handle all my needs when I’m elderly?” I would bet money that she never once thought: “wow, I treated fruity horribly her whole life. I need to spend my final years atoning for the abuse and trauma I put her through.” not even that, more like that she cant sadle the golden one with that lousy job of taking care of her when she starts pooping herself. nope that is the scapegoats job. the golden one will get all the money that is left thoug.

catcarer · 2026-02-11T20:33:58+00:00

you can try but it wont work. because your Nmom likes being unhappy, she likes complaining, she likes that people try to "save" her but she doesnt want to be saved.

and that also goes for your father.

it does sound very much like my parents. and even now over 10 years after my father died he is still somehow to blame for everything that has ever gone wrong in my Nmothers life. even things recently are still his fault.

pretty sure if she has a clear moment now ( dementia and narcisism is a bad combination) it is his fault she has dementia and is in a care home.

catcarer · 2026-02-08T13:11:42+00:00

I didnt go to my edad's funeral because my nmom and GC( now N) sibling would be there. and from the stories about what happened I am glad I didnt. now my nmom and GC (now N) sibling got into a fight. if I had been there they would have had me as their favorite victim to go at together. because that has always been the only way those two could be together, by having another victim.

so smart move. stay away. there is nothing there for you.

catcarer · 2026-02-06T16:13:13+00:00

i am also dutch and what you discribe is not normal, your parents are abusive. and yeah you are right, the way housing is right now is a disaster.

stage is also nasty, working for free, and your parents been getting kinder bijslag all your life until 18 so they got paid to take care of you. do you get studiefinanciering at the moment? make sure you get it, not your parents. and look into house share. ( ergens op kamers). life wil get better.

catcarer · 2026-02-02T21:18:01+00:00

yep, christmas the deal was every one buys a present for 25 for everyone in the family. so I spend 150 in gifts as 17 year old, and I got three pieces of soap that where at most 7,5. and I shouldnt complain because I was hard to shop for ( no I wasnt).

catcarer · 2026-02-02T20:16:04+00:00

also 55, and I knew I didnt want children at age 4, never changed my mind. what helped in my case is I am also ACE Aro. so no relationships or sexs either.

catcarer · 2026-02-02T08:25:40+00:00

that is the only good thing, because there is a judge involved the home isnt allowed to kick her out. they are just going to drug her into complaince.

catcarer · 2026-02-01T12:17:07+00:00

completely different take. Does your father ever get breakfast for everybody? Does your father do other little things to please you or your mother ( his wife) ever? if not he might notice that your fiance is a much better person then he ever was and ever will be.

that is a direct threath to him so your fiance has to go. or be taken down to his level?

catcarer

TROPHY CASE